gwilks98

Ok, I haven't had a first date with a girl in a LONG time. Given my current situation, I decided 2 weeks ago to give picking girls up a shot.

I've had some decent success. 3 numbers in 2 weekends. My icebreakers were brilliant, and I found I'm a bit more charming than I gave myself credit for.

However, I've been unable to convert my success to a date yet. I'm not a big fan of the game, so I don't know if I there are rules I'm not following.

One girl wanted to hang out badly enough she was willing to ditch her friends and let me take her home that night, despite me being a complete stranger. She looked me up on facebook the next day and added me. We talked back and forth on it all day that day (Sunday). I asked her to a casual Tuesday dinner on Monday, and she then pulled a "I'm busy the rest of this week." We talked a few times since then, but she hasn't really shown any interest since I made my move. Very odd...she did visit my dad's carepage a few days ago for the second time. (In other words, I know she's looking at me online.)

The most recent girl I picked up at the Journey concert. I gave her a copy of my biz card. She said she'd email me and she seemed REALLY interested. I got a text from her that night. I texted her back once, she replied. I waited until Sunday to reply. We had one more exchange, but then nothing today.

So anyone care to give out pick up pointers for someone you just met? Once you get the info swap, what do you do to seal the deal and get date #1? What kind of a timeline do you expect when talking to someone new?

__________________
"I know the pieces fit, cause I watched them fall away."

"Cold silence has
A tendancy to
Atrophy any
Sense of compassion."

MJK

johnnymk

I think a lot of women today are afraid of men. That's probably the reason they mingle with lesbians.

renovation

maybe they just want to sack you when you first meet .and when you didn't perform they feel your a looser or a virgin.

__________________
be careful of what you wish for . you may get a ton of junk e-mail !

smile or f-off

attgig

what is it... 3 days? you can't seem to desparate?

i hate the game, but you gotta play it. or, just tell em straight up, look, i'm not here to play a game, I want a real relationship, bla bla. if they stay, then no more games.

__________________

attgig

fyi, they're just trying to let you down easy.

gwilks98

ha...screw you renovation And I am a loser, but that's not the point...as far as virgin, to pull a quote of irony from the great movie Tombstone: <drunk and gambling Doc> "I have not yet begun to defile myself."

The Journey girl text'd me a few hours ago and said "I lost your email address. What was it again?"

My ass...she's playing around and wanted an excuse for waiting it out. I guess she was trying to test me to see how desperate or interested I was.
I'll wait until tonight or tomorrow to respond. I'm a busy guy.

Daedalus

IMO it doesn't sound like you've set the hook well enough to let the catch run yet. Run more lines. Then again, what do I know? Last time I was single the word "texting" wasn't even in use yet, and would likely be misunderstood as something obscene.

gwilks98

what do you suggest then? she was asking how my week has been, and I took a few hours to respond, which is out of character for me. (she knows that)

cruelpupet

Its really annoying, but some people just dont respond quickly. Ive had girls respond up to a week later.

__________________
Am I alone here? Is that it?
Am I the only one who sees.

Maybe we can learn to be just like him.
Wear a little uniform.
Yes, sir.
No, sir.
Thank you, sir.

Prngr44

Booze.

And lots of it.



Good luck with the chicklydees.

__________________
http://otthouse.blogspot.com

tweeteresa

I hate the 3day rule. Don't do it. All of my friends hate it as well. PLUS the 3day rule applies to meeting someone, exchanging #'s and then CALLING. With texting, it should be much sooner. If I text you and I don't receive something back within say...a few hours (the day max), you're automatically written off as not interested.

I don't like playing games. If you like me and interested in getting to know more, SHOW IT. Don't wait a whole 2 days to text back a response. If I met you Saturday night, and you send a short and cute hello message on Sunday and you've instantly earned brownie points. If you wait until Monday or Tuesday...I may have forgotten about you already.

thresher

I know how you feel about starting dating. Well, I don't know yet. I haven't been on a date in, oh, 20 years. Gulp. So, this will be an adventurous year for me too. It does sound like you're doing a great job of starting conversations and that's half the battle.
Texting? My phone doesn't even have a camera let alone texting. I am old.

__________________
Wait a second... you're telling me Sixpac Shakur is a CHICK?

Maarchk

Just an observation: You hate the game and yet by your purposeful delaying you are contributing to the game.. Just saying...

__________________
"The girl is crafty like ice is cold."

"I left my heart in san francisco... And my liver at Moe's Tavern."

A real friend is one who listens to you as much as they talk to you.

Pemolis

Some basic things to have in mind to get the girl coming back. Your charming and interesting and they seem to want to get to know you.. thats 90% of the problem already solved.

1) Don't expect to make a date over the phone. If you meet them, make the date before you leave their sight. You don't have to say "Lets go date", but have an idea of what you are doing the next day, and make it sound like the greatest thing in the world. For instance:

"I usually go to this Awesome sushi place, if you ever had raw fish. Its amazing and everytime someone walks in they scream "Banzai"! Its so awesome and I'm going there tomorrow..

You don't have to invite her, don't initially, but drop the idea in her head. You can later on in your conversation once she's more comfortable.

2) if possible, hell make the date right then and there. There is no rule stating that you cannot meet an awesome person.. and just have an instant date. Its fairly simple, just take them from 1 place, to another. If they are comfortable with you, just move them to the coffee shop next door, the starbucks down the street, whatever.

3) There is no 3 day rule. If you meet a person, get their number.. then call them whenever. If they are losing interest in you early, its because they don't want to dedicate their free time on you. Essentially, you were awesome to meet, but you have not decided to do anything, essentially, you aren't doing anything interesting and cool that I can tag along on. This means know what is going on around you in your city.

You have no problem talking to gals it seems, you just don't have a plan on where to take them or what to do once you meet them besides "get their number". A date doesn't have to be a formal affair, just an adventure with 2 people doing something cool together, even if its going down the block for some fresh air.

Oh, and if she gives you a hoop to jump through, give her one before you go through her's. You'll seem that much more together.

zenbooty

No anal on the first date.

__________________
Common sense is what tells you the Earth is flat.

Yossarian

THATS what my problem was...thanks zb

__________________
"So cheers all and remember, don't mistake my old age for maturity. Just because I grow old does not mean I grow up. " -Merlin

"Now that your limelight has been sufficently trashed I will leave"- Nija

Each religion has got their own way of making you feel like a victim. The Christians say 'you are a sinner', and you better just zip up your trousers and give the money to the pope and we'll give you a room up in the hotel in the sky.
~Timothy Leary

gwilks98

awesome zenbooty...

pemolis, pretty damn good advice. thx.

Nija

GDI!

I was just coming in here to say that too *grumble*

My contributions:

Don't stare that their boobs. They don't seem to like that until you have them naked.

This may be just a personal thing, but I let her touch me first. That seems to be one of the greatest indications of intimacy coming from a woman. I feel it shows they are interested in getting to know you, and they are paying attention. From my experience it also seems to mean they want you to touch them back

__________________

"Nija is the dark soul of gotapex. We don't like to talk about him." - LPMiller

mcs328

Am I safe to say the only female opinion has come from tweeteresa? I thought the rule was for every 3 calls you make, she should make 1 call. I agree with texting it's different.

__________________

hotbatch

I don't really know what this means and I can't tell if it's creepier for her to be looking you up online or for you to be monitoring it

Pemolis

I actually concur with hotbatch. That was slightly odd.

gwilks98

I have my father's carepage listed on my facebook profile. Carepage is a place for people to go to find updates on a sick person. She's aware of his condition and is usually the first person to offer kind words when an update is posted.

My mom was the one who monitors who visits (it's her hobby) and she told me about the visit. And yes, my mom is a busy body.

VTGreg

Show it to her!


In all seriousness, it's somewhat sad but it is a numbers game. Keep working on getting those initial numbers and you'll slowly find your groove in how to handle it afterwards.

If you don't enjoy playing games then don't play the games. You may come across as desperate to the other person, but that is only because they are used to playing games. When you finally come across someone that isn't into playing games, it will be refreshing for both you and her.

Sounds like you are well on your way.

__________________
Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.



http://www.hammockbag.com

tweeteresa

3:1? You like the chase, huh?

And I don't think gwilks knows me...I just lurk a lot.