Unnerving phone call

[Gothic Girl]

(Didn't know where to post this, so I figured here.)

I got a phone call today that I'm still pretty angry about. My son's school started today and he left the house to go at 730am (school starts at 9am, but he wanted to be there really early so he could play, and we only live 2 blocks from school). My phone rings today at 130pm and I see it's from his school.

So I pick up the phone and the lady says "Is Tyler attending our school this year?" I said yes. "Well, did you know today was the first day of school?" I said yeeesss. She then proceeds to tell me that Tyler's been marked absent. I screamed "WHAT?! No, he WENT to school. He left here early to get to school."

She puts me on hold to call his teacher. Meanwhile, I'm panicking, getting ready to pull out his pictures and fingerprints, and going through the list of people I needed to call. 911, his father, my husband, etc.

She gets back on the phone and tells me "Oh, sorry. It was a misunderstanding. He's here in class." Of course then I proceed to scream at her that I didn't appreciate getting a phone call like this. She told me she was sorry, that it was the worst part of her job. I yelled back that she needed to DO her job and make sure the kid is really missing before calling the parents.

Ooooh I wanted to kill her. I mean, really. Make sure the kid's really missing before calling me and getting me all panicked.

Also, I couldn't believe that they waited until 130pm to call me. If my kid was missing, shouldn't they have called me sooner?

[MikeD]

She gets back on the phone and tells me "Oh, sorry. It was a misunderstanding. He's here in class." Of course then I proceed to scream at her that I didn't appreciate getting a phone call like this. She told me she was sorry, that it was the worst part of her job. I yelled back that she needed to DO her job and make sure the kid is really missing before calling the parents.

Hey, these are normal folks who make mistakes too. I actually give them the benefit of the doubt sometimes, based solely upon the short experiences I have when waiting in the office for my child (get out of school early, dropping off late after doctor's appointment). I see the reason to be upset, but going off on someone doesn't help the situation at all.



Also, I couldn't believe that they waited until 130pm to call me. If my kid was missing, shouldn't they have called me sooner?

Now this is what I would have questioned. Did it take 5 1/2 hours for someone to notice he was gone? Isn't that what class roll is for? I would have questioned that, no doubt...


Hey, the good news is that he's safe. :)

[Mommypooh]

I would be breathing down the superintendents neck for that, I think that is wrong and would make me not trust the school system. I would have someone's job one way or another. I am sorry that is outragous that they call 5 1/2 hours after the start of the day to tell you your child is not there then say oh sorry he is here hehehe I am idiot and should not be working with children. Sorry, I was on a rant.

[cheapie]

I would be breathing down the superintendents neck for that, I think that is wrong and would make me not trust the school system. I would have someone's job one way or another. I am sorry that is outragous that they call 5 1/2 hours after the start of the day to tell you your child is not there then say oh sorry he is here hehehe I am idiot and should not be working with children. Sorry, I was on a rant.


:rolleyes: puhlease. it was a mistake at the beginning of the school year. the apology needs to be accepted. trying to get someone fired for a misunderstanding is way overboard. she already had to listen to a screaming woman on the other end of the phone berating her for not doing her job.

[smeakim]

GG I don't even have kids, and I agree I would have a phone call with the Principal as well as the SI. 5.5 hours is a long time to notice a kid was either there or not. Come on. It is not like this is HS where kids come and go and can be late. This is elementary school and the first day. They should have been calling within the first hour, not 5.5. They should verify and reverify that a student is not there; especially a young one, before making this type of call. I would have her job as well. Harsh, maybe, but someone should do their job better.

[faither]

:rolleyes: puhlease. it was a mistake at the beginning of the school year. the apology needs to be accepted. trying to get someone fired for a misunderstanding is way overboard. she already had to listen to a screaming woman on the other end of the phone berating her for not doing her job.
:stupid:

There's a school of thought (no pun indended) that say's the only way you could have mitigated the hysteria and better known if he was there was if you'd brought him yourself.

I'm not sure how old your son is but I know with 10 and 7 year-old girls (and I'm sure boys if we had them) we take them ourselves and make sure they get where they are supposed to be going -- even though we can see the school from the entrance to our neighborhood. Especially being the first day of school.

[mcs328]

Well when I went to school (High School) they took role call every period so he may have skipped a class. I'm assumming that's not your case because I think you have a kid in like elementary school right? I've been marked absent before mistakenly quite a few times when I was actually there (*Sniff* disqualified for perfect attendance again). Yeah the phone call is nerve racking...I wouldn't say oh we all mistakes...but I'd be measureably rattled especially in this day and age.

[Gothic Girl]

My son's been walking to and from school with a group of friends since 4th grade. I'm not too worried about it because there's a shortcut right behind our apartment that leads him directly to the baseball field and playground. Otherwise, he walks up the 2 blocks to the front of the school, which isn't bad either. There's crossing gaurds all along the way, and behind us is very residential with hardly any traffic, old people out walking their dogs, and parents all around standing outside watching their kids go to school.

[chrissy]

I help everyonce in a while at Lomie and know that sometimes, depending on how many kids and parents are in and out of the office, attendance would be pushed back to sometimes after lunch.

being that it was the first day of school, no doubt there were last minute registrations going in, kids in and out with their parents, new staff memebers, etc.

I had a similar experience when Audrey was in 1st grade. The day care called me at work (I worked 30 min away) and said that Audie hadn't been signed back in after school and needed me to come sign her out since I had picked her up from school.

Well, my knee jerk reaction was "WHAT?? I didn't pick her up! You don't know where she is??" They placed me on hold and checked the room, someone was running back to the school to see if she was left there, I placed them on hold and called Audrey's dad.

Come to find out, he picked her up from school because he had something to do and forgot to sign her out (which he could have done at the school with the daycare workers).

I was very glad that they noticed and counted the kids and alerted me rather than no communication at all. They later explained to me that as soon as they notice a child gone, they have to notify the parents while the search starts on their end.

Now, that is different for a school, but I don't know how much.

[PrObLy]

I'm glad youd child is ok, GG.

I would probably be a bit more upset with the teacher than the secretary who called you.

It's the teacher's job to take the attendance and he/she probably made the mistake of not counting your child, possibly marking absent instead of 'here' on accident, or just not double counting her attending class vs what she had marked down.

If the secretary had to personally call each teacher to double check that a student was truly absent I think this would probably take away from a lot of her time to accomplish her other work and piss off the teachers for always questioning their attendance.

I know a child is far more important than getting additional work done, but all I'm trying to say is that the lady who called you was just relaying the word of the teacher coupled with the fact that no "absentee call" was placed to the school for the child. I feel the teacher is the one who should probably get the blame.

I agree that it is pretty ridiculous that it took them until the school day was practically over to call you about this potential incident, though. I would be mighty ticked off about that.

[Jane83]

wow thats the dumbest thing ive ever heard...people who work in school offices are just as dumb as the ones who work at the DMV.
what grade is your son?
i used to totally ditch school all the time in high school, so if hes anywhere near that, and will be soon, no need to panic.

[Gothic Girl]

Nah, he's only in 5th grade. I still have a few years to worry about the ditching!

[riskykougra]

Well I dont know how it works in your schools, but here they do attendance in the morning and after lunch. So your son may have been marked present in the morning but was either missed after lunch or the teacher may not have heard him. The problem with the first day of school, actually the first week, is that everything is so unorganised and mostly because some parents are either phoning or at the school either registering kids or trying to get bussing and stuff. The same thing actually happened to my youngest son last year but fortunately it was one of the days I drove him to school so I knew he was there and just told the secretary to check again. So it can happen and it is one of the scarriest things to have happen cause missing children is no joke. But I dont think it took 5.5 hrs to notice he wasnt there I think it must of been just since lunch. Hope it doesnt happen again and Im sure the secretary most likely understood why you were upset.

[Merlin]

And the moral of the story is not to panic or get your panties in a bunch until you actually have solid information. It was a mistake - let it go and in the future try and keep a cool head.

[Gothic Girl]

*snip*
No, they don't even get back from lunch until 135pm.

[cadetevon]

And the moral of the story is not to panic or get your panties in a bunch until you actually have solid information. It was a mistake - let it go and in the future try and keep a cool head.


She thought she did have solid information.

It wasn't like she called the school asking where her child was. They called her saying that he wasn't there. She had no reason to doubt them.

GG, I'm super glad that your child is ok. *hugs* But, and this one is a big but, it's always best to remain calm. Even if he was actually missing, you'd be more use to the authorities if you're calm.

Again, I'm glad he's ok. *hugs*

[smeakim]

Panties in a bunch and keep cool. Come on they call and tell you 5.5 hours after schools starts that your kid is not there. They are responsible for the child and doing their job. If the child was really missing, the search is already over 6 hours old before anything could be done becuase someone was not paying attention. Glad these are the people teaching our future leaders. I want my child to learn from someone who can't properly check a name on a box becuase they are too rushed and could care a less. GG I would still be yelling. I am expected to do my job well and I except they should do their job well as well. The kid is in elementary school. You can't look at this as no harm no foul. I would continue to yell and make a bid deal about this becuase it may save a child in the future. They really need to get down their procedures before panicing a parent on the phone while they try to figure it out while you are on the phone. Maybe it was the teacher, maybe the secretary, or maybe whoever. I would get to the bottom and make sure the procedures are changed. Glad he is OK.

[Grimm]

While I can see that it was an absolutely terrifying experience, I can't really blame the secretary.

She gets a list of kids that weren't in school the first day that were expected to be. The list probably has 20+ names on it, maybe 50, who knows. There is no way she can check to see if every kid is absent without spending the whole day running around. If one really is missing, as in disapeared form the school grounds, she wouldn't know fo sure untill she talked to all the parents that evening when she finaly got around to calling.
So, she called the numbers on the list and found that some people had moved, some had forgotten to send their kids, and some were sick. And due to some teachers making an error, one or two parents got the scare of their life. So, you should probably appologize to the secretary. Just say something along the lines that you were very upset when she called and that you shouldn't have taken it out on her when the teacher was the one who had the mistake that almost stopped your heart.

Unfortuinately, you can't berate the teacher as they rightly deserve. If you do the evil, hateful, scummsucking waste of flesh will take it out on your child. This is from personal experience. My school experience was hell. My mom never hesitated to argue with one of my teachers. They made me pay for it every day. So, if you love your child (and you do) you will politely mention to the teacher how much of a start it gave you when you received the call and let it drop at that. You will not attempt to crucify them (using rusty nails) as they deserve. Any grief you visit upon the teacher will fall upon your child ten times.

[RIVERWIDOW]

So I am curious. What school does he go to ? Knowing where you live- does he go to Flying Hills?? The first week is hectic and I :wavey2: happen to know for a fact that Flying Hills only has 2 people working in their office and 1 of them is brand new and clueless.

[GracieBayb]

GG, i am 100% with you on this. if i were you i would be furious with the lady - not because people aren't allowed to make mistakes - but because you can't help being upset at her for how frantic you got in those couple of moments when the worst possible scenarios flew through your mind. i'm sooooo sooooo glad that your son is okay.

[avlena]

While I can see that it was an absolutely terrifying experience, I can't really blame the secretary.

She gets a list of kids that weren't in school the first day that were expected to be. The list probably has 20+ names on it, maybe 50, who knows. There is no way she can check to see if every kid is absent without spending the whole day running around. If one really is missing, as in disapeared form the school grounds, she wouldn't know fo sure untill she talked to all the parents that evening when she finaly got around to calling.
So, she called the numbers on the list and found that some people had moved, some had forgotten to send their kids, and some were sick. And due to some teachers making an error, one or two parents got the scare of their life. So, you should probably appologize to the secretary. Just say something along the lines that you were very upset when she called and that you shouldn't have taken it out on her when the teacher was the one who had the mistake that almost stopped your heart.


:stupid:

I suspect it was pretty much the same reaction my parents always had whenever a potentially bad situation would turn out okay - the panic turns to another extreme emotion, anger. But it's really not the secretary's fault, it's more likely a string of issues in the school, from the teacher not noticing the kid to the office being swamped with work.

[cheapie]

GG, i am 100% with you on this. if i were you i would be furious with the lady - not because people aren't allowed to make mistakes - but because you can't help being upset at her for how frantic you got in those couple of moments when the worst possible scenarios flew through your mind. i'm sooooo sooooo glad that your son is okay.


:spock: screaming at someone over the phone that is merely reporting what she was told is :rolleyes: imho. especially AFTER you found out your kid is okay.

[Mommypooh]

and yet another reason for me to homeschool. The incompetence of others is staggering. I don't trust anyone with my children, and everlythime something happens like this or other things that go unreported it reaffirms my choice to keep my children home.

That woman deserved the ear full you gave her and more.

[Gothic Girl]

So I am curious. What school does he go to ? Knowing where you live- does he go to Flying Hills?? The first week is hectic and I :wavey2: happen to know for a fact that Flying Hills only has 2 people working in their office and 1 of them is brand new and clueless.
Boy, you were right on the money!

[zenbooty]

and yet another reason for me to homeschool. The incompetence of others is staggering. I don't trust anyone with my children, and everlythime something happens like this or other things that go unreported it reaffirms my choice to keep my children home.Yikes. Its a big, crazy world out there. How long are you going to shield your children from it? :shrug:


That woman deserved the ear full you gave her and more.That woman was a secretary doing her job to report what she'd been told. I'm sure its not her responsibility to track every child in the school, and probably not her responsibility to verify the missing cases, either. You're shooting the messenger, here, which she definitey does not deserve. The rational thing to do if you want to take it out on somebody is to at least ask first who was responsible for the slip up instead of hysterically and blindly hammering the first person you talk to.

[AlpineJay]

I agree wholeheartedly with zen. Mistakes happen. Keeping a level head (I know that's difficult to do when your own child is involved) and approaching the situation rationally rather than to burn bridges with a woman who was merely trying to do her job makes more sense to me.

[riskykougra]

and yet another reason for me to homeschool. The incompetence of others is staggering. I don't trust anyone with my children, and everlythime something happens like this or other things that go unreported it reaffirms my choice to keep my children home.

That woman deserved the ear full you gave her and more.

Ok I know very little about home schooling so please dont be offended but do you ever wonder if your children are missing out on the experience of being around alot of other kids and making friends or learning a little bit of independence. Im not judging just curious.

[Mommypooh]

That is what Co-oping, Field trips, and Church groups/camp are for.

[InfiniteNothing]

Ok I know very little about home schooling so please dont be offended but do you ever wonder if your children are missing out on the experience of being around alot of other kids and making friends or learning a little bit of independence. Im not judging just curious.

Last time we had a home school debate an entire thread fell off the face of the earth only to be reborn again. http://www.gotapex.com/forums/showthread.php?t=85932

[MikeD]

That is what Co-oping, Field trips, and Church groups/camp are for.


Yikes. Its a big, crazy world out there. How long are you going to shield your children from it?

I'm with Zen on this one. The world is full of mean, bad, stupid, dumb, rude people. While home schooling does have definitive educational benefits, there are certain negatives about shielding your children from these things. Field trips and church groups can't come close to compensating from the experiences your children will have in public schools.

With that said, parents should always do what they feel is in the best interest of their children. If you feel that home schooling is the best option for your family, then you should certainly do it.

[riskykougra]

Actually I have to commend you on that one Mommypooh because I really dont think I would be able to home school my kids. It takes alot of patience...which I admit I dont have...so :thumbup: to you! I think its great and Im glad they still get to socialize although Im sure they have plenty of friends around the neighbourhood anyways.

[GracieBayb]

:spock: screaming at someone over the phone that is merely reporting what she was told is :rolleyes: imho. especially AFTER you found out your kid is okay.

i think that sometimes when you get good news after you were expecting the worst, the relief and the anxiety collide and make it really difficult/frustrating to express to someone how much stress they have caused you. i'm not saying anyone should make a habit of screaming at people, i'm just saying that the secretary probably understood why she reacted so strongly...

sheesh, you don't have to get an attitude cheapie

[Jenny]

He didn't say anything that bad. lol There are a lot of people that agree that jumping on that lady was uncalled for. Maybe the reaction was something that most people would feel. But most would apologize and realize she was just doing her job and doing what someone told her to do. That she was nowhere in charge of any of it.

:shrug: I'm glad he was there and ok. It could have been a lot worse, so thank God it wasn't!

[GracieBayb]

i know you think GG should have apologized, but i seriously think it is irresponsible and discourteous to call a child's parent to say that their child is not in school before double checking (which probably would have taken only a minute), since obviously, he had been in school all day - so if you don't double check and you end up being wrong, you sort of have to expect a mass of very frustrated parents

if you make mistakes at any job you know to expect a bunch of angry reactions with no apologies - so i don't see why you think this one should be treated differently

[Jenny]

But that's the point. SHE didn't make a mistake really. SHE did her job. HER job was to do what the principal or office manager or whoever said. And THEY are the ones that would have been responsible for that.

Now, if it WAS her job to get the lists gathered, double check that the students really weren't there and then call the parents in a timely manner, then yes, she should be bitched at.

But I dunno if it was. Do you? That's all I'm saying.

[MikeD]

i know you think GG should have apologized

She's not the only one. A bunch of us thinking GG overreacted by yelling at the secretary. She wasn't the one at fault...

:2far:

[Merlin]

She's not the only one. A bunch of us thinking GG overreacted by yelling at the secretary. She wasn't the one at fault...

:2far:
Even if she was the one at fault yelling really accomplishes nothing positive. As a general rule, losing your cool does not help.

[GracieBayb]

i'd be curious to see how you would react if a similar situation arose involving your children

[Jenny]

I'd be furious. And I would yell, saying I wanted to talk to whoever was in charge.

[smeakim]

Come on here. The point is that someone screwed up and in my opinion big time. A school if they are going to be calling parents need to make for darn sure would have used a stronger word that a child is not there before calling the parents and causing that type of anxiety. The secretary is the one who has to do it so maybe that person should be smart enough to make some changes or hope to get changes made based on being screamed at all the time when she has to make those calls when others don't do their job. I am sorry I have no sympathy for when people screw up, in this case whether it is the secretary or the teacher or the principal. I am tired of all the excuses people make. We sympathize too much with people when they screw up. That is how you learn. Own up to your mistakes, learn from them, and become stronger. Being a sympathetic society that is more concerned with saving the animals than we are with getting a better educational system for our kids, helping the homeless, or making people pay like those causing Enron and other business is why we are at where we are today in society. Everyone can pay for an attorney and if they have enough money make it work out for the best. For example, I get a DUI and I am going to pay for it, I know a couple of people who have. A sports figure gets caught and they get reckless driving and a 1000 fine and 100 hours community service. What does that teach our kids? So all the whiney, sympathetic, lets talk about feelings people need to worry less about how someone feels and more about fixing society. Just look at BRAT camp rather than send the kid away to military school they go to a touchy feely place and what happens one girl is back to the way she was before and one guy was arrested. Sorry about the rant and straying off topic, but you screw up you either force change or accept the consequences. In this case she got an ear full and I am sure she was way nicer than I would ever be, and in most instances I am pretty amiable. Let the flaming begin.

[zenbooty]

i'd be curious to see how you would react if a similar situation arose involving your childrenBetter I'm sure.


(Mad Rant)Dude you're response is all over the place. Calm down. I don't think screaming at a secretary is going to save the world from DUIs, BRAT camp (whatever the Hell that is), or Enron.

Wait, Enron? What the Hell does Enron have to do with this??? :eek3: :heh:

[smeakim]

The point is eveyone makes excuses and we let it slide. No one is held accountable today. Oh don't yell at her it will make her feel bad. Oh he has so much pressure don't take it out on him. You can't correct papers in red becuase it is traumatizing for the kids. Oh they are just kids. How about we just give smiley faces for grades and you will get :thumbup: or :D or :). You are paid to do a job and do it well. The secretary was the messenger, but maybe she learned a lesson that it might be wise to double check or hold the teacher or whoever a little more accountable so this does not happen again. I pay taxes so I help pay for my child's education. When I purchase something I expect the service or the item live up to certain standards. It is sad to say when I try to be nice I rarely get anywhere and I have calmed down quite a bit. Accepting sorry does not get the policy changed. Yelling at the secretary, followed by the principal, and then the super intendent expressing your frustration will get a lot farther than saying, "you must be having a hectic day. Thanks for panicing me about my kid missing. Have a great evening." No sympathy here.

[faither]

Making excuses? For whom? Some folks here are ripping at the office lady and administration but I'll repeat what I said earlier, the only way to have mitigated the anxiety and avoided the hysteria was to have delivered the boy to school personally. That way you know he got where he was going.

To hold the school soley responsible for this situation is wrong -- both parties had a role in creating the confusion -- and while I'll never be confused with an apologist for schools, yelling at the chick (shooting the messenger) was way out of line.

[smeakim]

Unless you are going to walk the child in and sit him down knowing that he was there at that particular point your point is also null. Maybe he disappeared after lunch or during recess or whenever. Waiting 5.5 hours, causing a panic, and then going whoops we were wrong is just plain stupid. We are talking about a missing child here. What did they expect? Secretary calls parent. Did you know your son is not here? Parent Oh really? Maybe he decided to skip school and go hang out at the drive in? Or maybe? Your child is not in class today. Parent How is your day going? Where did you get your nails done last night? Thanks! I am sure he is around , and I hope he shows up when I pick him up for school. Again someone was not doing their job and in this case it was about her kid.

[RIVERWIDOW]

Okay I have been reading everyones thoughts and have kind of laid back but now I am going to jump in with both feet. GG reacted the way any mother would. Scared sh*tless first and then pissed off second. Which is probably the same road I would have taken. What I am seeing here is a lot of people who don't have any compassion for the person who called . You know it could have been alot worse. At least she rectified her mistake while GG was still on the phone. Now let me give you some facts that have been woefully missing in this whole ordeal. The girl who called is a part time health aid. This
is a school that has gone from having 5 full time people working in the office
to having 2 FT and 1 PT. You can thank the budget cuts for this. The PT person is the one who called. She is ,as I said ,a HEALTH AIDE. She was trying to help because it was the first day of school and the office was packed. 1/4 of kindergarten parents waited until the first day of school to come into the office to register their kids. So in this miniscule office there people everywhere. She took the absence list that the TEACHER gave her and started calling about kids the TEACHER marked absent. I think the lesson here is more people need to learn about compassion and remembering no one is perfect. While I agree it was a bad mistake(it always is when kids are involved) this woman wasn't trying to cause anyone grief ,she was just trying to help. As they say "No good dead goes unpunished" End of sermon. Tyler is home ,GG isn't in jail and Bennigans has great food and great waiters to serve it! Lets party :cheers:

[smeakim]

The Health Aid took the brunt correct which is unfortunate but you are right it was about a kid. However, if we just always forgive and forget what prevents this from happening again. Yelling may have got the point across even if it is at the expense of a few hurt feelings. Those feelings will go away. It sucks that the budget is cut and it was great that she stepped up to help, but there is a hole in the process at that school. GG I think you should at least write the principal saying that you think the process needs a little work. Maybe you will save someone else the same grief. Maybe you will have changed the process so parents are notified sooner. Its great that eveything worked out, your not in jail, and you have money coming to you. :)

[Gothic Girl]

LOL Your last lines cracked me up RW!

[RIVERWIDOW]

Always glad to bring a little laughter to the plate! So I am going to Bennigans in the near future (gift cards rock!) PM me your hubbys name so I can look for him whenever we go. :munch: :cheers: :woohoo: (RW version of eat drink nd be Merry!)

[faither]

Unless you are going to walk the child in and sit him down knowing that he was there at that particular point your point is also null. Maybe he disappeared after lunch or during recess or whenever. Waiting 5.5 hours, causing a panic, and then going whoops we were wrong is just plain stupid. We are talking about a missing child here. What did they expect? Secretary calls parent. Did you know your son is not here? Parent Oh really? Maybe he decided to skip school and go hang out at the drive in? Or maybe? Your child is not in class today. Parent How is your day going? Where did you get your nails done last night? Thanks! I am sure he is around , and I hope he shows up when I pick him up for school. Again someone was not doing their job and in this case it was about her kid.

While I agree with your post in principle, that wasn't the situation and I believe my point not to be null but rather appropriate based on the circumstances as described.

GG wrote that her son was marked absent. Attendance is typically taken at the beginning of the day. If I walked my child to school and was then told that they were marked absent, I'd be pretty confident the staffer was mistaken.

I'm not saying that the reaction was "wrong" or any different than anyone else would have reacted. Upon further review by the replay official, though, I would have felt that my reaction was over the top and I'd have apologized. Nothing more, nothing less.

[MikeD]

There are some intelligent posts here, and some that...well, aren't so.

I'll let you figure out which are which.

Let the flaming begin.

[smeakim]

My entire argument is based on we allow people to always make excuses rather than face the music. Yes the health aid was the one who got the brunt. In my eyes, oh well. If other's don't agree with that, that is fine. I think when something is broke, which in this case it was the attendance process, you fix it. Things don't get fixed when we just say oh well.

However, I ademately disagree with calling someone's opinion unintelligent or wrong. Opinions are what they are. Lets leave it at that becuase its only going to get uglier from here. :)

[MikeD]

However, I ademately disagree with calling someone's opinion unintelligent or wrong. Opinions are what they are. Lets leave it at that becuase its only going to get uglier from here. :)

You are right, "intelligent" was a poor choice of words.

Despite my wanting to, it's probably not prudent to attempt to replace it with a better alternative. I think you're also correct in saying that we agree to disagree, and leave it at that.