11-02-2006, 05:15 PM
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Chief of Naval Operations
  
Join Date: May 2000
Location: LEVITTOWN< PA> USA
Posts: 13,621
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Men strike back!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it ----------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------- --- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." ----------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ----------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ----------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told ----------------------------------------------------------------- I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ----------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. |
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11-03-2006, 06:31 AM
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#2 |
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Fleet Admiral
 Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: In a nutshell
Posts: 9,678
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 (no comment) |
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11-03-2006, 07:06 AM
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#3 |
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Lieutenant
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever you go, there you are
Posts: 388
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Karnack...
The answer is:     The question: (Opens envelope) Things women will be doing to johnnymk for a long time. oh, and johnny... DUCK!! |
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11-03-2006, 07:08 AM
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Chief of Naval Operations
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Kansas City area
Posts: 10,947
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roflmao I've read most of those before.
 I can take it as well as I can give it. No biggie. They are funny.  And no more true than all the ones I post about men.
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Check out my spoilers for over 20 shows @ SpoilerFix.com Check out my TV blog, where I post weekly & daily TV schedules, TV news, interviews with TV stars & more! All new TV forums as well @ TV Is My Pacifier |
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11-03-2006, 08:15 AM
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Rear Admiral Lower Half
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 2,620
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What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
Shoulda listened the first time... |
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11-03-2006, 08:29 AM
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Fleet Admiral
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Huntington Beach, CA, currently in Korea
Posts: 7,632
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I love those. Haha.
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11-03-2006, 09:20 AM
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Rear Admiral Upper Half
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: San Diego
Posts: 3,388
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Funny stuff.
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11-03-2006, 02:39 PM
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#8 | |
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Lieutenant Commander
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Virginia
Posts: 636
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Quote:
Not sure if crossing into spousal abuse is *as* funny.
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"I feel bad for those people who don't drink, because when you wake up in the morning that's as good as you're going to feel all day long" --Frank Sinatra |
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11-03-2006, 03:15 PM
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Rear Admiral Lower Half
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 2,620
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Quote:
I know, it's tasteless... but still, one that elicits the "you didn't just go there" chuckle. |
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11-03-2006, 05:18 PM
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Chief of Naval Operations
Join Date: May 2001
Location: City of The Dead
Posts: 13,552
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Quote:
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11-03-2006, 05:27 PM
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#11 |
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Ensign
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 24
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Awsome!
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11-27-2006, 09:45 AM
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A Friend of a Friend
Join Date: May 2001
Location: WESTSIDE!
Posts: 1,673
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hehe, oldies but goodies... good for a chuckle.
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11-27-2006, 10:09 AM
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Rear Admiral Upper Half
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 3,985
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That was good =)
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11-27-2006, 10:14 AM
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#14 | |
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President, Cowboys Nation
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In the 'burbs, west of D.C.
Posts: 5,139
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Quote:
 Ehh, the spousal abuse was probably poor taste. But I bet it did get a chuckle out of most folks who read it.
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11-27-2006, 11:52 AM
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#15 | |
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Chief of Naval Operations
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: raising my pimp hand strong
Posts: 13,038
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Quote:
i agree  what's the first thing a woman should do when she gets home from a domestic abuse shelter? the dishes if she's smart! |
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