Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars

renovation · 05-22-2008, 04:28 PM

Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways.

"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said.

"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.
"I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."

He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."

Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men.

But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.

As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.

Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses.

But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms.

His last relationship with a woman was 12 years ago - and he could not bring himself to consummate it, although he did have sex with girls in his younger days.

Mr Smith, from Washington state in the US, kept quiet about his secret fetish for years, but agreed to be interviewed as part of a channel Five documentary into “mechaphilia”. He is shown meeting other enthusiasts at a rally in California

Talking about how his unusual passion developed, Mr Smith said: "It's something that grew as a part of me when I was a kid and I could not shake it.

"I just loved cute cars right from the beginning, but over the years it got stronger once I got into my teenage years and was my first having sexual urges.

"When I turned 13 and the famous Corvette Stingray came about, that car was pure sex and just an incredible machine. I wanted it.

"I didn't fully understand it myself except that I know I'm not hurting anyone and I do not intend to."

He added: "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving.

"There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them.

"As far as women go, they never really interested me much. And I'm not gay.”

Mr Smith is now part of a global community of more than 500 “car lovers” brought together by internet forums.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...,000-cars.html

were is DR Auto .PHD. of philology this guy is in need of your professional help

i wonder if his cars run and get better MPG with his personal additives

.

uncledaddy · 05-22-2008, 09:43 PM

Nasty!

Thesifer · 05-22-2008, 10:28 PM

I don't really want to ask.. but I just don't get it. I mean does he use the tailpipe or the gastank or is it all purely imagination or what? maybe I don't want to know.

Daedalus · 05-23-2008, 12:07 AM

And I thought I was a "car guy." I can't believe there's some guy running around who can actually say "I doinked Airwolf."

mojo · 05-23-2008, 12:20 AM

what's he use for protection, simonize or turtle wax?

DarkFury · 05-23-2008, 07:49 AM

I hear an R. Kelly song coming on...

<R. Kelly>

You remind me of my Jeep... You remind me of my car...

</ R. Kelly>

Prngr44 · 05-23-2008, 12:33 PM

Extremely bizarre.

The Happy Squirrel · 05-23-2008, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thesifer

I don't really want to ask.. but I just don't get it. I mean does he use the tailpipe or the gastank or is it all purely imagination or what? maybe I don't want to know.

i was wondering the same thing but not sure i would like to know

Prngr44 · 05-23-2008, 01:33 PM

I wonder if he gets up on the windshield and sprays washer fluid all over himself.

Thesifer · 05-23-2008, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prngr44

I wonder if he gets up on the windshield and sprays washer fluid all over himself.

Or all over the window..

lindysd · 05-23-2008, 05:30 PM

"...part of a global community of more than 500 “car lovers” brought together by internet forums. "

How does one start that thread? An entire community of "car lovers"? What the .....!

DarkFury · 05-23-2008, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thesifer

I don't really want to ask.. but I just don't get it. I mean does he use the tailpipe or the gastank or is it all purely imagination or what? maybe I don't want to know.

Whichever the case, I'm sure that there are some "non OEM approved additives" going somewhere...

Seriously, there are some wacked out people out there... I just better not catch this mofo huggin' up my car in the parking lot of Wal Mart or something.

Markel · 05-23-2008, 09:24 PM

I guess this site doesn't really qualify in the same way....

nate el bueno · 05-30-2008, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Markel

I guess this site doesn't really qualify in the same way....

glad to know my dad finds these sites in his spare time

ShawnLee · 05-30-2008, 09:14 PM

Welcome to the wonderful world of the internet, Nate.

Markel · 05-30-2008, 09:44 PM

I forgot where I saw that site linked (maybe on some blog), but this thread made me think about it (and the name "I humped your Hummer" is pretty easy to remember).

DarkFury · 05-31-2008, 01:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShawnLee

Welcome to the wonderful world of the internet, Nate.

I've always found some of the stuff your Dad says here as "suspect"... This revelation is just evidence for the future trial in the public opinon.

05-22-2008, 04:28 PM	#1
renovation Admiral Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: You could pick up Lindsay Lohan for less than a intel 990x, and still have money left over to bail her outta jail Posts: 5,029	Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways. "I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said. "Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful. "I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change." He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference." Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men. But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf. As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger. Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses. But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms. His last relationship with a woman was 12 years ago - and he could not bring himself to consummate it, although he did have sex with girls in his younger days. Mr Smith, from Washington state in the US, kept quiet about his secret fetish for years, but agreed to be interviewed as part of a channel Five documentary into “mechaphilia”. He is shown meeting other enthusiasts at a rally in California Talking about how his unusual passion developed, Mr Smith said: "It's something that grew as a part of me when I was a kid and I could not shake it. "I just loved cute cars right from the beginning, but over the years it got stronger once I got into my teenage years and was my first having sexual urges. "When I turned 13 and the famous Corvette Stingray came about, that car was pure sex and just an incredible machine. I wanted it. "I didn't fully understand it myself except that I know I'm not hurting anyone and I do not intend to." He added: "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving. "There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them. "As far as women go, they never really interested me much. And I'm not gay.” Mr Smith is now part of a global community of more than 500 “car lovers” brought together by internet forums. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...,000-cars.html were is DR Auto .PHD. of philology this guy is in need of your professional help i wonder if his cars run and get better MPG with his personal additives . __________________ You could pick up Lindsay Lohan for less than a intel 990x, and still have money left over to bail her outta jail Last edited by renovation : 05-22-2008 at 04:31 PM.

05-22-2008, 09:43 PM	#2
uncledaddy Rear Admiral Lower Half Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: With Me, Myself, and I...wondering why we can't get along! Posts: 2,583	Nasty! __________________

05-22-2008, 10:28 PM	#3
Thesifer Vice Admiral Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 4,338	I don't really want to ask.. but I just don't get it. I mean does he use the tailpipe or the gastank or is it all purely imagination or what? maybe I don't want to know. __________________

05-23-2008, 12:20 AM	#5
mojo Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: about 15 min away Posts: 8,165	what's he use for protection, simonize or turtle wax? __________________ say "hi" to lumbergh for me

05-23-2008, 07:49 AM	#6
DarkFury Secretary of the Navy Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Chillin' N Da 'Hood Posts: 34,997	I hear an R. Kelly song coming on... <R. Kelly> You remind me of my Jeep... You remind me of my car... </ R. Kelly> __________________ DarkFury's Pimptopia - Don't Hate the Playa, Hate the Game! Home of the Original OG Pimp (accept NO imitations)

05-23-2008, 12:07 AM	#4
Daedalus Lieutenant Commander Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 824	And I thought I was a "car guy." I can't believe there's some guy running around who can actually say "I doinked Airwolf."

05-23-2008, 12:33 PM	#7
Prngr44 Rear Admiral Lower Half Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: St. Louis Posts: 2,620	Extremely bizarre. __________________ http://otthouse.blogspot.com

05-23-2008, 01:33 PM	#9
Prngr44 Rear Admiral Lower Half Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: St. Louis Posts: 2,620	I wonder if he gets up on the windshield and sprays washer fluid all over himself.

05-23-2008, 05:30 PM	#11
lindysd Lieutenant Junior Grade Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 121	"...part of a global community of more than 500 “car lovers” brought together by internet forums. " How does one start that thread? An entire community of "car lovers"? What the .....! __________________

05-23-2008, 09:24 PM	#13
Markel Chief of Naval Operations Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 11,733	I guess this site doesn't really qualify in the same way.... __________________ stay low... keep moving...

05-30-2008, 09:44 PM	#16
Markel Chief of Naval Operations Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 11,733	I forgot where I saw that site linked (maybe on some blog), but this thread made me think about it (and the name "I humped your Hummer" is pretty easy to remember).

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