stupidzbu

*might be a false story.. but all too real*

When I was in high school ('78-'82), we were a pretty nasty buncha degenerates. Our high school had no sports teams (lack of interest, violent tendencies) and we had no extracurricular clubs or activities (lack of interest, violent tendencies). The only formal social activity was hazing the freshman. Unlike the overt, institutionalized hazing shown in films like _Dazed and Confused_, our Rites of Passage were more discreet and insidious. Freshman boys had to appease the seniors by providing free marijuana or suffer clandestine beatings and humiliation. For the most part, "cool" freshman like me avoided the worst of the senior onslaught.

I had long hair, access to marijuana, and enough brains to know when to avoid contact with seniors. Not all freshman were that lucky. Two of them, in particular, were singled out for special treatment. One was Billy Hanes, an ineffectual mama's boy who did not survive past his sophomore year. He was yanked from the school when it seemed the entire school body was bent on his destruction. The other boy, John Downie, was a fat, stupid dork who tried incessantly to "be part of the gang". His dismal failure to do so resulted in four long years of torture. First, as a freshman, the seniors routinely beat him and humiliated him by dunking him in the birdbath (a circular wash basin), shoving him into lockers, stripping his clothes and snapping his ass with his own pants, and pummeling him mercilessly with snowballs. When Downie became a sophomore, he thought he was home free. Instead, his own class continued the torture where the seniors had left off. We taunted, teased, beat and humiliated him on a daily basis.

One day, during a barrage of snowballs, Downie made a break for his mother's car. I launched a nice high ice-ball, which soared into the open door of the car and nailed his *mother* right in the face. She screamed in agony. Downie plodded into the car and they sped off. Even after this humiliation, Downie returned to school. Loathesome, witless, friendless and awkward, he stumbled on, trying his best to demonstrate that he could hang with the Bad Boys. One day, he went to the back of his school bus and produced what he claimed was hashish that he was willing to smoke with his fellow burnouts. Upon inspection, it was determined that Downie's hash was indeed a clod of dirt. He was summarily beaten, flogged and ejected out the rear emergency exit of the bus. Yet still he persisted. He made it to senior year alive, but the punishments continued. As the class electronic expert, I had rigged the PA system so I could listen to rooms surreptitiously, as well as make announcement to specific classrooms (all from the main office, where I was interning as the electronic wiz). After my usual monitoring of the girls' locker room, I called down to welding class and announced "John Downie to the office.

John Downie, please report to Mr. Popiak's office". Realizing that John would actually show up, even though I used a silly voice, I waited for Downie in the hall. He showed up, and I told him to go back to class. He refused. "Mr. Popiak wants to see me. You're getting me in trouble. I'm going in!". "No Downie, ya stupid ****, it was me! It was just a joke! Go back to class!" "No way, man," said the corpulent nincompoop, "I can't risk it. And you're a liar anyway!" That was it. I had a cushy gig to protect. I grabbed Downie by the lapels and violently slammed him into a locker. "Go back to welding, ya dumb ****!" I snarled through clenched teeth. He began to whine and blubber, so I smacked him across the face. "Go back!" In a crying fit, he stumbled back to class, much to my relief. That was my last contact with Downie before graduation. But I can assure you that he suffered similar pains from many others before escaping high school with his D average diploma.

After graduation, I joined the US Navy. Military life, I soon disacovered, was not for me. Within two years I was back on the streets of Jersey, selling pot and working as a cable-TV guy. Downie worked odd jobs on the north side of town. I heard stories of his continued wussiness, but I never really saw him much. Apparently, Downie's older brother got into the habit of selling cocaine. He told John that some gas station attendant owed him $100, and that he was late in paying. Though his brother never asked Downie to intervene, Downie decided it was time to get tough and dish out some of the abuse he had absorbed lo those many years. He walked up to the gas station, and inquired the attendant about the $100. The gas guy refused to pay. So Downie produced a .38 revolver and shot the teenager right in the heart, killing him almost instantly. An off-duty city detective heard the shot, and ran to the scene.

He saw Downie escaping into some woods, and called out for him to stop. Instead of stopping, Downie squeezed off several rounds at the cop, who quickly returned fire. The cop had missed, but he called for back-up and chased Downie into the woods. The cop found one of Downie's shoes, but could find no fat boy in the woods. Back-up arrived, and the cops began a house-to-house search of the area. When they got to Downie's parents' house, they found several dollar bills scattered on the lawn. They surrounded the place, and knocked on the door. Downie surrendered with little resistance.

The case went to trial, and Downie was convicted of 1st degree aggravated murder, and was sentenced to die by lethal injection. (It's worth noting that a few of my classmates attended the trial, waving "Fry Downie!" placards in front of the court house. Now *that's* what I call "school spirit"!!!) Downie, just 19 years old, still fat and still stupid, was sent to Death Row at the infamous Rahway state prison in New Jersey. (Ever seen "Scared Straight"? That's the place....) After several years of appeals, Downie was taken off Death Row and given life with no possibility of parole. To this day, his ample white butt services the needs of dozens of horny black inmates. What's my point, you ask?

The point is that smart folks can indeed commit murder and get away with it. I had no intention of killing that gas station attendant, but my actions did indirectly influence the chain of events which led to the boy's death, and Downie's subsequent imprisonment. Most people would feel remorse about this, but since I've suffered from some beatings and humiliation myself, yet never killed anyone, I feel neither guilt nor a compunction to help foster a world where this kind of thing won't happen again. Call me a bastard, call me a bitch.

At least I can smile as I write this. - Citizen Ted - still one helluva nice guy.

stupidzbu

here is the link to the story with some email addys


http://www.aracnet.com/~jaydog/1998a...en_to_kill.txt

dated 1998

poiselle

Interesting story but I don't believe it. I think that NJ has Death Row in Trenton and not Rahway. Small detail but the story just sounds too much like a fable. NJ established the death penalty in 1982 and there are only 18 people on death row now. I also believe that life without the possibility of parole was a fairly recent addition to NJ penal law (2000).

sho.gun

I think that story was really sad. The whole freshmen hazing stuff that goes on in schools is totally out of control as it leads people that aren't ready or willing to join society to resort to such actions as school shootings, bombings, etc etc. We must keep in mind that kids are raised differently, they have different personalities, and each one of those kids should be allowed their space, their right to be able to be themselves. As for Downie, he tried to join the wrong crowd, knew it, but continued to do this anyway. You'd think he'd learn after a couple of beatings, but he didn't. Even though this was back at the 70's, this stuff still happens nowadays (columbine, diego, and on). I just graduated out of high school 3 months ago from a small private high school, about 120 kids total. Even at that school hazing still occurs, not often but it has happened. I just get really pissed off when I see an upperclassman picking on a freshman, I mean, why? What is the reason? Is it to make oneself feel more superior? to humiliate the little ones? When I was in my freshman year I had 2 juniors that picked on me sometimes. I ignored them and they eventually stopped, the main reason that they picked on me was because I was not like the average person. I had my set of beliefs, my values and morals and I stuck to them. I do what I want to do, not what I'm pressured to do. I don't understand why the person that wrote the article was so proud of Downie's misserable life. He said he wrote it with a smile on his face, how could he? He is partly responsible, he admitted it but does not care. All those people that picked on him is partly responsible. This guy pisses me off, what if he was the gas station attendant and Downie came over to ask for the money... yeah.. go get em downie.

__________________

stupidzbu

i feel ya sho.gun

i too went to a private school... but it was aroung 700 people... you want to talk about freshman hazing?

try some junior high hazing... the school went from k-12 .. so when I hit 7th grade... i got it from 8th-12th...

why? well.. i'm from south america... so I grew up hearing the chants 'beaner' 'stupid mexican' and what not.. even though uruguay is no where near mexico *sighs*

so.. i have a big mouth (did you guys notice?) ... and of course... i'm not the type to just stand by and eat it... i was beat up so many times... was suspended countless times for fights...

the entire administration despised me too.. at lunch time.. when I walked in with my food.. the ENTIRE cafeteria would throw their oranges at me when i ate... cause i was mexican... and mexicans sell oranges... (funny right?).. well.. i just picked those damn oranges up.. and threw them right back at them.. and WOW did they get mad!!

i remember this one time ... still 7th grade... this guy Allen.. came upto me with like 6 of his friends... and pushed me into the boys bathroom... and he was REAL mad.. cause everytime he walked by me i would chant 'ALLEN ... ALLEN ..' like in the simpsons when they chant "daryl' for daryl strawberry.. and I would harass his g/f ...

so.. he confronts me.. and says 'punk ass.. you want me to beat your ass up? you want me and my friends to beat the living sh*t out of you?' and i stood there.. against the wall .. and i said 'bring it b*tch' and kept on talking my trash.. he left.. without touching me.. one of his friends said 'don't be like that when a guy harrasses you with his friends.. next time we might not let you go' ....

another guy.. who was in 10th grade (one year younger than allen)... was scared sh*tless of Allen.. i had no idea why... and he harrassed me just to look 'cool' in front of allen and his g/f ....

lets see.. in 7th grade.. i was thrown into the lockers and stomped on by 2 gusy in 8th grade.. cause i started calling them homo's cause they were always together and one had rosy cheecks (they obviously had done something to me to deserve it)....
then.. our PE coach punched me in the chest becuase I wasn't running fast enough... and would riducule me to the other kids saying 'you should run better.. or else you'll be fat and worthless like Rupen (thats me))... i gave his wife hell (who was my math teacher) for revenge...

then.. on my birthday (may 8) .. i got beat up so bad.. both my arms were BLACK.. cause it was custom to beat up the b-day boy... and this was by 8th grade, 9th grade, 10th grade, and 11th grade....

last year.. i went to a party.. that was full of alumni's from this school.. and a chick came up to me and said 'you're that weird kid everyone used to beat up on right?' and i nodded.. so she asked me 'is it true your mom preyed to god for you cause she couldn't have a boy.. and then got pregnant.. thats why you always had long hair?' i laughed my ass off (always have had long hair cause i like it)... and thought... 'wow.. what a dumb 30 year old!'

so.. 8th grade came.... and this one 9th grader would beat me up REAL bad.. he was a f*cking WALL.. like 6'5" and 350 pounds... i was like 5'7" and 140 ... or something like that... it got so bad.. girls actually started to feel SORRY for me !! and... this one guy in my class.. pants me while in the bathroom changing for PE.. i got so mad.. i just went CRAZY.. and beat the sh*t out of him.. he couldn't even hit me...

then this other guy called me a fag.. and i threw him against the trash and started punching... he got in trouble...

the PE coach that hated me... claimed that i was peeking into the girl's bathroom and got me suspended.. all the teachers hated me except for my english teacher.. so i was always sent to the Vp's office.. and he hated me too..so they were about to expel me...

my mom said that I used to come home everyday crying.. i probably blacked that out of my childhood... she said one day in 4th grade i went to the bathroom and cried my eyes out.. cause an armenian teacher told me i was the devilsh child...

so.. i've had it pretty tough during my child hood.. keep in mind that this is only 7th & 8th grade....

in kindergarden.. all the guys teamed up against me.. beat me up.. and broke my glasses.. cause i looked like a dufus.. then in 1st grade.. there was this metal rod thing.. that sorta looked like a football pole .. and they picked it up.. shoved it into my stomach.. i started to cry cause of the pain.. and the teacher told me to shut up and take it....

but never did I ever think of bombing the school or taking any of their lives... i explicitly remember.. showering.. and thinking.. and wondering why they treated me so badly... and always thought 'i love these people.. why do they do this?'
i never tried to interact..
in 2nd grade.. this guy asked me who i liked.. and i told him.. he ran and told the girl.. so i threw a basketball at his head.. and went crying to the bathroom.. the teacher took me to class.. and in front of the entire class (and that girl) told me 'you're stupid.. so what if you like Christine? go sit down and don't do this again!'

I was known as the booger man for my entire existence.. until i left the school in 9th grade.. cause in first grade... this girl got her high school brother to kick my ass.. cause she didn't like me.. and he squeezed me so hard.. a booger bubble came out of my nose...

so.. none of the girls ever talked to me...this one time in 6th grade.. the teacher put this girl Ramella next to me.. she cried so hard.. as if her mom had died or something.. just becuase she was sitting next to me... and her MOM actually came in and demanded her daughter be relocated next to someone 'else' ... like i was some sort of animal...

so.. yeah.. i've had it pretty hard.. these are just SOME of the stories.. i have so many of em ... but hey.. i guess i was like downie in a sense...

but unlike him.. i chose the right path..

the people who did this to me... here is a recap of their lives and an explanation WHY they did what they did to me:
the guy who told the girl i liked in second grade turned out to be a drug addicted homosexual.. his mom left the family around 5th grade.. and never returned.. he has a twin sister.. who is also a crack-whore... they used me as a scapegoat....

Allen is a waste of life.. he had a stint as a DJ.. but that busted.. and is going no where in life.. i know.. he is a family friends' friend.. and I used to see him frequently.. and I still talked MAJOR ****..except this time.. he didn't even have the balls to talk back .. cause i'm a monster now...

Ramella ... goes to a community college and has a steady boyfriend.. she was so shallow in high school.. and so were her friends.. that she has no one in her life but her b/f .. and maintains whatever is fashionable...

One of the guys who instigated the football pole thing turned out to be a real good friend.. after he was excommunicated from the class.. but shortly left because he couldn't handle the ridicule i had lived with since pre-K (it was 4th grade when that happened)

another guy.. is a real good friend right now.. we joke about the past and laugh.. he is going no where is life.. going to valley community college and Pierce with no future or major planned....

the guy who broke my glasses.. is one of my best friends.. we have taken many vacations together.. and laugh a lot... he is also from south america.. argentina.. but he was never ridiculed like I was.. cause his mom was in the PTA and everyone knew him...

some of the people who treated me like trash.. have actually apologized to me... I forgave.. why not? why have someone have this on their mind? i mean.. i am actually in great debt to them.. they shaped who I am today.. but not only that.. since the day I was born.. everyone has said YOU ARE NOT LIKE US.. YOU ARE NOT ACCEPTED.. AND THAT IS WHAT MAKES YOU SPECIAL.. NOT LIKE US COOKIE-CUTTER PEOPLE and i thank them for that....

life was hard.. i made my pet birds my friends.. i used to talk to them all the time.. and i was devistated when they died..i cried and cried and cried... my dad explained to me about life.. and death that day.. i still remember it... and it wasn't that i felt bad for their deaths.. i felt bad.. becuase i lost my only true friends... both my birds...

why do people do this?

- peer pressure.. it's cool to pick on the loser/dork
- scapegoat their personal problems onto someone else
- don't know any better
- can't deal with life.. and feel they should make someone else suffer becuase they are suffering
- have shallow parents or druggy parents.. or no parents

most of these people end up dead at a young age... hooked on something... no futures.. criminals... drug dealers... and the #1 problem in america...

so.. this guy.. who went to the school for ONE YEAR ONLY.. and left cause he was ridiculed MORE than me... ended up in the school that I transfered to...

i went to his house last november.. cause he called me up.. said he wanted some friends.. cause he was so lonely... so i talked to him...
he said that he had a problem being alone.. every day of his childhood he was alone ... and that he smokes weed because he doesn't want to be sober and ALONE... he needs SOMEONE there... and I asked why...

he said it was because he never had anyone in his childhood.. and he was traumatized... he told me that he is insecure because of what the people did to him as a kid...

i told him... 'look on the bright side of it.. you have been labeled as different at a young age.. most people spend their lives tring to be themselves... or someone.. and you got it for FREE from birth...'

then he told me that he felt anger for many years towards these people.. coloumbine anger... but he was just learning that they did these things for a reason.. so he was controlling his anger....

we talked with his parents for 6 or 7 hours.. he ended up crying.. his parents loved me for what I was telling him....

now.. i called him up a couple of weeks ago.. and he told me life is great.. his grades are climbing up... and he doesn't feel alone anymore.. he can actually deal with not having anyone in his life...

he told me this:
"what made me insecure... made you so secure.. that you stood up to everyone and anyone.. and I have admired you my entire life for that.. I used to watch you sit along at lunch time.. watching everyone.. and would think to myself 'how can he just do that with such confidence.. how can he not care?' .. and that inspired me... thank you"

and so ends my rant....

kids are *******s.... but you just need to know what to learn from these pricks...

and no.. violence in never the answer...
but i must admit.. i feel a great deal of compassion for the kid in san diego.. and the entire trenchcoat mafia...

everytime i see someone get picked on.. i stand up for him.. people call me for support.. people call me to back them up.. people call me just to have me around because they say my presence gives them some sort of extra 'power'

i am glad everything happened to me the way it happened.. and I am also glad that many people out there are benefiting from my experiences.. traumas.. and misfortunes...

but where I was despised.. now I am either loved.. or hated more becuase of jealousy...

I have had many achievements in my life:
-third place in chess tournament
- AP scholar
- listed in a US book for achieving 10th graders
- finished 109 quarter units in one year at a community college and transfered to UC Irvine (denied UCSD)
- one year away from finishing three majors in 4 years...
- going to dental school..
- been published in a book for poetry...
- found my soul mate... the woman i am going to spend the rest of my life with.... she has her own story.. but i'm too tired to explain it.. basically.. she is the girl everyone wants.. but nobody gets.. because she was waiting for the right guy.. since she was 12.. people have been asking for her hand in marriage (traditional armenian thing to do).. but she has denied everyone everything.. until she gave me her first kiss to any man on February 22, 1999 ...

and i hope to fill a lot more of these before i die
...

welfareloser

you would be the perfect person to do some public speaking on the subject of "life will get better - just hang in there and get your education without killing anyone else or yourself." work up a speech, get some help from people like social workers and those with writing/public speaking skeelz. you have a very good chance of getting a small grant from the us govt or some other organization to present a cleaned up version to high school and middle school students - all you would have to do is pitch it to the school officials, and since this is a hot social topic, they will probably be happy to have you for an hour.

and, aside from the social and personal value, THAT would be a great way to win a leadership award. it'll look great on your resume.

__________________
Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life. ~ Leo Buscaglia
http://www.welfareloser.com
http://gotapexblogs.net/users/welfareloser/

stupidzbu

your idea excites and intrigues me.....

i will look into it...

I really have no idea were to start.....

but why not the local high school when school starts next month?

i'll work on a speech.. and post it when it is done...

thanks for the idea!

too bad the competition deadline in sept 15, 2001 ... oh well .. i guess i'll submit next year!