10-18-2001, 10:38 AM
|
#1 |
|
Admiral
  
Join Date: May 2000
Location: OKC
Posts: 5,046
 |
Pregnancy Q & A
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth. Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question? Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out you're pregnant. Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you. Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy. Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in college. |
|
|
|
10-18-2001, 12:05 PM
|
#2 |
|
Chief of Naval Operations
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Posts: 11,037
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
10-18-2001, 03:32 PM
|
#3 | |
|
Eternally Ensign
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Utah
Posts: 4,573
|
Re: Pregnancy Q & A
Quote:
__________________
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes. --Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
|
|
|
|
|
10-18-2001, 04:17 PM
|
#4 | |
|
court-martialled
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Brig
Posts: 0
|
Re: Pregnancy Q & A
Quote:
LOL... we didn't know what my son was till he was born, and as soon as he poped out my soon to be x-wife sat up and said " damit you won it's a boy " and laid back down....   |
|
|
|
|
|
10-28-2001, 08:30 AM
|
#5 |
|
hot in velour pants
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: New York City
Posts: 9,198
|
Oh dude that's funny
__________________
____________________ IF A FAT GIRL FALLS IN THE WOODS DO THE TREES LAUGH? |
|
|
|
|
10-28-2001, 04:42 PM
|
#6 |
|
Grand Moff
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: jabba's palace. (yes, i do... and no, you can't.)
Posts: 9,718
 |
that was a good one... and i'll put in another vote for "cool air currents on the unit causing showers..." at least when girls pee, you know what direction it's gonna go... with boys, all you can do is close your mouth, squint, and hope he doesn't nail himself in the ear.
__________________
Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life. ~ Leo Buscaglia http://www.welfareloser.com http://gotapexblogs.net/users/welfareloser/ |
|
|
|
|
11-12-2001, 08:49 PM
|
#7 |
|
Lieutenant Junior Grade
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Riverside, CA
Posts: 133
|
Very funny. This is one of the funniest pregnancy jokes i have heard. I need to send this to my mom, she teaches lamaze, i am sure her students would get a kick out of this.
|
|
|
|
Linear Mode
