soong

I mean is cause ppl suck at chosing the right ppl? Or is it cause we are the most exposed to them....what is up with this???


*sigh*
:cry2: :sure:

Nija

they know which buttons to push when they aren't thinking rationally.

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ufcrusher

I think its simply a matter of knowing what not to say, and then in the heat of passion using it to your advantage (seemingly).

I know that when I have been in a fight with someone, I made sure to highlight all of their shortcomings and mistakes, especially the ones I knew really made them feel bad. It felt great to watch the pain cross their face at the time, but then later, I felt like a big ****e. Especially since I for one, usually try not to be vindictive like that.

That said, when someone makes a very personal attack on me, or someone I love, the strongest gates in hell couldnt prevent me from trying to rip out their gizzards.

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tweeteresa

ehh...been there done that. all of it. and in the end it just SUX!!!

spigidygak

As human beings, we tend to want what we can't have the most . . .

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soong

yeah... those are all true... but what about when you place all your trust, your hopes, dreams and future... only to have her say..i'm sorry but i'm not IN love with you anymore...i'm in love with my best friend...and you thought you were her best friend...

SonyGuy

Yeah, been there done that... I had really strong feelings for her and she told me she did too. I asked her about her childhood friend and she told me she didn't have feelings for him, and that they were just friends. Needless to say she dumped me and got up with him that week. That really hurt..

Hiro

that sucks guys...to both of you. however, soong is in a different position than most. he has four children to worry about also. he can't just give up and i don't think he will. he is better than that.

sonyguy however, i know you've heard it before, but you will get over her. there are plenty more fish in the sea.

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-Corsec-

soong

yeah...i do... and thats just it... 4 kids... all under 6 (twins)i'm 27 still trying to work through school... i hate to say it... but without her... my kids are gonna be my life... my one shot at living life with the person you love most? i know that ppl say when the kids are older it will be different... but then most ppl don't know that i'm not cute and so and so on...i really don't even know how I got my wife...she's the most beautiful women i've ever met...

SonyGuy

Yeah, you're absolutely right Corsec. I had a girl passing off little hints to me the other day in a grocery line. lol. I'm gonna have to go back down there and see if I can get a number . I'm pretty much over my ex now thank God! I still have her on my IM list, yet when she signs on we don't talk to each other. Don't you hate it when you have contacts like that? Don't wanna delete them but can't really find a good way to talk to them.... Hey soong I hope everything goes well for you. You sound like a good parent just hang in there man! Things will turn up for the better with you if they haven't already began to

soong

thanks man. I'm glad things are working out for you. I just hope my kids don't hate me and learn from my mistakes...

SonyGuy

Well if you do the best you can I doubt they will. Especially when they get older and have a family of their own they'll realize what you must have went through.

Kim

I'm so sorry soong...I hope she realizes what she is losing.

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sbp

Those young kids are the ones hurt most by this bad situation and all for what?

soong

thank you kim... honestly...this has been the worst moment in my life. Its as if I were stabbed in the back by the person I trusted most with my life, then the knife removed and plunged into my heart. I have eaten once in the last 54 hrs, and I barely was able to choke it down and keep it down. Hurt my stomach something awful. I dunno where this energy to get up and deal with this comes from. My eldest daughter comes up to me and says why are you so sad. Her face is so innocent, and she gives me a hug, asking me to be happy. I can't help crying each time she asks me that.

I'm so lost as to what to do... I don't know if I should try and wait for her to come to her senses, cause I really do love her still. As try as I may to hate her and curse her name... she is the mother of my children, still my wife, and i'd still give my life for her. I'll be honest. If it weren't for my kids, I may not have the strength to live. My despair is like bile at the back of my throat, threatening to overcome me and choke me to death. I just don't know any more...

Kim

Do you think she would be willing to try couples counceling(sp)? When some dear friends of mine were going thru the same thing, it helped them. If not, maybe going alone will help you a bit. Good luck, and we are here for you!

Hiro

That is actually a really good idea, however it seems in-effective if only soong goes...

nickel

soong, so sorry you have to go through this, and your kids have to also.
keep strong for them, and PLEASE don't ever think of doing something as stupid as taking your own life. i am not saying you are contemplating this, but these are the things that make people snap. doing something like that is so selfish for you leave lifelong pain behind for those that care about you.
it's gonna take time to get your life back on track, but it will happen. i know it is pretty dark right now, but there will come a day when either you get back with your wife or else you will truly feel it is time to move on. i know it is easy for me to say, but it'll happen you just gotta hold on 'til then.

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Kim

I don't think it would be in-effective if it would help him cope and teach him the best way to deal with stuff for the kids. (not saying that you are not already doing the right thing soong) My friend actually went by herself before her husband was willing, and it helped her put everything in perspective.

soong

She's gone to counseling before...and she hated it and resented all the advice given. I'm not sure if she ever has forgiven me for asking her to go. And I'm pretty sure she won't go...

And nickel...it is the easy way out...and thats whats tough...don't we all want an easy answer? But you're right. The kids needs come first, before my own.

I feel like tantalus...she made overtures that she wanted to be with me, however the next day, she reneged on it saying she was too tired to think straight (which she was, and I tried to stop, but what she was saying guess blinded me to any risk). That was so hard to take...so demoralizing. My hopes smashed...

ucvb6

i believe you just answered your own question.

hope everything works out....

tweeteresa

i'm so sorry soong. in a time like this it is very hard to be strong. it feels like everything you know and trust has shattered to bits and pieces. please try to hold on and be strong. time will heal your pain. your kids need you right now because they are the innocent victims in this cruel twist of fate.

you're always welcome to come here and rant or talk about wutever is on your mind. i know the g|a community here is standing by you and we all wish you the best.

try to smile...force yourself to. it'll help. no matter how little it seems.

Jenny

I haven't posted in here yet because I have told soong privately how I am feeling and how much I care.

But I wanted to voice my support here, too. soong is a sweetie and a terrific father.

I know it is hard right now, soong. Keep good care of yourself right now. If you don't, it will make it harder to deal with the entire situation and harder to take care of the kiddos.

And remember, I'm here if you need to talk.

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soong

You know what everyone??? You guys are all terrific. thanks for the support from everyone...It does help. It REALLY did. I took some time away from the kids, and my friend came down to see me and took me to a game...was actually able to EAT. I had some beers and a cigar. I was able to relax.

I was able to take things into perspective. I still love her and hell I'm going to fight for us. The kids deserve a good mom (and despite what you may think, she is) and she needs a good husband . Thanks to everyone again...I have renewed strength....

tweeteresa

yay!!! good for you soong! that's good news. glad your friend (and us here) could help you out. we're still here if you need any more advice or you just wanna yell and scream and mope. i hope all goes well and you guys live happily ever after.

OC

She already has one

We got yer back bro...

-J

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*cough*

SonyGuy

Hang in there buddy you'll turn out for the best. We're all here for you!

nickel

friends are great crutches to get us through shat like this. glad you have one who saw what you needed and got you to go for it.
nothing likes some brewskis to help you think things out.

soong

oh no...most of my friends said cut your losses and go... move out...this is my choice...many of my friends are actually incredulous of my decision...but i think its the one that has the best results for everyone...and beers are good for the soul

Lady In Red

I hope things will work out for you - at times love can really suck huh?

"If you love someone, Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, it was never meant to be...."

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