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Old 01-28-2003, 10:43 AM   #1
Fas-ligand
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Anyone getting married?

Is anyone working on planning a wedding or just had one? I'm curious what the total costs came out to be for the event.

Also, which is better:
  • Getting a ring and the surprise of it all, or
  • Popping the question and letting her choose the engagement ring?
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Old 01-28-2003, 10:51 AM   #2
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I've already popped the question, so to speak, but she doesn't have a ring yet... her parents aren't exactly the "Oh, you just got engaged and that is nice" type. Anyway, when we do make it official, I'm going to take her out to pick a ring with me.
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Old 01-28-2003, 12:45 PM   #3
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Re: Anyone getting married?

nope

but thanks for asking. lots of other people ask me the same question.....why must everyone pry into my life?

j/k.

i'm getting married someday....in a few years. and when i do, the question will be a surprise, as will the ring. yes, there are arguments for why my GF should help pick out the ring. but this is just another way of deliciously torturing her, because she hates surprises

as for cost, one of my friends got married last year and the number $10k sticks in my head. but i don't know exactly....
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Old 01-28-2003, 01:33 PM   #4
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Did you guys check out the show last night? Bridezillas!!! I hope a 100K wedding is not the normal price. One woman got a 15K ring and then she whined about a matching diamond necklace. Next thing you know the po' bastard bought it.

They also had one lady give instructions on how to hang her wedding dress to the guy as she got out of the car. When he asked for a kiss she slammed the door on him.

Anyways...I like to surprise ppl. The trick is to be creative and not just slip it on when their sleeping like my cousin did.
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Old 01-28-2003, 01:50 PM   #5
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My sister got married three years ago and I want to say that it cost about 6k, but she did have help from our family. I know that her in-laws did the flowers and pictures, and our aunt made the cake all for free. I think I remember the dress and the invitations being the most expensive. Oh, and she didn't have to rent a place, we used our church's hall for free. So...yeah. It's not cheap!

And me...I'm not getting married, but I know we've talked about it a lot and I'm sure it'll happen after I'm done with school. No need to rush!
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Old 01-28-2003, 02:01 PM   #6
Kim
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My proposal and my ring were both a surprise, just the way I wanted it. As far as our wedding cost, we did everything ourselves, minus the invitations and we didn't spend much at all for a very nice simple ceremony and reception.
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Old 01-28-2003, 02:01 PM   #7
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I've never heard of anyone slipping on the ring while asleep. A good Christmas idea that I thought was creative was to place the ring in a piece of fake coal that opened like a jewelery box. I think she'd be surprised when the coal was found in her stocking. ...but it's not Christmas anymore.
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Old 01-28-2003, 02:07 PM   #8
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I recently got married (1/11/03) and I have to say that if you aren't making lots of money, you better pick the ring out for her. Its rather sad to see couples picking engagement rings and the guy not being able to afford it (which means the girl needs to downgrade...not a pretty sight). I personally think that financing is a joke. No one should have to pay interest on a ring. Borrow from family if you can't afford it, but don't ever finance it.
Also, don't buy anything less than a 1 carat diamond. Preferebly round cut. I've noticed that they retain their value much better than the funky cuts like pear, heart, or princess-cuts.

Also, the actual wedding. Depending on where you live, I just happen to be unfortunate enough to live in the LA/OC area, your wedding costs will vary. It also depends on how you want your wedding done. The average wedding costs I've seen is around 20k, including the engagement ring. This is for around 100 or so guests too.

For us, all our wedding/engagement related expenses totalled over 20k for 120 guests at the Embassy Suites Hotel in Anaheim/Garden Grove.
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Old 01-28-2003, 09:14 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jihforce
I personally think that financing is a joke. No one should have to pay interest on a ring. Borrow from family if you can't afford it, but don't ever finance it.

it's sad to see people who will be making payments on an ring for longer than the marriage will last

in addition, the terms you get from most jewelers are basically the "bend you over, no lube" kind.
Quote:
Originally posted by Jihforce
Also, don't buy anything less than a 1 carat diamond. Preferebly round cut. I've noticed that they retain their value much better than the funky cuts like pear, heart, or princess-cuts.
i definitely agree about getting a round stone. they don't call it an ideal cut for nothing. because a round stone naturally reflects more light, you may be able to sacrifice some color and clarity.

however, on the size issue, while i agree 1-2 ct is a nice range to be in, i think you're better off sacrificing size for quality. for example, if you can get a .75 ct stone with better color and clarity for the same price as a 1ct stone, i think the smaller stone is probably the better choice.

just my opinion though. right now, i'm just hoping i can save up a few thousand over the next few years so that i can get a nice 1.25-1.5 ct stone with good color and clarity.
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Old 01-28-2003, 11:29 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jihforce
I recently got married (1/11/03) ...

Also, don't buy anything less than a 1 carat diamond. Preferebly round cut. I've noticed that they retain their value much better than the funky cuts like pear, heart, or princess-cuts.
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on the marriage, Jih!

Fas-ligand, if you pick out a ring without her, you *should* have a general sense of what she wants/likes. If she has simple taste, she might not want a huge rock on her finger, and if she's an accessory queen, then she'll probably want something more unique ... you get my drift.

Personally, I don't get the big deal with the a diamond solitaire ring. They're obtrusive and snag on clothing ... or maybe I'm just klutzy.
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Old 01-29-2003, 10:41 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by jujubees
Personally, I don't get the big deal with the a diamond solitaire ring. They're obtrusive and snag on clothing ... or maybe I'm just klutzy.
Besides, she's just going to lose it 17 years later while working in the garden. Then you'll have to buy a metal detector from Radio Shack and spend many hot, mosquito infested summer hours seaching. All you'll really acomplish is the removal of every stray nail in the garden, but still no ring.

At least that's what I've heard...
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Old 01-29-2003, 10:43 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by jujubees
Personally, I don't get the big deal with the a diamond solitaire ring. They're obtrusive and snag on clothing ... or maybe I'm just klutzy.
Besides, she's just going to lose it 17 years later while working in the garden. Then you'll have to buy a metal detector from Radio Shack and spend many hot, mosquito infested summer hours seaching. All you'll really acomplish is the removal of every stray nail in the garden, but still no ring.

At least that's what I've heard...
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Old 01-29-2003, 11:31 AM   #13
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Has anyone heard of J.C.Millenium? My g/f likes the unique cut that is called the Infinity. Instead of being round, it has 88 short sides (so it's basically round). The one place that I saw these, they were quite expensive, but were high color and clarity and had a lot of sparkle to them; ~$5,000 for a 3/4 carat. She likes it, so that makes it worth it to me. Any thoughts?

Congrats Jih!
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Old 01-29-2003, 12:31 PM   #14
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get price quotes for a .75ct stone with the exact same color and clarity, but in an ideal-rated round cut, or whatever other shape you like. see what the price difference is, and then decide whether or not it's worth it.

also, be sure to compare this particular cut side-by-side with diamonds of the same size/color/clarity. one trick that i've had jewelers play on me is when they're hyping their oh-so-great method of cutting a diamond, they'll show you their "special cut" diamond next to a stone that's 2-4 grades lower. then say "see how beautiful it is?" no s---, sherlock

cut can make a huge difference in the beauty of a diamond, but just make sure that they're not trying to charge you a big price premium for something that isn't really making a big impact on the beauty of the stone.

also, kb0wwp, it sounds like you know the person that story happened to.....
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Old 01-29-2003, 12:55 PM   #15
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Thanks juju & Fas-ligand!

If the future wife already has an idea as to what she wants, then try to get that if its within your budget. Most jewelers i've been to are, as whitak stated, pretty sneaky. They've pull that same stunt on me before. So be careful.

Personally, I think solitares are nice. Big and sparkly. I got her a wedding band with diamonds in it to complement her engagement ring too. Even I got some bling-bling on mine.
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Old 01-29-2003, 01:47 PM   #16
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btw, jih, is that a pic of your new wife in your avatar?

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Old 01-29-2003, 04:45 PM   #17
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Congratulations Jih!
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Old 01-29-2003, 05:21 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by whitak24
btw, jih, is that a pic of your new wife in your avatar?


Heehee, nah. My wife looks kinda like a brunette version of Britney Spears. She hates it when I say that.

Thanks Jenny
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