johnnymk

I have a friend of a friend who is in his fifties. He's a good looking guy, fairly successful. He owns about 7 houses and rents them out. He is having major problems collecting rent in all of them: they are in distressed neighborhoods. I also know that he has made some really bad investment decisions and lost a ton of money.

He met this Oriental millionaire who has her own business. I understand that she is not that pretty and is a control freak. Everything has to be on her terms. Well, I found out that he is marrying her in the very near future. I guess he needs her money. At least, that's what my other friend assumes.

I know I could never stoop that low.

What do you think?

DarkFury

If he is "fairly successful" then honestly... I wouldn't do it.

My happiness comes first... and honestly, it sounds like she would make life miserable (plus if she's not worth lookin' at ... well that kinda kills the mood as well.)

Now if you are already miserable, then go for it... because misery loves money when there is nothing else to keep it company. You can temporarily rent happiness.

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mojo

no.

unless she has the iacocca mustang.

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johnnymk

on second thought

guiseppewv

If she was smart, sexy, nice, etc.... (i.e. the woman of my dreams) then sure I would marry for money.

In other words, no, I would not marry for money.

VTGreg

All depends on the situation. How much of a trade off is she in terms of personality, looks, etc... versus how wealthy is she. Being married and in a really good situation, I'd go with a resounding no.

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guiseppewv

On second thought....If said rich person was Alyssa Milano, yes.

gear02

also can we please stop using the word "oriental" to describe a person of asian descent?

DarkFury

I do have one question though...

Is "Oriental" considered a "generic" term versus "Asian"?

I know that so many folks get up in arms about "Black", "Afro-American", "African-American", etc... just because of political correctness (although for me.. "Black" is just fine without all that extra hoopla).... does "Oriental" fall along those same lines? Is there a negative stigma attached to it? Just wondering.

guiseppewv

I did not realize that this offended anyone. I know some Asians who prefer to be called Oriental. I am glad you added this comment b/c I sometimes refer to people as Oriental but I was not aware that people took offense to it.

guiseppewv

attgig

in American PC language, oriental is a adjetctive used to describe inanimate objects... ie oriental rug. If you used it as a noun, it would be even more offensive (ie. An Oriental just got that new job)
Asian is used to describe a person.

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mojo

if i marry someone for money, they happen to be asian, and this is their request...then yes

DarkFury

I see...

I just happened to look it up at Dictionary.com and here's what they say about it:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/oriental



To be honest, I always though it meant "someone from the Orient"... and in that, if it was an item, like an Oriental rug, it was "a rug made by someone of the Orient".

Personally, I respect your wishes to not use that reference, however I still don't really see the true "negative/slur" relation of the term. Honestly, I don't think people use the term to degrade or make disparaging remarks about your decent (unlike some "other terms" out there that we oppose in people using...)

cheapie

like most of those phrases that fall out of public favor, it's because the word was used with a negative connotation in the past.

kind of like it if there hadn't been idiots ragging on "negroes" then it would still be okay to use that word.

i'm okay with words that have been used in the stigmatization of a race being taken out circulation.

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Jah Rulez

When the entire world starting becoming PC, Oriental was not the "appropriate" term to use.

I understand. Oriental is a rug, Asian is a culture/people.

WhiskeyPapa

I would not marry someone for money. I would not even marry someone because they "made me happy".

And I learned right here on G|A several years ago that Oriental = things, Asian = people.

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DarkFury

So if you don't marry for money.. and you don't marry to be happy... then why do you marry someone? Because she is pregnant?



So if you said "Asian rugs"... would the rugs get offended?

johnnymk

only if it had this kind of "rug"

Funny but just last week, this topic was brought up at our Sunday church service. If a person feels that they need someone to make them complete, fulfilled or happy, it will never happen. Only if you are content with yourself will you be able to share yourself with someone else. Made sense to me.

DarkFury

I can buy that logic... You shouldn't marry someone because you NEED them to help you. However if both people are secure with themselves and want to share each other... then it sounds great to me (in a hypothetical sort of way...)

mcs328

No to the marrying for money. Yes for not using Oriental for the description of people. I've been called worse but Oriental makes my spine shudder.

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WhiskeyPapa

Bingo - that's what I meant when I said I wouldn't marry someone because they made me happy - because that's not enough.

I heard some author on the radio a few months ago talking about why the divorce rate is astronomically higher now than at any time in history. He said it was because between the 40s and 60s there was a fundamental shift in how people perceive marriage and what they expect from it. Prior to that, people understood that marriage was a union of two people to fulfill a goal, to achieve a mission. Sometimes that was raising a family, sometimes building a business, or a number of ever changing goals. They were "one" in their determination and society supported that idea of marriage.

Now most people seem to see marriage as a way to "complete" them, or make them happy. Marriage is considered a means to provide comfort, to alleviate loneliness, to feel loved. It's all me, me, me, me, me - what does my marriage do for me. When that person (whom you married for the sole reason of providing "something") ceases to provide that "something", the marriage ends.

DarkFury

Honestly, I don't feel that marriage would complete me... however I do know that I wouldn't want to marry anyone who'd make my life miserable. I'd rather be on my own then go that route.

I guess it's just a matter of perspective on how you look at "happy"... If you are already satisfied with your lifestyle, I guess it doesn't hurt to share that with someone who can provide additional "happyness" in your life rather than get saddled down with someone who would make your life a living hell.

... all in how you look at it ....