RoniMan

the evil linky

Toaster From Hell!
Tuesday April 6, 2004



Housewife Hester Alliser is convinced that the $5 toaster she picked up at a yard sale is possessed -- because every slice bears an image of Satan's evil face.

"No matter how much toast I make or how long I heat it, the Devil turns up on every piece," the 36-year-old mother of three told reporters in Kansas City, Mo.

"Rye is the worst, but the face also appears on white and whole wheat.

"My kids have stopped eating anything toasted and they used to beg for it all the time. My husband still eats a few slices of toast for breakfast with his ham and eggs, but he cooks it on a rack in the oven."

Alliser says she bought the old chrome-plated appliance at a yard sale in Kansas City -- but, oddly enough, she can't remember the exact location.

In fact, she begins to pace and wring her hands just thinking about it because, as she puts it, "It's like what happens when you fall off a ladder and get amnesia -- my memories of that day are hazy.

"I do recall that the people at the yard sale were strange, and the man I bought it from had weird eyes, kind of green and strange looking. The day after I got the toaster home it was still in my car because I didn't even remember buying it.

"I asked my husband where it came from and he said, 'Don't you remember? You told me you picked it up at a yard sale."

Alliser says she took the toaster into her house and plugged it in to see if it worked. And the toast that popped out, though not overcooked, "was smoking like crazy -- and there were wicked faces with horns on both slices.

"But I was more concerned with the face. I kept thinking, 'That's really strange -- it looks like the Devil.' Then I popped in another two slices and the same thing happened. So I racked my brain to figure out why and decided that it must be some sort of 'novelty toaster' or something.

"I was thinking maybe it was designed to do it." In fact, a spokesman for the Korean firm that manufactured the toaster in 1982 says the toaster isn't designed to do anything "but make regular toast. There's nothing evil about it."

And even though the only bad thing to happen to the family since Alliser bought the toaster is that a tree limb fell on their house and ripped off a rain gutter, they fear that the toaster may bring them serious trouble if they keep it around much longer.

"I told Hester to get rid of it but she's a pack rat and she doesn't want to throw it away or donate it to the Salvation Army," says hubby Bob Alliser, 34.

"She'll give it away to an individual if we can find somebody to take it, because she grew up very poor and in her mind that's different than throwing it away or dumping it at a thrift shop."

Even while the family looks for "a new home" for the possessed appliance, Alliser is still keeping it in her kitchen. And she still makes at least two pieces of toast in it every day "just to check."

"I'm hoping maybe the Devil will leave the toaster so we can start using it and get on with our lives," she says. "My friends think I'm stupid and they say they'd throw it away so fast my head would spin.

"But I'm not taking chances -- I keep a little pocket Bible right beside it on the kitchen counter. Satan might be evil, but he's no match for God. Sure, he might burn my toast.

"But that's all he's going to do. I'm sure of that."

bachviet

She should try to toast the Bible so it could battle with the Devil.

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Jenny

well what the hell? (heh play on words. anyway)

Where are the pictures?? lol

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