Aristo

It's the first time I talked to her since we ended the relationship two years ago. I've known her since high school by some friend and it's just amazing how we met each other. I guess it was the right thing to end the relationship so we could both focus more in school and in work and plus less pressure on her shoulder 'cause of the school I go to and my family. I should be happy that we didn't come back together right after the broke-up. That way I wouldn't learn anything from it. The broke-up would just be another silly argument. Meanwhile I tried to improve myself by working hard and studying hard. I bought myself a 2001 GS430, living in WestWood and I have 3.8 GPA. Yeah, I've been working hard to try to forget her. Tonite I knew that she already has a new boyfriend and they are never so happy before. As a gentleman, I won't butt in. Just wish he really takes good care of her. You don't know to cherish her until you lost her. Sad, but true. I've dated some girls and honestly speaking, none of them can compare with her. They are smarter than her but not as considerate.

I guess it's good to know the truth after two years than 10 years. I can't always live in my fantisy land afterall. I don't know if I should be happy or not to know the truth today. I want to cry but the tears just won't come out.

Damn it....

ProMinx

I can't even imagine how i'll feel the next time i see my ex-girlfriend. She dumped me right before I moved to school. I wish her the best, and nomatter how much I love her, I can not imagine going back to her after all of the pain that she intentionally caused during the break-up.
ProMinx

__________________

hapoo

Same thing here

fabfore1

dodo90024, sorry to hear that. Hang in there though. Someone else will come along when you least expect it.

It's good that you're keeping busy and bettering yourself.
In the long run, after you forget about "her" etc. She'll probably be on your doorstep begging you back, and then it'll be too late for her.

What goes around comes around.

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and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God,
indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

bella

You guys seem so sweet!!!! Don't trip off your ex, someone better will come along, that will make you happier and hopefully you won't have to ever refer to her as "ex"

Aristo

Thanks guys. I actually felt so much better the next day. I kinda feel relief and create new chapter in my life. I remember back when we were still in high school, her mom said that the distance between us may grow longer because of the different school we will go to. I chose UCLA and she had no other choice but UCR. I'm not trying to put ranks on it but in reality, there are some difference between these two schools.

Last week I IM her if she wanted to come out during weekend to catch things up. I mean we hadn't talked for years. She said I had to make an appointment with her. I was like, what? you're that busy? What are you doing now then? She said, "Yeah, busy talking to my boyfriend." <grumble>

What really hurt me before is that she told many friends of mine that she didn't even love me after the breakup. Whether it's truth or not, it hurts.... a lot. And just the other day, for some reason, she told my friend that she still cares about me and wouldn't want to hurt me (BS maybe?) and etc. I really appreciate it.

I've moved on to my life, but just wanted to ensure for the last time that there will be no chance for us in the future. I confirmed that from her. "Good" I said. It's your lost not to ride in a brand new GS430 (5.1 or sometimes 5.0 seconds from 0 - 60, sorry I have to say this) instead you chose the Honda Civic guy. (I didn't tell her this. It was in my mind)

I realize that we all can stop looking at just what's just happened and what's coming up in the near future. We get too focused into each individual events sometimes that we forget to see the purpose of them being there. I wish we can look down to our lives and see the bigger picture and see where we're gonna end up down the line and learn from what we've gone through. That way, we don't have to beat ourselves up on some things we're going through, 'coz we know where those will lead us in the future.

Anyway, dodo out.

hapoo

lol heheheheheheh

Quote:

I realize that we all can stop looking at just what's just happened and what's coming up in the near future. We get too focused into each individual events sometimes that we forget to see the purpose of them being there. I wish we can look down to our lives and see the bigger picture and see where we're gonna end up down the line and learn from what we've gone through. That way, we don't have to beat ourselves up on some things we're going through, 'coz we know where those will lead us in the future.

Well put, I think

hapoo

We have a pretty good male support group going on here.
*stands up* Hi my name is Hapoo, and I too have problems with females*sits down*


#corrected once more thanks to sbp#


[Edited by hapoo on 11-02-2000 at 09:23 PM]

Aristo

I wouldn't address my problem as "woman problem" because they still act like teenage girls.

sbp

Every month hapoo has female problems.

hapoo

Its even more funny considering I'm a man

ProMinx

a man...that's questionable, but i will grant that you're male . Heh heh.
ProMinx

ProMinx

you think her telling yuo that she didn't love you anymore was painful? okay...that's a bad question to ask because obvisouly it was, but my ex went out of her way to try to spread negative rumors about me to my best friends through AIM. Fortunately, my friends are very loyal, and a lot of them were there for the original stories that she was trying to tell them about (she apparently just forgot they were there) and corrected her about the parts she was changing to make me look bad. She even tried to tell my best friend a few stories while i was in the room. We were laughing our asses off until we told her that i was there (like 15 minutes into it all)...and then she signed off quickly; geez, I can't figure out why...
ProMinx
ps - this is what i referred to as one of the ways she intentionally caused me pain.

Aristo

She told me that she never loved me when we were together. Ouch~ My ex also did the same thing about spreading the rumors to all my friends and gladly they none of them believed her 'cause what she told them was totally incorrect. And that's the time all my friends stopped talking to her 'cause she is a b. They all knew I treated her like nobody else. I bought her the prom dress for couple hundred dollars and guess what, she went with other person. Now, does it hurt?

pennypinch

I wouldn't stress. Things seem so magnified when you're young. I had a girlfriend in sophmore year (I'm sure Butch will attest to this) that was a nice girl, a real headcase, but she and I had a lot of fun together. One day, she just called and broke it off. Now, I'd never, and have never since, been dumped, so it was a pretty huge shock. But when you get some distance from the thing, you being to see the flaws and imperfections that add up to why it just isn't worth beating yourself up over.
You invariably begin to think, just because you "lost" the "game", that she is something to long for. While I'll concede that some women really are perfect, they are so rare that the chances that you've lost "the one" are supremely slim. Move on with your life, because it's a big world out there, and more than half the planet's population are women.

Just a hint, though. If you're without a girlfriend for four months, don't spend that time watching Swingers twice a day, every day. You can do much more productive things with your time. Not that I know, of course...

pennypinch

Oh, and hapoo, keep your bloody female problems to yourself...heh heh heh, I said bloody. Oh, when will the puns stop?

gwilks98

Don't criticize her for not choosing you (or your ride). You're just trying to feel better about the whole damn thing by putting her down.

Just realize that it wasn't meant to work out and she wanted different things. (regardless of how poorly she treated you)

if you really want satisfaction, a good side effect to this philosophy is that you can rebound faster and you'll be albe to get involved in another relationship sooner than before. This pisses ex's off something awful when they see that you are over it and happy with your current situation and not dwelling on the past. I figure, if she treated you like something she dug out of her ear, why let her bother you?

That's my $.02 about ex's. (and that's about all it's worth)

[Edited by gwilks98 on 11-03-2000 at 08:42 AM]

__________________
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"Cold silence has
A tendancy to
Atrophy any
Sense of compassion."

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hapoo

I can't help it, I'm just feeling a little sensitive right now

RoniMan

sorry, have to throw in my two cents here, being a support group and all.

i feel your pain dodo. i'm going thru a break-up right now. and i know that in a few months, i'll look back at this and laugh. i also try to look at the bright side, but it takes time. and all those things are supposed to happen in the future, i know will probably happen, but it just doesn't help right NOW.

but i know what you're feeling. that ambivalence is just killing you isn't it? well, i started collecting quotes the first time my heart was broken. and it's helped. so here's one for you.

"love makes time pass. time makes love pass"
-french sundial motto.

want more?

Aristo

I'm done with her years ago when we broke up. Past weeks I just thought perhaps we could give it another chance since I assume that we are both more mature than before and the breakup was supposed to be temporary.

The reason I was willing to give it a try is that I was close to her family. They have 4 kids, and the youngest two were only 3 and 5. I changed their diapers, feed 'em yummy yummy food, take 'em to shower, spend the morning reading stories to 'em. The bond between us was strong, I mean everytime they saw me, always gave me the biggest hug and smoochie. When they called my name, I had this father feeling. I know I'm only 20 years-old but the feeling is very strong.

I was interested in business field, and I sometimes went with her dad to meet some clients from China or Taiwan. One is to learn the business from real world, the other is to build up my own network. We used to have BBQ party every month and I'd be the cook.

Anyway, I just listed something and as you see, I have lots of history with her family. It's really too bad that things don't work out as we planned. At last, everything is history.

ProMinx

That's pretty good actually. I'd be very interested in hearing your others.
ProMinx

RoniMan

cool! btw, if you have some, feel free to share. i like collecting these.

"the ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree, but to hold hands." --unknown (once again, i don't have my quote book in front of me, so i don't remember who said these.)

"a diplomat remembers a woman's birthday, but never her age." --unknown

"if you love it, set it free, if it comes back to you, then it was meant to be." --?

ok, these love ones are depressing me. here's a couple upbeat ones.

"an opera is where you stab a man, and instead of bleeding, he sings."

"those who know others are wise, those who know themselves are enlightened." --either confucius or tao te ching

if i didn't burn you out, and you want me to send you what i have, just email me.

ArkiStan

I didn't get that one.

ProMinx