Morford hates the new CXT (of course!)

zenbooty · 09-22-2004, 11:06 AM

http://www.sfgate.com/columnists/morford/

Kiss My Megatruck, Dude
When the world is in perfect, ultra-macho harmony, you get a 9-foot-tall, 14,500-pound SUV

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aww, screw it. I mean, really. You just gotta love this thing.
You just gotta love the fact that some semitruck company somewhere called International Truck and Engine Corp. is now coming out with what they claim is the world's largest production pickup, called the CXT, all 9 feet high and 8 feet wide, a whopping 21 feet long and 14,500 pounds and 18 million excruciating earthly groans of it.

And in most states that don't give a crap for their roads or the environment or any human life that might be existing in the various passenger cars surrounding it, you don't need a commercial truck license to own or drive the CXT, a vehicle that makes the Hummer H2 look like a Honda Civic and that makes all the manly thick-necked boys go, ooohhhyeessss, and that the company itself claims, oh so tellingly, will absolutely guarantee your title of "king of the dirt pile."

See, there is this point. There is this point where it all becomes just beyond silly and absurd and surreal. There is this threshold you reach where you finally just have to toss in the moral and spiritual and intellectual and commonsensical towel and just laugh out loud and shake your head and sigh and then run off to the woods with a bottle of fine sake and the collected Coltrane. This is what you have to do. Especially when faced with such wicked absurdities as, say, Kraft Lunchables. Or John Ashcroft. Or Dr. Phil. Or the CXT.

And, for a brief, shining moment, I had thought the cute little Hummer H2 had this particular point of macho absurdity nailed -- defined it, owned it, sneered at it and ran over it 200 times with its big crushing 22-inch monster rims and said ha ha ha, I am the one, beeyatch, no vehicle is sillier and no vehicle is more moronic and no vehicle is more perfectly representative of the aggro-macho-gluttonous attitude of America and no vehicle better symbolizes our childish and cartoonish and ultimately sad stance toward how we treat the planet and how we view ourselves and our role in the world.

Not anymore. The CXT makes the Hummer whimper and cower and suck its thumb. The CXT is by far the biggest baddest dumbest production pickup in American history, and no one is even trying to debate that fact, no one even coming anywhere near defending the thing as anything other than every monosyllabic frat boy's wettest of wet automotive dreams because even the most die-hard knobby-brained SUV fanatic takes one look at the CXT and goes, holy crap, that thing is sort of, you know, ridiculous. But in a really badass sort of way.

Oh sure, the company says the CXT is a "severe" truck for "professional" use. Oh sure, they say it will be sold mostly to hardcore contractors and landscapers and boat racers and people with massive amounts of nonarable acreage that needs to have 200,000 pounds of rocks hauled across it on a daily basis. It doesn't matter.

Because this ain't simply a work truck. It's also designed for the "discriminating" blue-collar redneck with $115,000 to spare, given how you can order the CXT with every imaginable luxury; there's even a "customized black International CXT with ghosted green flames that has a leather interior with wood-grain trim, reclining captain chairs, a fold-down bench that can be used as a bed, an overhead compartment with drop-down DVD, an XM satellite premium radio system and a rear-mounted camera." I mean, how cool is that? Answer: totally mega manly cool. Dude.

After all, this is the BushCo era, baby. This country is all about excess and earthly abuse and Texas-sized faux machismo masquerading as true patriotism. Why even try to hide your gluttony anymore? Be proud of it, says the GOP -- er, the CXT. Get yourself a monster truck and ride around in towering titanic style and protect the crumbling lie of what makes America strong, because it sure as hell ain't our amazing religious diversity and it ain't affirmative action or intelligent diplomacy or deep respect for our allies and it sure as hell ain't same-sex marriage or feminine energy or spiritual openness or pathetic little hybrid cars, you liberal twit.

It's Rambo, baby. It's 7 miles per gallon of diesel, downhill. It's monster pickup trucks the size of a large studio apartment.

So then. Let's do it. Let's just get it over with. Let's all get a CXT. I mean, what the hell, right? Let's just give in and stomp around like we own the goddamn place and burn up all the remaining oil a fast as possible, maul the roads and gag the air and wipe out all those silly Priuses and Mini Coopers and all those annoying gnatlike bicycles once and for all.

It will just be, after all, so much fun, until the hurricanes strike and the earthquakes rumble and the exhausted Earth finally shudders and recoils and opens up wide and swallows us whole.

But you'll be OK. You'll be safely ensconced in your CXT, loving the fact that in Hell, it's all "off road."

ski · 09-22-2004, 11:16 AM

(in before the move to Automotive forum

)

(also, repost

) http://www.gotapex.com/forums/showthread.php?t=78961 (Your H2 not big enough? Get yourself International's CXT)

Interesting format of the new article though

cheapie · 09-22-2004, 12:08 PM

i like how he manages to rip on bush and the gop also. that's a nice touch.

faither · 09-22-2004, 12:16 PM

You can't igmore talent...Morford has raised it to an art form.

blueindian · 09-22-2004, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheapie

i like how he manages to rip on bush and the gop also. that's a nice touch.

can you blame him? under bush you get a 100k tax break for purchasing this truck.

note: i didn't read the article.

cheapie · 09-22-2004, 01:21 PM

sigh...yeah. i CAN blame him. that is a tax loophole that was intended to spur the purchase of agricultural vehicles but was instead used by SUV-happy people. you can only deduct if if you are a small business.

Quote:

The U.S. government provides tax credits for many purposes to promote consumer behavior that benefits the greater good. Originally, the SUV credit was intended to apply to light trucks and was added so the purchase of work vehicles used by farmers and businesses that need trucks or vans to do their work (i.e., construction companies) would not be treated the same as the purchase of luxury cars. While purchases of new luxury cars are subject to a luxury-tax surcharge, the same treatment is not given to purchases of luxury passenger SUVs that weigh 6,000 pounds or more, simply because they are defined under the tax code as light trucks.

The tax code defines industrial vehicles by weight instead of function. he parameter that the vehicle must be over 6,000 pounds fits the original intent of the legislation to help small family farmers. However, the SUV market has outgrown the original intent of this provision. Currently, there are 38 different luxury passenger SUVs including the Lincoln Navigator, Cadillac Escalade, and the new Hummer H2, which weigh more than 6,000 pounds and therefore qualify for this large deduction.2

The Bush administration's economic stimulus package may allow small business owners to take an even bigger tax deduction when they purchase the largest sport utility vehicles. By raising the cap on tax deductions for heavy equipment from $25,000 to $75,000, the Bush plan offers purchasers of luxury SUV passenger vehicles a much larger tax break than that received by purchasers of most other vehicles.

The President has stated that his tax cut aims to make it easier for small businesses like farms and construction companies to invest in industrial vehicles like tractors and trucks.3 The administration argues that the small business tax breaks will increase investment, and thereby help to stimulate the economy. Historically, the government has placed a cap and set a depreciation schedule for the amount a business can deduct for the purchase of an automobile. The Internal Revenue Code has differentiated between vehicles less than 6,000 pounds and heavier trucks and vans, allowing the heavier vehicles accelerated depreciation schedules under Section 179.4

In 2003, the tax code would allow a business to deduct $25,000 in the first year of purchase of one of these heavy trucks or vans plus

a set five-year depreciation schedule. In the March 2002 economic stimulus package, Congress created a 30% bonus deduction that businesses can utilize in the first year on top of the original $25,000 and the set five-year depreciation. 5 Under this plan, if a business bought a $55,000 Hummer H2 in 2003, they can deduct a total of $38,200 in just the first year.

The newly proposed economic stimulus plan makes the purchase of a heavy SUV even more lucrative. His plan raises the deduction cap to $75,000 for small businesses, while retaining all other aspects of the old tax cut. This will make any luxury vehicles priced under $75,000 completely deductible in the first year, while making a $106,000 Hummer H1 a ridiculous value. Under this plan, small businesses would be able to deduct up to $88,000 of a Hummer H1 in the first year.

blueindian · 09-22-2004, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheapie

it's not bush's law any more than it's clinton's h2 since it was developed while he was president.

are you serious? those two thoughts are not even in the same ballpark.

cheapie · 09-22-2004, 01:26 PM

don't get me wrong, i'm not a fan of the loophole. it need to be closed because it's costing US taxpayers millions of $$$.

blueindian · 09-22-2004, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheapie

don't get me wrong, i'm not a fan of the loophole. it need to be closed because it's costing US taxpayers millions of $$$.

i'm not talking about whether or not you like it, i'm talking about whether on not it "belongs" to bush and the GOP?

how hard would it have been to put in "must be used in an agricultural capacity".

hell, it cost's $49 in north carolina to be a small business.

cheapie · 09-22-2004, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueindian

are you serious? those two thoughts are not even in the same ballpark.

well...i just did some quick research and it turns out the loophole was an unintended consequence of his economic stimulus package. guess i was a little jumpy since everything from cancer deaths to the disappearance of full service gas stations is being blamed on bush.

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueindian

i'm not talking about whether or not you like it, i'm talking about whether on not it "belongs" to bush and the GOP?

how hard would it have been to put in "must be used in an agricultural capacity".

hell, it cost's $49 in north carolina to be a small business.

my "don't get me wrong" comment was supposed to be attached to the article, not a response to your question re: my seriousness.

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueindian

i'm not talking about whether or not you like it, i'm talking about whether on not it "belongs" to bush and the GOP?

how hard would it have been to put in "must be used in an agricultural capacity".

hell, it cost's $49 in north carolina to be a small business.

well...according to official docs, it was supposed to stimulate both agriculture and other small business. they should put a clause in it that says, if you are wearing a suit, carrying anyone under 16yo, or playing a disney dvd in the vehicle, you can't deduct it. and if you haven't put any scratches on it w/in 6 months, aside from scraping past normal-sized vehicles at starbucks, you don't get the deduction.

blueindian · 09-22-2004, 01:47 PM

DankNstickY · 09-22-2004, 02:50 PM

yes yes... those pics are all in the automotive forum thread, but with all this bush talk, i think gam's having a hard time choosing whether to move to auto or politics

cheapie · 09-23-2004, 08:19 AM

how about we start asking where we can find a good deal on one and get it moved to need deals? lol

09-22-2004, 11:06 AM	#1
zenbooty Admiral Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Prime Material Plane Posts: 7,486	Morford hates the new CXT (of course!) http://www.sfgate.com/columnists/morford/ Kiss My Megatruck, Dude When the world is in perfect, ultra-macho harmony, you get a 9-foot-tall, 14,500-pound SUV By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist Wednesday, September 22, 2004 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Aww, screw it. I mean, really. You just gotta love this thing. You just gotta love the fact that some semitruck company somewhere called International Truck and Engine Corp. is now coming out with what they claim is the world's largest production pickup, called the CXT, all 9 feet high and 8 feet wide, a whopping 21 feet long and 14,500 pounds and 18 million excruciating earthly groans of it. And in most states that don't give a crap for their roads or the environment or any human life that might be existing in the various passenger cars surrounding it, you don't need a commercial truck license to own or drive the CXT, a vehicle that makes the Hummer H2 look like a Honda Civic and that makes all the manly thick-necked boys go, ooohhhyeessss, and that the company itself claims, oh so tellingly, will absolutely guarantee your title of "king of the dirt pile." See, there is this point. There is this point where it all becomes just beyond silly and absurd and surreal. There is this threshold you reach where you finally just have to toss in the moral and spiritual and intellectual and commonsensical towel and just laugh out loud and shake your head and sigh and then run off to the woods with a bottle of fine sake and the collected Coltrane. This is what you have to do. Especially when faced with such wicked absurdities as, say, Kraft Lunchables. Or John Ashcroft. Or Dr. Phil. Or the CXT. And, for a brief, shining moment, I had thought the cute little Hummer H2 had this particular point of macho absurdity nailed -- defined it, owned it, sneered at it and ran over it 200 times with its big crushing 22-inch monster rims and said ha ha ha, I am the one, beeyatch, no vehicle is sillier and no vehicle is more moronic and no vehicle is more perfectly representative of the aggro-macho-gluttonous attitude of America and no vehicle better symbolizes our childish and cartoonish and ultimately sad stance toward how we treat the planet and how we view ourselves and our role in the world. Not anymore. The CXT makes the Hummer whimper and cower and suck its thumb. The CXT is by far the biggest baddest dumbest production pickup in American history, and no one is even trying to debate that fact, no one even coming anywhere near defending the thing as anything other than every monosyllabic frat boy's wettest of wet automotive dreams because even the most die-hard knobby-brained SUV fanatic takes one look at the CXT and goes, holy crap, that thing is sort of, you know, ridiculous. But in a really badass sort of way. Oh sure, the company says the CXT is a "severe" truck for "professional" use. Oh sure, they say it will be sold mostly to hardcore contractors and landscapers and boat racers and people with massive amounts of nonarable acreage that needs to have 200,000 pounds of rocks hauled across it on a daily basis. It doesn't matter. Because this ain't simply a work truck. It's also designed for the "discriminating" blue-collar redneck with $115,000 to spare, given how you can order the CXT with every imaginable luxury; there's even a "customized black International CXT with ghosted green flames that has a leather interior with wood-grain trim, reclining captain chairs, a fold-down bench that can be used as a bed, an overhead compartment with drop-down DVD, an XM satellite premium radio system and a rear-mounted camera." I mean, how cool is that? Answer: totally mega manly cool. Dude. After all, this is the BushCo era, baby. This country is all about excess and earthly abuse and Texas-sized faux machismo masquerading as true patriotism. Why even try to hide your gluttony anymore? Be proud of it, says the GOP -- er, the CXT. Get yourself a monster truck and ride around in towering titanic style and protect the crumbling lie of what makes America strong, because it sure as hell ain't our amazing religious diversity and it ain't affirmative action or intelligent diplomacy or deep respect for our allies and it sure as hell ain't same-sex marriage or feminine energy or spiritual openness or pathetic little hybrid cars, you liberal twit. It's Rambo, baby. It's 7 miles per gallon of diesel, downhill. It's monster pickup trucks the size of a large studio apartment. So then. Let's do it. Let's just get it over with. Let's all get a CXT. I mean, what the hell, right? Let's just give in and stomp around like we own the goddamn place and burn up all the remaining oil a fast as possible, maul the roads and gag the air and wipe out all those silly Priuses and Mini Coopers and all those annoying gnatlike bicycles once and for all. It will just be, after all, so much fun, until the hurricanes strike and the earthquakes rumble and the exhausted Earth finally shudders and recoils and opens up wide and swallows us whole. But you'll be OK. You'll be safely ensconced in your CXT, loving the fact that in Hell, it's all "off road." __________________ Common sense is what tells you the Earth is flat.

09-22-2004, 11:16 AM	#2
ski Admiral Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Utah Posts: 5,420	(in before the move to Automotive forum ) (also, repost ) http://www.gotapex.com/forums/showthread.php?t=78961 (Your H2 not big enough? Get yourself International's CXT) Interesting format of the new article though __________________ And closer...

09-22-2004, 12:08 PM	#3
cheapie Chief of Naval Operations Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: raising my pimp hand strong Posts: 13,038	i like how he manages to rip on bush and the gop also. that's a nice touch. __________________ 70% of the world is covered by water. The rest is covered by Bob Sanders

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09-22-2004, 12:16 PM	#4
faither Rear Admiral Upper Half Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: FL Posts: 3,240	You can't igmore talent...Morford has raised it to an art form.

09-22-2004, 01:26 PM	#8
cheapie Chief of Naval Operations Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: raising my pimp hand strong Posts: 13,038	don't get me wrong, i'm not a fan of the loophole. it need to be closed because it's costing US taxpayers millions of $$$.

09-22-2004, 01:47 PM	#11
blueindian Vice Admiral Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: down in the ghetto Posts: 4,142

09-23-2004, 08:19 AM	#13
cheapie Chief of Naval Operations Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: raising my pimp hand strong Posts: 13,038	how about we start asking where we can find a good deal on one and get it moved to need deals? lol

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