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renots
09-14-2000, 05:31 PM
by a truely beautiful (http://www.midnightwriter.com/) friend of mine

Creativity

I called jesse. we were still at that point in the relationship when we could call on each other for help. When he arrived he looked upset. I put my arms around him. It was more than me and my car. He had bad news. My bass had been stolen. Along with the other instruments in his house last night. Luckily, most of the equipment was locked in the studio.

"It must have been someone I know," he said. No consolation there. Good musicians on the Reggae scene are not always ethical-thanks to crack. "I'll replace your bass with the insurance money." Then he handed me an opal that the thieves dropped when they emptied his dresser. "You might as well have this," he said,"It's the only thingthey left. And it's your birthday." Then he towed my car.

It wouldn't have been so bad except this was the 2nd engine I blew up. I was going on an engine a month.

Frankie's 'Ol Man said,"Tell Maggie I'm gonna buy her a bicycle- she'd have better luck."

Raven's 'Ol Man just kept fixin' my cars.

I analyzed it, concluding as Picasso had, every act of creation is an act of destruction. I create destructions so I create solutions. I may not be Van Gogh, but I'm demented and Marcel Proust would be proud of me.

It's like taking the name Maggie. It was a derogatory nickname, given to me by an ex-boyfriend from an old Rod Stewart song. The other girls took the chic names. It was like giving the wrong answer on a test so the rest of the class could have an advantage.

That, I found out, is not the object of the game. When I was in first grade I did that, wrote down the wrong anser to a simple arithmetic problem just to give the competition the edge. It takes a special kind of stupid. Or extreme faith in oneself. I'd like to think it's extreme faith. But now I think maybe I'm my own saboteur. Maybe it's time to stop messing around. Before I flunk Life.

~~~

In between wating for Slim to fix my car I got to know Raven's little girl, Melody. We climbed the fig tree or played Barbies while her dad worked on my car. She became my surrogate daughter. After I moved moved out from jesse she'd come over for the weekend and visit me while her mom went to see a friend in prison. We'd play music and dance in the mirror. Melody had 1/2 Indian blood. She danced at the Pow-Wow held every summer on the reservation. At my place she'd dress up in my clothes and twirl, giggling st her reflection. I'd tell her she was "really somthing". Special.

My studio apartment had just enough room for my easel, my amp and my bed. Everything else hung from the walls or ceilings. Melody looked around the place-to look around, all yuo had to do was turn around. To her it was creative.

She said,"Maggie, you live like this because you're an artist. Right?"

~~~

;0)

renots
09-14-2000, 07:08 PM
...and a bodacious Bust don't hurt either

;0}

renots
09-19-2000, 12:13 AM
how i wonder how you are
visions of apricots and ziggurauts
rain through my mind

the stillness felt
slipping fingers
through your auburn silk

is only matched
by the winter gail of sorrow
in your absence

M___

renots
09-19-2000, 02:24 AM
;0)

renots
11-07-2000, 03:46 AM
"i'm going to live through this, and when it's over, I'm never going to be hungry again."
~Scarlett O' Hara


He said, "Dancing at the theater is your choice." He believed the synopsis.

Choices, choices, choices. If I bought a gun men would dance. "My choice between what," I asked, "McDonald's?"

"You could work in a publishing house," he said. He confused me with his friend Sheila, who has a Stanford degree. I saw him as out of touch.

The following night I opened the mail, finding the usual rejection letters for my book. But one was a note from an agent, it was penned by hand.
It read simply: "Send the final chapter."

He had read the synopsis, and he too wanted to know what my choices were.

Sitting in the bathtub, waiting for everything to change with the dawn, I thought about it. The choices, and their relationships to power.[list=1]
I could throw myself in front of the BART train - total disempowerment/disembowelment.

I could work at McDonald's slingin' hash - A negative 10 on my power scale.

I could scrounge up correspondence jobs as a storyboard artist. Scrounge is the operative word.

I could strip - dominion over the stage is empowerment to the degree of being in love. Eventually though, I must find that power somewhere else; a power level ten times higher than doing storyboards.

Whatever I do, my life depends on how I see myself. Perception is reality.

The Book. Yeah, I can see stripping til I sell the book. Because I'm gonna sell it - if I have to go door to door! Ms Ella is about to rise from the cinders. Like a phoenix, under her own power. Maybe she's headed for trouble, having divulged secrets, torn the bandage off raw nerves, but since childhood she's wanted to violate gag orders and get at the truth. And the naked truth is you can find your power even butt naked. The book has been my life, my journey, it will be my transportation!
Into my future. Besides I won't - cannot - love another man until I recover myself. No one's ever gonna be able to strip me down to nothing again. This book will be read - if only for the fact that our society is fixated on nudity - it will be read and give hope to others that find themselves naked.
[/list=1]

"You know why?" I ask Richard, the man whose lap I'm sitting on in the audience. He remembers me from before.

"Because those rejection slips don't mean a damn thing to me - life's rejection. You go along asking people if they want you, and they say no, but I'm not deterred by rejection because if I've learned anything it's not to be fooled by appearances.

To the naked eye it may not look like you're gonna get a break one minute before it happens. But perception is much more than what's seen through the blindfold. It's your inner vision. Your creation.

The way I see it, sooner or later I'm going to have a twist of fate.

~~~

I miss U Shay

:0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
wearing nothin' is divine, Naked is a state of mind...

theHNIC
11-07-2000, 07:30 AM
This is the first one I have actually read, I usually save all the other ones.

Very interesting, maybe I will start reading for now on.

renots
11-18-2000, 04:44 AM
http://www.egroups.co.uk/attach/2930702/11/gs-293=07=2930702/10-1-4-103/image=jpeg/shay.jpg

Shay is so Cool!

;0)



[Edited by renots on 04-29-2001 at 12:42 AM]

renots
11-19-2000, 04:22 AM
despite what Amazon sez The Naked Eye is available within 1-2 weeks, not the 4-6 listed

;0)

renots
11-19-2000, 04:26 AM
Amazon link (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0965707202/qid%3D974636653/107-6468945-5472501)