AmRivlin

Well this is for lack of better verbage "a good learning experience" I know the panic and sickening feeling you must have felt / are still feeling. I feel for you with that and your other weights that are on your mind these days.

(to lighten the mood) It doesn't help the Cardinals keep slipping farther from the Cubs and Brewers. (I know, last thing on your mind)

I think you are taking the correct approach and letting her have her space. I think you pegged it with BC and the quarter life crisis. I have a friend who is 32 and when she switched BC, her husband came and slept at my house thinking it was all over (she pretty much went off the deepend) With some discussions with a therapist and new medications she became the original person I knew.

I know it might be too late to help any, but I am in St. Louis Sept 11-15, maybe we can meet up and take your mind off this.

And just so you know, she knows how great you are and will swing back to her senses soon. Now is the time to catch up on your ESPN and SpikeTV!

Hang in there gw.

As a side note; for your future. In my relationship we don't live together, but spend inordiante amounts of time together 5-6nights a wekk, it can get boring at home or just watching tv. What we do to keep it interesting is take 1 trip a month with friends, like a double date. This ranges from San Diego, to camping a few miles away from home. Not only are the surroundings new and exciting we can hang out with friends and open up to others as well. I know, I am not one to dish out advice, being no expert at realtionships, but just my 2 cents

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gwilks98

now I've got people saying it's PMDD, pre-menstural dysphoric disorder...ask 10 people for their opinion and you'll somehow get 11 answers.

All I know is that she doesn't feel as attracted to me as before. Good looking guy, 5'11" 185 lbs with athletic cut, good sense of humor and romantic at heart. I own my own house, my car is paid off and I have a steady job with a promising future. What's not to love? This makes no sense to me. It's about time for me to say fvck it.

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attgig

yeah. it's always good to figure out who you are. keep on finding more ways to challenge yourself and to figure out who you are. the stronger you are in who you are and where you're going, the more she'll want to hold onto you (i think..=p)

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Jihforce

One of the reasons I say not to over-analyze it is because you will only confuse yourself more. Women don't always have a "logical" reason for doing what they do. I'm not saying its logical in general, I'm say its not logical to US, the guys. Like you just said, you got a lot to offer, but she just doesn't see it. Why? Maybe because that's not what she's looking for? Maybe that's not what attracts her at the moment? The possibility are endless. One thing you do know, she doesn't want to be glued to you 24-7. So accept it for what it is. We can talk about hormones, indecisiveness, self-discovering, feeling less attracted, etc...at the end of the day, all those reasons do not matter because the bottom line is she moved out. You got something good going for you, as long as you know who you are and what you have to offer, there will be women out there that will be attracted to you. Fear not.

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AmRivlin

Well Gw, I dont want to steer you wrong, but you are as you said 28, (myself being 27) single ain't the end of your life. (just the beginning) haha.

I'll give you a call when i get home next month.

Keep us posted.

ufcrusher

As many people have already stated, this is not something that you can control. Its an unfortunate truth, but until she comes to terms with what she wants you are going to be miserable. An even more unfortunate truth is the fact that once she reaches her decision you may be even more miserable.

From your posts its obvious that you have been searching for what has caused this sudden change. Could it be the BC...yes, but the likelihood is slim. (IMHO) Could it be a "quarter-life" crisis. yes, if you believe in it. Could it be that the fact that she realized that she wants to play the field while she still has the equipment...could be. It could be almost anything. Hell, it could be that she saw someone else sans clothes and realized that you were hung like a newborn.(<-Meant to be humourous, please take it that way.)

The reality is you will likely never know what caused this. Just know that there is something that she feels is wrong with her life and she is trying to fix it. It may just be that the crush of everyhing in her life plus everything in your life was too much for her to take right now. Whatever the outcome, it does not sound like it is anything that you can fix for her. Just push through it.

One last thing, for all the negative outcomes...there are positive outcomes as well. Approximately 1 year ago, my best friend and his long time girlfriend split up because he wasnt sure he was ready to get married. While he loved his girlfriend, he wasnt sure he was in love with her. He also wasnt sure he was old enough (at 30) to have settled on one girl for that long. Suffice it to say, after he broke up with her, he thought about playing the field. He even went on a date or two...but the whole time he was only thinking about his ex and how much he couldnt imagine life without her. 2 months after splitting up they started going out with each other again...then she moved back in...and now they are getting married. So there is hope.

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Updates???

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gwilks98

She feels like she wants to date other people. She gets upset when guys at bars stop talking to her when they find out she has a boyfriend. (Normal feeling - I took advantage of a girl once in that scenario.)
I guess karma is coming back around.

She wants me in her life, but not sure how anymore. Needs to find out what else is out there, then will better deal me if she gets the chance.

I don't think I can work this out anymore.

Going to go to bed now.

Airencracken

Sigh. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but its time to move on man.

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cruelpupet

yea, if shes looking to see other people, dont let her make you a dick in a jar.

Prngr44

Damn man... that sucks. My beer offer still stands whenever you want.

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Napoleon54

Move on. Easier said than done though... it can be a long and rough process. Maybe she'll get jealous and come back.

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gwilks98

her sister essentially called her a moron today. <laugh>

Thanks for the support guys. It's going to be a rough run of things for a while.

Kevster

I don't think it's karma coming back at you here, I think she's confused and doesn't understand what she really has. I have been in this scenario myself so I know how much it sucks. After being in being in a serious relationship with someone for 2 years and suddenly they aren't sure they love you anymore (yet want you in their life) did NOT work for me. After trying to make the whole friend thing work for a summer, I just couldn't do it anymore when she started going out with one of the other "guy friends" that she had while we were together. She said they were "just friends", but it didn't smell right to me and I cut her off like a gangrenous limb. It turned out later I was right, but I really didn't like being right.

The way that relationship ended really hurt me and I started getting into more hazardous activities/hobbies after that. It also inaugurated a period of my life (before Mrs. Kevster showed up) that can be aptly called, "the parade of bimbos". An example of this period of my life would be this post. (have you ever dated a stripper ?)

I sincerely hope that she comes to her senses and realizes what she has for both your sakes. Otherwise, you may have to deal with the situation I was dealt, and I really, really hope that doesn't happen to you.

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Prngr44

Ding ding.

I went through pretty much the same thing when I was 26-27. My "parade" lasted about 3 years.

gwilks98

Hey, how come I don't get a parade? You're saying I don't want one? I'm in my prime, baby!

Napoleon54

bring on the bimbos

Prngr44

I think your parade is just about to start.

kimchicowboy

hope you're doing better, gw.




i'm sort of in your situation, but on the other end. i'm burnt out from the relationship. i tried my best to keep things good, but the gf keeps getting upset at me and stuff. we love each other and plan(ned) to get married. but i don't think so any more. i'm starting to feel that i won't make her happy in the long run and she won't make me happy. i feel that she's trying to mold me into someone i'm not, and now i feel like an empty shell, that i'm not who i really am anymore. and i think i have to let her go for both of our sakes. it sucks, it's painful, but it'll be best for the long run.

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gwilks98

nope, not really doing better. tried to move on last night, but just couldn't bring myself to work the crowd. It's still too soon.
I'm at my ceo's house today for some tech support and she was telling me that my girl was talking to her about a month ago about how she (my g/f) thought we should get married while my father is still around. WTF?

AmRivlin

Maybe you can write her a letter expressing your feelings and concerns?

TofuNinja

Wow reading this I feel a little lucky. As you all know I was pretty much dumped by my ex last year. We had been together for 7 years and were engaged. But she just didn't think I was the one anymore. Well after the dump, I was still living with her as I had no where else to go. So we had an on again off again thing that was like friends with benefits. She told me she loved me, and wanted me in her life, but couldn't marry me nor have my kids.....Luckily I got a teaching offer back near my hometown and moved about a month after she dumped me. That was the best damned thing to EVER happen to me. I got away from her. I got lost in my first real teaching job, and things started to get back on track. It was hard, but within a few months I was over her. I realized that it wasn't HER I was missing, it was the feeling of having someone. I too also felt worn out by the relationship and what not. We would fight for no reason, I felt worthless, maybe she made me feel that way, I don't know. But bottomline I got out of there.

Go hang out with some Bros. Do stuff. Keep your mind off her. She doesn't seem to be in the right frame of mind, and honestly do you seriously want her back? My ex called after she found out I was dating someone (who I am still with) and told me she wanted me back, that she thought she made a mistake. I told her I had moved on. I am no longer in that place I was with her. I'm in a better place. It was tough, there is no way I can see my ex in my life anymore. I tried, I called her on her BD and she did not return the favor. Oh well.....

Do what you need to do, but seriously, heal. Accept and heal.

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