Buddhist Funeral Protocol

[sizemic1]

Hi all,

as some of you may know, a friend of mine died just recently.
He was Thai and his family is holding what I assume is a traditional Buddhist ceremony.

Day 1: Water Blessing and Buddhist Chanting Ceremony
Day 2: Buddhist Chanting Ceremony
Day 3: Buddhist Chanting Ceremony and Buddhist Cremation Ceremony

I have never attended Buddhist services before and i'm not sure what to expect. Also, I'm only going to be able to attend for one day and I don't know which day would be most appropriate.

Can someone please enlighten me as to what I should expect? I assume the attire is formal..am I wrong?

Also the family is requesting that any donations go through one of his family members. What is the purpose of the donation? What is an appropriate amount to give?

I'd really appreciate any help you all can provide.

[ShawnLee]

I'm not Buddhist so I can't say, but if you're that interested in following protocol I'd recommend talking with the monks at the specific temple because there are different types of Buddhism and following protocol might be different based on that. More than likely, I'm willing to bet that they'll be glad you came and that just as long as you're respectful and not disruptive, you should have no problems, but again, I'm not Busshist.

Hmm, as for the financial part it depends on how close you were and your means. I don't know about Thais but Koreans give money and that's part of the culture and not the religion. The purpose there is to help the family out with any costs and also a symbol that you're supporting them in their time of difficulty. Again, I'm sure that if you're not comfortable with giving money or the amount, that they'd be happy that you cared to show to remember and to support.

[Markel]

About the only thing I can remember (company memos, since many of the Japanese are Buddist) is to NOT wear bright colors, especially red, as it represents joy. Just dark, plain dress is appropriate.

[bachviet]

Attend "Day 3" since you could see him for the last time and see the cremation ceremony. There will be many monks chanting (or praying) for him and sometimes each session is as long as 1 hour. You should follow what pple do when they go up there to see him for the last time.

You don't have to wear formal clothing (suits & tie) but wear dark color pants with white/dark color shirt. Definitely don't wear jeans and t-shirt.

Donations are usually for helping his family to pay for the funeral. You don't have to donate if you don't want to. Lots of Buddhists (like my Mom) don't want donations because they owe more debts in their next lives. Usually they want the donations to go to one of the charity organizations. You could always buy flowers instead of donating money.