Woman's Weight At Center Of Dating Controversy

[ialsohaveadream]

BOSTON -- A woman looking for love instead found what she called "pure discrimination" with a local dating service.

NewsCenter 5's Amalia Barreda reported Thursday that Roberta Traynor said that the service shut her out, sight unseen, when she revealed her weight. It may sound cold-hearted, but does the service have a right to refuse a client it doesn't think it can help?

"I still would like to meet someone," Traynor said.

Too busy to meet new people and tired of the bar scene, Traynor, 39, turned to LunchDates.com to meet someone. A personal chef by profession, Traynor, 5 feet 5 inches tall, checked off medium under "build" in the Web site's membership survey.

She said she told a LunchDates counselor in a phone interview she weighed a little less than 200 pounds.

"About a half-hour later, I got a call from her, and she said, 'I'm sorry. We can't help you because you're overweight.' Just like that. I think what really upset me is that it was done strictly by numbers," Traynor said.

"If she said she was overweight, she should not have said that if she did. And she should have said something in a more tasteful way," LunchDates co-founder Marty Sack said.

Sack co-founded LunchDates in 1982. He calls it a contemporary version of an old-fashioned matchmaker, with counselors bringing people together for lunch or drinks after work.

Traynor said that she liked the personal nature of it, adding there is nothing in its Web site about weight requirements.

"I really felt it was discrimination. I mean, what if I had one arm or one foot? Are they going to tell me they can't help me?" Traynor said.

"I just don't have the people for everybody. Whether it's age or body type, religion, hobbies, if someone asked us for something we can't do we try to be honest about it," Sack said.

"I know that there have to be men out there who aren't just looking for trophy brides. You know, little skinny girls who all wear size 3," Traynor said.

"Body type can be an issue with dating. I have no control over it. I can only be as honest, as courteous and as sincere with people as I possibly can. And I'm certainly going to spend more time with my staff about it," Sack said.
linked (http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news/5243889/detail.html)

[ialsohaveadream]

And just for good measure...

BOSTON -- Another woman has come forward saying LunchDates also passed her by, sight unseen, not because of her weight but because of her age.

NewsCenter 5's Amalia Barreda reported that Helen Long was feeling good about herself after finishing her first Ironman triathlon three years ago at the age of 40. A busy personal trainer looking to meet someone, long turned to LunchDates because of their claim to provide a personal touch.

She said that she indicated in their online survey she would be interested in dating men between the ages of 33 to 48. She said LunchDates called her back and told her she was being unrealistic about the age range.

"And he said, 'well, you know, you're 40.' And just the tone really put me off at first, and I said, 'I know I'm 40.' He said, 'There's no way I would have anyone in their 30s interested in meeting you.' I said, 'You haven't even met me. I find it hard to believe you could say that. You don't know much about me.' I started to say more, and he said, 'I don't care how good a shape you're in,'" Long said.

Long claims she tried to remain polite as the call deteriorated further and wound up in a hang up by Lunch Dates.

"And he immediately just responded, 'OK. Bye,' and hung up on me," Long said.

LunchDates co-founder Marty Sack would not agree to an on camera interview.

"I can't speak to something that may or may not have happened three years ago. We deal with the public a lot and anybody could say anything. All I can tell you is we train our staff to be sincere and honest and kind to people," Sack said in a phone interview.

Long's claims follow a story NewsCenter 5 featured Thursday. Roberta Traynor said that LunchDates told her they could not help her because she was overweight.

"Frankly, I couldn't help thinking that they wouldn't have been that rude to an overweight man who had called them. Or you know, a man my age who wanted to date 22-year-old they probably would have said, 'Sure. Come on in,'" Long said.
And your link for this one. (http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news/5252562/detail.html)

[johnnymk]

Well, there are a lot of dating services out there. And each one has decided what thier criteria is and whether they want to waste their time trying to match up Miss Right or Miss Wrong with someone else.

I know heavy guys who want not-so-heavy gals and older men who desire women a lot younger than them.

Double standard?..Yes, but when you're paying someone to match you up with your ideal partner, you can be as picky as you want. And so can the dating service.

So she should just try another dating service and see what happens. If they are all telling her the same thing, she will just have to try another method.

[ooBaKeep]

So she should just try another dating service and see what happens. If they are all telling her the same thing, she will just have to try another method.


It's unfortuante.. but yes, there are plenty of dating services many online or better yet start her own dating service for bigger men and woman.

[Airencracken]

http://www.ucmds.com/images/products/product_slimfast.jpg

[Grimm]

It's unfortuante.. but yes, there are plenty of dating services many online or better yet start her own dating service for bigger men and woman.
Unfortunately no one will use a service for overweight people. Even overweight people don't want to date overweight people.

This story is not newsworthy. Lunchdates is a private business, not a government agency. They can refuse service to a customer for any reason. Instead of leading her along for her money they just told her they couldn't help her. It may hurt, but it is true.

As for helping overweight men, well the reality of the situation is that many women will tollerate an older fat man if he has money.

[johnnymk]

As for helping overweight men, well the reality of the situation is that many women will tollerate an older fat man if he has money.

LOL...That's not a politically correct statement in today's world.

[MikeD]

As for helping overweight men, well the reality of the situation is that many women will tollerate a fat man if he has money.

:agree:, though I corrected that for ya. Removed "older".

:disa: Sad but true...

[sbp]

She is too busy to meet new people but wants love. Okayyy cause its not like time needs to be invested in building a solid relationship.

Bet ya she likely overstated her height and understated her weight. http://home.earthlink.net/~sbp777/smilies/bleh.gif
http://www.ucmds.com/images/products/product_slimfast.jpgSir: I am :disa: in you for suggesting such an insensitive thing. See...there we go again judging on external image. Why can't you see the inner beauty of the woman plus wanting to get out? And you probably thought she should go exercise too. As stated before she's too busy for that. Hey, why would you want a woman in semi-shape-especially at her age as the biological clock is ticking loudly. :eek: Have kids, shove them into daycare cause the job/career comes first. And don't you know she is big boned, medium build http://home.earthlink.net/~sbp777/smilies/confused7.gif which is why she checked off the form that way.

[MikeD]

Bet ya she overstated her height and understated her weight. http://home.earthlink.net/~sbp777/smilies/bleh.gif

"I'm 5'5", 198....err, I mean 5'1", 235."

:hehehmm:

They were definitely rude to her, but I don't see how this is newsworthy. Probably happens all the time. It's a by-product of our society, which is all about the external image.

[zenbooty]

It's a by-product of our society, which is all about the external image.No its not. Men and women have been choosing mates based on external image since the time when we were living in caves.

[ialsohaveadream]

This story is not newsworthy. Lunchdates is a private business, not a government agency. They can refuse service to a customer for any reason. Instead of leading her along for her money they just told her they couldn't help her. It may hurt, but it is true.
I wasn't implying anyone's rights were being violated, and I don't think even the overweight woman thought so. She just felt like she was given poor customer service...and I found the owner's name hilarious. :)

As for helping overweight men, well the reality of the situation is that many women will tollerate ANY man if he has money.
I know Mike took a shot correcting this, but I went ahead and perfected it for you.

[riskykougra]

Atleast they were honest with her and didnt leave her waiting for the "perfect" man to call when they knew they had no one for her. Ok maybe the person on the phone may have sounded rude but if you had to tell someone they were too large and you really didnt have anyone who would be interested in them...how would you make that sound polite. The person on the phone was probably very nervous and uncomfortable and maybe should of asked someone else to handle the situation. But Im just guessing cause it wasnt me who phoned her because I would of said what sbp said:hihi:

[nickel]

As for helping overweight men, well the reality of the situation is that many women will tollerate an older fat man if he has money.
you watch too many movies Grimm.

give me a poor, in shape, young, smart, nice looking guy over any fat old rich slug anyday.

[cadetevon]

you watch too many movies Grimm.

give me a poor, in shape, young, smart, nice looking guy over any fat old rich slug anyday.
And funny. Smart and funny is so hot. :naughty:

[esme]

give me an in shape, young, smart, nice looking guy over any fat old slug anyday.


:agree: ...... :heh:

[adjaw]

give me a poor, in shape, young, smart, nice looking guy over any fat old rich slug anyday.


:wavey: That's me!!!

[cadetevon]

:wavey: That's me!!!
Of course it is honey. :naughty: