S: people upstairs

theorangeone · 03-27-2001, 08:35 AM

i was supposed to be getting a brand new computer today at work and give my old computer (which is not to shabby- its less than a year old) to the stupid wireless division upstairs.
its kinda odd- i work for a rather small company. but there are three different divisions. i work for civil/survey, then theres the wireless communications division. they suck. anywho, back to the original problem.

i was right in the middle of a large drawing with lots of little intricate changes when my new computer came. so i figured i'd finish up what i was doing, then go up and get the computer.

about 1/2 after i got the call that my new computer was here, the office manager came down to tell me the bastards from upstairs grabbed it so i don't get a new computer anymore. its not like i really needed one, but it still would have been nice. UGH! I HATE WIRELESS! TAKE THIS

i feel much better now.

jase71 · 03-27-2001, 08:45 AM

Sounds like the perfect reason for a little after hours "asset relocation".

Find the person in your department with the oldest, junkiest pc. Give them your current one. Take the junky one, and replace the NEW one with the old. You get the new one, someone else gets an upgrade, and the thief gets
the POS.

Probably worth staying a little after hours to pull it off...

revil · 03-27-2001, 09:26 AM

or just take their computer and replace it with a nice shiny toaster.

topane · 03-27-2001, 09:49 AM

You can always swap the insides...

hoey222 · 03-27-2001, 10:42 AM

change their logon password to L00s3rz

m0j0 · 03-27-2001, 12:27 PM

underclock their cpu to, like 66x1. put everything in their start menu. i assume they use winders...but if they use linux, set their default boot to runlevel 6 (reboot). put mucho porn in their box with the bios time set to the future...they will reset the time, but will probably not look for files...then when the porn is found, it will be at a time when they had the computer, and not you. um, um....

topane · 03-27-2001, 12:59 PM

Read up on some BOFH (Bastard Operator from Hell)--it gives me all kinds of ideas for my end-users http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html

Paladin · 03-28-2001, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by m0j0
underclock their cpu to, like 66x1. put everything in their start menu. i assume they use winders...but if they use linux, set their default boot to runlevel 6 (reboot). put mucho porn in their box with the bios time set to the future...they will reset the time, but will probably not look for files...then when the porn is found, it will be at a time when they had the computer, and not you. um, um....

I am not following you here please explain (I must be really dense)

hapoo · 03-28-2001, 12:40 AM

Translation for the slow-minded: Make the computer so slow and crappy that the "people upstairs" won't want it.

The Happy Squirrel · 03-28-2001, 02:01 AM

hmmm find some way to get them not to want the computer anymroe
convince them of its inferioity and take it for yourself

<either that or bring a basball bat with you, if you cant have it, no one can!!>

Hiro · 03-28-2001, 08:24 AM

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by m0j0
underclock their cpu to, like 66x1. put everything in their start menu. i assume they use winders...but if they use linux, set their default boot to runlevel 6 (reboot). put mucho porn in their box with the bios time set to the future...they will reset the time, but will probably not look for files...then when the porn is found, it will be at a time when they had the computer, and not you. um, um....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heh, I couldn't stop laughing when I read that.

03-27-2001, 09:49 AM	#4
topane turducken all the time Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Between the wheels Posts: 5,055	You can always swap the insides... __________________ Shall we buy a new guitar? Shall we drive a more powerful car?

03-27-2001, 12:27 PM	#6
m0j0 Captain Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: sandy eggo, shallowfornia Posts: 1,965	underclock their cpu to, like 66x1. put everything in their start menu. i assume they use winders...but if they use linux, set their default boot to runlevel 6 (reboot). put mucho porn in their box with the bios time set to the future...they will reset the time, but will probably not look for files...then when the porn is found, it will be at a time when they had the computer, and not you. um, um.... __________________ ~all witty comments have been inserted

03-28-2001, 12:40 AM	#9
hapoo Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jan 2000 Location: 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield USA Posts: 9,276	Translation for the slow-minded: Make the computer so slow and crappy that the "people upstairs" won't want it. __________________

03-28-2001, 02:01 AM	#10
The Happy Squirrel Rear Admiral Lower Half Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: the castle beyond the goblin city Posts: 2,913	hmmm find some way to get them not to want the computer anymroe convince them of its inferioity and take it for yourself <either that or bring a basball bat with you, if you cant have it, no one can!!> __________________ Lion face / lemon face!

03-28-2001, 08:24 AM	#11
Hiro Rear Admiral Upper Half Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 3,654	quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by m0j0 underclock their cpu to, like 66x1. put everything in their start menu. i assume they use winders...but if they use linux, set their default boot to runlevel 6 (reboot). put mucho porn in their box with the bios time set to the future...they will reset the time, but will probably not look for files...then when the porn is found, it will be at a time when they had the computer, and not you. um, um.... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heh, I couldn't stop laughing when I read that. __________________ -Corsec-

03-27-2001, 08:35 AM	#1
theorangeone Commander Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: not quite RI Posts: 1,137	i was supposed to be getting a brand new computer today at work and give my old computer (which is not to shabby- its less than a year old) to the stupid wireless division upstairs. its kinda odd- i work for a rather small company. but there are three different divisions. i work for civil/survey, then theres the wireless communications division. they suck. anywho, back to the original problem. i was right in the middle of a large drawing with lots of little intricate changes when my new computer came. so i figured i'd finish up what i was doing, then go up and get the computer. about 1/2 after i got the call that my new computer was here, the office manager came down to tell me the bastards from upstairs grabbed it so i don't get a new computer anymore. its not like i really needed one, but it still would have been nice. UGH! I HATE WIRELESS! TAKE THIS i feel much better now.

03-27-2001, 08:45 AM	#2
jase71 Rear Admiral Lower Half Join Date: May 2000 Location: East of Eden Posts: 2,060	Sounds like the perfect reason for a little after hours "asset relocation". Find the person in your department with the oldest, junkiest pc. Give them your current one. Take the junky one, and replace the NEW one with the old. You get the new one, someone else gets an upgrade, and the thief gets the POS. Probably worth staying a little after hours to pull it off...

03-27-2001, 09:26 AM	#3
revil shibuya girl Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Oregon Posts: 6,851	or just take their computer and replace it with a nice shiny toaster.

03-27-2001, 10:42 AM	#5
hoey222 Rear Admiral Lower Half Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: a little more to the left Posts: 2,426	change their logon password to L00s3rz

03-27-2001, 12:59 PM	#7
topane turducken all the time Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Between the wheels Posts: 5,055	Read up on some BOFH (Bastard Operator from Hell)--it gives me all kinds of ideas for my end-users http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html

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