Christmas Lights

chrissy · 12-04-2001, 01:18 PM

Christmas Lights
By Becky Irico

I love outdoor Christmas lights; on other people’s houses.

This is not a scientific study or anything, but it seems to me the grandest Christmas displays are by those who A) don’t have children; B) are grandparents; or C) are wealthy enough to not personally be the one standing on the ladder with lights draped like a tangled pageant banner.

Each year my neighbors across the street, who by the way, don’t have children, put up such a delightful light display! I wave merrily and feel I’ve done my part by providing an appreciative audience.

Christmas is a time that my ego doesn’t bother me much, and I’ve felt no need to reciprocate this electric tradition of the season.

My children have a different opinion.

Each year they ask, "Mom, everybody else has lights! Why can’t we?"

Everybody??! The childhood mantra; "Everybody else has (fill in the blank). Why-can’t-we?"

Each year I respond, "Why have them on our house? I can’t SEE those! Just look across the street!"

Parents: read no further. You already know what happened.

My Christmas Light Diary:

Day 1
Find out there’s a difference in indoor and outdoor lights. Go buy lights.

Day 2
Realize I can’t put up lights without cleaning the gutters. Find out that after I clean gutters, I have to rake the leaves again.

Get out the lights I bought. Find out I must wash down the outside windows, too.

Swear that I will NOT wash the windows inside. That would be obsessive, surely.

Finish washing the inside windows by 10 P.M. Aching all over, I realize that not one light is actually up.

Day 3
7 AM - Delude myself into believing the worst is over, and begin putting up lights.

Since there are little hooks all along the front of the house, I think the previous owners must have put them there expressly to hang Christmas lights! Great! This is going to be a piece of cake!

10 AM - Decide the prior owners must have hung ferns. Decide since I can’t see them from the street while on those hooks, I’ll drape them nicely and won’t that be lovely.

3 PM – Discover that unevenly draped lights look like I need a car up on blocks in the front yard to match.

6 PM – I’ve taken them all down, put them up again, only to find some burned out bulbs.

I learn that an electrical engineer is required to replace a burned out mini-light

I’ve begun to talk to my ladder.

6:30 PM – A neighbor across the street starts putting his lights up. I hear strains of laughter and joviality. He covers a two-story house in lights.

7:30 PM – My neighbor asks me if I need anything now that he’s done.

7:45 PM – One of the children’s friends stops by with her mother whom I’ve never met before.

The entryway is completely blocked by my ladder. Strands of lights and garland are secured only by being draped around my neck as I balance myself at the top of the ladder.

The mother is in a talkative mood. We’ve never met and had lots to catch up on.

8:30 PM – It begins to rain. I’m still draped in lights at the top of the ladder. The mother decides she’d better go now. She advises me it might be dangerous to be working with all those lights in the rain.

Day 4
After careful evaluation, I determine that it would be less trouble to go ahead and put the lights up; rather than take them all down and forget it.

Day 5
My house now looks like I could drive through and order a cheeseburger.

After roughly 30 seconds of approving cheers from the children, they now want to know if we can have a lighted reindeer. Everybody else does, after all.

Jenny · 12-04-2001, 03:13 PM

LOL So funny and SOOO true!

WrLdTrvLr · 12-22-2001, 02:47 PM

This Story is very funny. But as you know ME!!!!
I love to put up them lights....even though the winds here wont let us put up very many this year....last year my neighbors and I had the whole building lite up like a sky rocket....

chrissy · 12-22-2001, 04:38 PM

OMG!!! You finally registered!

I miss you!

donnie's parents are here. So not a lot of time to write

LOL you and your lights! But then again, Donnie is just as bad!

Will catch you on ICQ next week PROMISE!

Love you!

12-04-2001, 01:18 PM	#1
chrissy Admiral Join Date: May 2000 Location: OKC Posts: 5,017	Christmas Lights Christmas Lights By Becky Irico I love outdoor Christmas lights; on other people’s houses. This is not a scientific study or anything, but it seems to me the grandest Christmas displays are by those who A) don’t have children; B) are grandparents; or C) are wealthy enough to not personally be the one standing on the ladder with lights draped like a tangled pageant banner. Each year my neighbors across the street, who by the way, don’t have children, put up such a delightful light display! I wave merrily and feel I’ve done my part by providing an appreciative audience. Christmas is a time that my ego doesn’t bother me much, and I’ve felt no need to reciprocate this electric tradition of the season. My children have a different opinion. Each year they ask, "Mom, everybody else has lights! Why can’t we?" Everybody??! The childhood mantra; "Everybody else has (fill in the blank). Why-can’t-we?" Each year I respond, "Why have them on our house? I can’t SEE those! Just look across the street!" Parents: read no further. You already know what happened. My Christmas Light Diary: Day 1 Find out there’s a difference in indoor and outdoor lights. Go buy lights. Day 2 Realize I can’t put up lights without cleaning the gutters. Find out that after I clean gutters, I have to rake the leaves again. Get out the lights I bought. Find out I must wash down the outside windows, too. Swear that I will NOT wash the windows inside. That would be obsessive, surely. Finish washing the inside windows by 10 P.M. Aching all over, I realize that not one light is actually up. Day 3 7 AM - Delude myself into believing the worst is over, and begin putting up lights. Since there are little hooks all along the front of the house, I think the previous owners must have put them there expressly to hang Christmas lights! Great! This is going to be a piece of cake! 10 AM - Decide the prior owners must have hung ferns. Decide since I can’t see them from the street while on those hooks, I’ll drape them nicely and won’t that be lovely. 3 PM – Discover that unevenly draped lights look like I need a car up on blocks in the front yard to match. 6 PM – I’ve taken them all down, put them up again, only to find some burned out bulbs. I learn that an electrical engineer is required to replace a burned out mini-light I’ve begun to talk to my ladder. 6:30 PM – A neighbor across the street starts putting his lights up. I hear strains of laughter and joviality. He covers a two-story house in lights. 7:30 PM – My neighbor asks me if I need anything now that he’s done. 7:45 PM – One of the children’s friends stops by with her mother whom I’ve never met before. The entryway is completely blocked by my ladder. Strands of lights and garland are secured only by being draped around my neck as I balance myself at the top of the ladder. The mother is in a talkative mood. We’ve never met and had lots to catch up on. 8:30 PM – It begins to rain. I’m still draped in lights at the top of the ladder. The mother decides she’d better go now. She advises me it might be dangerous to be working with all those lights in the rain. Day 4 After careful evaluation, I determine that it would be less trouble to go ahead and put the lights up; rather than take them all down and forget it. Day 5 My house now looks like I could drive through and order a cheeseburger. After roughly 30 seconds of approving cheers from the children, they now want to know if we can have a lighted reindeer. Everybody else does, after all.

12-04-2001, 03:13 PM	#2
Jenny Chief of Naval Operations Join Date: Mar 2000 Location: Kansas City area Posts: 10,947	LOL So funny and SOOO true! __________________ Check out my spoilers for over 20 shows @ SpoilerFix.com Check out my TV blog, where I post weekly & daily TV schedules, TV news, interviews with TV stars & more! All new TV forums as well @ TV Is My Pacifier

12-22-2001, 02:47 PM	#3
WrLdTrvLr Plebe Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Azores- soon to be Germany Posts: 2	Thousand's of lights can blind your Neighbor's..LOL This Story is very funny. But as you know ME!!!! I love to put up them lights....even though the winds here wont let us put up very many this year....last year my neighbors and I had the whole building lite up like a sky rocket.... __________________ World Travler , Wherever you are, You are there.

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12-22-2001, 04:38 PM	#4
chrissy Admiral Join Date: May 2000 Location: OKC Posts: 5,017	OMG!!! You finally registered! I miss you! donnie's parents are here. So not a lot of time to write LOL you and your lights! But then again, Donnie is just as bad! Will catch you on ICQ next week PROMISE! Love you!

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