03-21-2003, 01:19 AM
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#1 |
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Fleet Admiral
  
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: I am here, so there I am.
Posts: 8,027
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And how do you get out of a speeding ticket?
A Woman Gets Pulled Over by a Police Officer and....
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Woman: I can't do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Woman: Bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding too. |
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03-21-2003, 02:01 AM
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#2 |
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Chief of Naval Operations
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Posts: 11,037
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OBG
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03-21-2003, 07:13 AM
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#3 |
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What's Da Pho*?
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: SoCal (714)
Posts: 13,296
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SEen that before but I doubt it will work!
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03-21-2003, 11:10 AM
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Lieutenant Commander
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Oregon
Posts: 581
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Someone should try it out and get back to us.
 ...errr is there internet access in prison? Last edited by Fas-ligand : 03-22-2003 at 09:22 AM. |
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03-21-2003, 04:54 PM
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#5 | |
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Fleet Admiral
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: I am here, so there I am.
Posts: 8,027
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Quote:
No, but there are conjugal visits. Just make sure to kick someone's ass the first day or you will become someone's bitch.  Last edited by Speedfreak : 03-23-2003 at 01:23 AM. |
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03-22-2003, 07:25 AM
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#6 | |
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What's Da Pho*?
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: SoCal (714)
Posts: 13,296
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Quote:
__________________
Dell Dimension 9200 | Intel Core 2 Quad Q6600 (2.4GHz) | 4x1GB DDR2 | 256MB nVidia GeForce 8800GT Dell Studio 17 | Intel Core i7-720QM (1.6GHz) | 2x2GB DDR3 1066MHz | 1GHz ATI Mobility Radeon HD 4650 Intel P4-C 3.0GHz | ECS 865PE-A | 3x512MB PC3200 | 128MB PNY GeForce 6600GT 
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03-22-2003, 03:52 PM
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#7 |
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Lieutenant Commander
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: 718
Posts: 701
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ahahh this story reminds me of when i got a speeding ticket and had to goto court. when i was in the court room waiting to be heard, there was this lady that got a speeding ticket too. she was trying to convince the judge that she wasnt the type that would speed. ahhaha she brung to court a letter that her 6yr old daughter wrote saying that "my mommy iznt a pewrson dat wood speed". lady spent ½ an hour trying to convince the judge. finally the judge gave her the ticket. just goes to show you know desperate ppl are. btw i didnt pay the speeding ticket cause the officer was an idiot. the end
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