Yossarian
12-21-2004, 08:32 PM
alrighty, i'm really bored and have had these in my head for a while. most are kinda humerous, and all work
if you've got diarhea(sp), blame the cafe, take a newspaper into the john, come back in half hour, you're curred. if symptoms persist, stay in the john longer.
if puking, same, but neglect the newspaper, just take the comics. afterwards, take some pepto or similar substance, it'll kill the taste and make you feel a little better. a good nap is suggested as well.
fever, blame the roomate, stay in bed. avoid cafe food, or first two may result, making condition worse. make routine trips to the water fountian/sink for refreshment. even better, make the roomie make you ramen noodles.
personal injury, dumbass. take three tylenol, call me in the morning. if bleeding badly, apply pressure with a towel and find your RA, he/she can help you from there. if just a minor cut, wash it off, clean it, let it air dry for about 30 mins, bandaid it, proceed with your day/night.
emotional problems, dumbass. take three tylenol, call someone else in the morning. don't talk to the roomie, unless you absolutly trust them not to go spreading the fact that you have problems. talk to your pillow, it listens and is too dumb to talk back. then again, if you're taling to a pillow......
hangover, if you stand up outta bed and hafta sit right back down, take three tyylenol and go back to sleep, if you don't, take three tylenol and a shower. eat something light. ramen noodles is perfect, cafe isn't. if you've got cotton mouth, drink water/juice slowly, don't chug it. easy way to prevent cotton mouth, drink atleast one glass of water after you stop drinking and before you pass out. after waking up, check self for personal injury.
i'll probably do diet tommorow
if you've got diarhea(sp), blame the cafe, take a newspaper into the john, come back in half hour, you're curred. if symptoms persist, stay in the john longer.
if puking, same, but neglect the newspaper, just take the comics. afterwards, take some pepto or similar substance, it'll kill the taste and make you feel a little better. a good nap is suggested as well.
fever, blame the roomate, stay in bed. avoid cafe food, or first two may result, making condition worse. make routine trips to the water fountian/sink for refreshment. even better, make the roomie make you ramen noodles.
personal injury, dumbass. take three tylenol, call me in the morning. if bleeding badly, apply pressure with a towel and find your RA, he/she can help you from there. if just a minor cut, wash it off, clean it, let it air dry for about 30 mins, bandaid it, proceed with your day/night.
emotional problems, dumbass. take three tylenol, call someone else in the morning. don't talk to the roomie, unless you absolutly trust them not to go spreading the fact that you have problems. talk to your pillow, it listens and is too dumb to talk back. then again, if you're taling to a pillow......
hangover, if you stand up outta bed and hafta sit right back down, take three tyylenol and go back to sleep, if you don't, take three tylenol and a shower. eat something light. ramen noodles is perfect, cafe isn't. if you've got cotton mouth, drink water/juice slowly, don't chug it. easy way to prevent cotton mouth, drink atleast one glass of water after you stop drinking and before you pass out. after waking up, check self for personal injury.
i'll probably do diet tommorow