Friends with Benefits

gwilks98 · 03-31-2003, 06:23 PM

I've got the sixth sense tingling. Bad news feels like it's on the horizon...

I'm involved in a friends with benefits relationship, though neither one of us will openly admit it. We haven't slept together, but it's plenty serious to be considered more than friends. Well, she is starting to put out the girlfriend vibe and is showing signs of attachment. (Ok ok, so am I.) neither one of us want to be involved long term with the other right now. What's even scarier is I think a few more girls down the line want the same. (No, they don't know each other, so there's no way they know what's going on.)

I have a feeling I'm going to have to make a decision here soon and I'm not sure what to do.

Has anyone ever been in a FwB relationship? How did it turn out?

nickel · 03-31-2003, 07:18 PM

still benefitting

but i thought a friend with benefits meant you were sleeping together

Nija · 03-31-2003, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by nickelback
still benefitting

but i thought a friend with benefits meant you were sleeping together

it does... he has 'friends with occasional perks' going on

look_ma · 03-31-2003, 10:41 PM

lol. Just whip it out one night and either she will go for it or all the benifits will go away. Either way you will get what you want.

DankNstickY · 04-01-2003, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by look_ma
lol. Just whip it out one night and either she will go for it or all the benifits will go away.

i'll try that sometime

my FwB "relationships" have just gotten boring. maybe cus i was in it just for the fun and wasn't really interested in theh girls. so i just stopped talking to them after a while.

mcs328 · 04-01-2003, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Yossarian

no, we are

Ah your response threw me off. So Yoss is and Gwilks isn't. Gotcha. So you can have more than one friend with benefits right. So enjoy them. Hopefully all of them. Together. In the same room. At the same time. All females. And you. With a video camera. Streamed live online into a G|A video chat room.

look_ma · 04-01-2003, 03:29 PM

But seriously, my entire friend's with benefits relationships seem to fail for me because the girls always get too attached. (And no I am not afraid of commitment, just the FWB are NOT long-term relationship material. I am seriously looking for a good girl.

mcs328 · 04-01-2003, 03:45 PM

I understand the whole friends with benefits concept. My question is how did I miss this whole dynamic?!? How does one start an arrangement like this? I never had one or been approached for one or asked for one so I find it strange how easy it seems to create one. Maintaining one however is another story.

look_ma · 04-02-2003, 12:52 AM

My favorite start-up of a friend with benefit relationship is inviting the girl back to my place to watch a movie. Then I stick a chick flick movie in, and when the water works start you cuddle her. Then when the romantic part of the movie comes up, you start kissing (the girl). The rest just gradually progresses from there.

(edited just for you revil)

revil · 04-02-2003, 01:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by look_ma
Then when the romantic part of the movie comes up, you start kissing.

I don't get it. what do you start to kiss? The tv screen?

molecularfire · 04-02-2003, 08:28 AM

Uh... gwilks... hate to break this to you, but you're in the exact opposite of a ftf. From the sounds of it, you're doing the BF stuff but you aren't getting any. I highly suggest you reconsider your strategy...

mcs328 · 04-02-2003, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by molecularfire
Uh... gwilks... hate to break this to you, but you're in the exact opposite of a ftf. From the sounds of it, you're doing the BF stuff but you aren't getting any. I highly suggest you reconsider your strategy...

I'm with you...you're playing the ball and chain game. Switch tactics. You're not supposed to form any attatchment...well except for maybe half a foot but YMMV

chrissy · 04-02-2003, 10:44 PM

First off, you aren't in a FwB if you haven't slept together. Second, if you want to be, there is a couple different ways to do it; each depends on the girl.

First, flat out ask. "have you ever had a benefit type relation?" talk about it. Pick up her vibes. This would have worked on me but I was married at the time. Damn... But it was great talking "shop" with him. (nothing nija type, just past FwB experiences)

Second, you know she is the type, she is making the moves, go for it. Just remember, it cannot be someone that you know has feelings for you, that makes you a jerk.

molecularfire · 04-03-2003, 10:21 AM

Also, it cannot be with someone you have feelings for. That would make you an idiot.

Aardvar11 · 04-06-2003, 03:26 AM

sorry, but in my expierence sooner or later that whole FwB thingy will turn into a gf/bf thing... damnit

gwilks98 · 04-06-2003, 09:52 AM

Just to clarify...there can be and ARE benefits with this girl. We're just not giving each other the full package. (Excuse the pun.)

Momma Kitty · 04-17-2003, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Origionally posted by look_ma

But seriously, my entire friend's with benefits relationships seem to fail for me because the girls always get too attached. (And no I am not afraid of commitment, just the FWB are NOT long-term relationship material. I am seriously looking for a good girl.

I'm not sure how you expect to find a "good girl" by finding girls who would agree to a FwB relationship.

Wouldn't it be easier if you only had snuggle buddies so you could keep yourself open for that "good girl"?

Just a thought...

Booyamos · 04-17-2003, 09:16 PM

I have had a few FwB lately. First one we both just wanted to hook up and no relationships so it worked out well until I moved on to other women, but it was a good situation cause she moved on as well. Another girl we dated then broke up and just continued the benefts part.

From my experience FwB can be good at first, but eventually one person starts to have feelings or wants more than the other and then it gets complicated. I have had other situations where it did not end so well and they just think you were using them for sex.. which I guess technically you are but they are using you too.

So just be honest about it

03-31-2003, 06:23 PM	#1
gwilks98 Vice Admiral Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: StL Posts: 4,300	Friends with Benefits I've got the sixth sense tingling. Bad news feels like it's on the horizon... I'm involved in a friends with benefits relationship, though neither one of us will openly admit it. We haven't slept together, but it's plenty serious to be considered more than friends. Well, she is starting to put out the girlfriend vibe and is showing signs of attachment. (Ok ok, so am I.) neither one of us want to be involved long term with the other right now. What's even scarier is I think a few more girls down the line want the same. (No, they don't know each other, so there's no way they know what's going on.) I have a feeling I'm going to have to make a decision here soon and I'm not sure what to do. Has anyone ever been in a FwB relationship? How did it turn out? __________________ "I know the pieces fit, cause I watched them fall away." "Cold silence has A tendancy to Atrophy any Sense of compassion." MJK

03-31-2003, 07:18 PM	#2
nickel Vice Chairwoman, Joint Chieftess of Staff Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Jeterville, NYY Posts: 17,786	still benefitting but i thought a friend with benefits meant you were sleeping together __________________ click me

04-02-2003, 12:52 AM	#9
look_ma Captain Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Austin Posts: 1,660	My favorite start-up of a friend with benefit relationship is inviting the girl back to my place to watch a movie. Then I stick a chick flick movie in, and when the water works start you cuddle her. Then when the romantic part of the movie comes up, you start kissing (the girl). The rest just gradually progresses from there. (edited just for you revil) Last edited by look_ma : 04-02-2003 at 02:42 AM.

04-02-2003, 08:28 AM	#11
molecularfire Admiral Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Walking through a lemon grove looking for one good orange Posts: 6,134	Uh... gwilks... hate to break this to you, but you're in the exact opposite of a ftf. From the sounds of it, you're doing the BF stuff but you aren't getting any. I highly suggest you reconsider your strategy... __________________ Disclaimer - The above opinion should not be taken as medical advise. My only advise is to talk to your doctor. If you are stupid enough to take anything I say seriously, you have nobody to blame for your cranio-anal inversion but your stupid self. I may not be smart enough to do everything but I am dumb enough to try anything. - Beastboy.

04-17-2003, 09:16 PM	#18
Booyamos Commander Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 1,277	I have had a few FwB lately. First one we both just wanted to hook up and no relationships so it worked out well until I moved on to other women, but it was a good situation cause she moved on as well. Another girl we dated then broke up and just continued the benefts part. From my experience FwB can be good at first, but eventually one person starts to have feelings or wants more than the other and then it gets complicated. I have had other situations where it did not end so well and they just think you were using them for sex.. which I guess technically you are but they are using you too. So just be honest about it __________________ Boo ya Grandma

03-31-2003, 10:41 PM	#4
look_ma Captain Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Austin Posts: 1,660	lol. Just whip it out one night and either she will go for it or all the benifits will go away. Either way you will get what you want.

04-01-2003, 03:29 PM	#7
look_ma Captain Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Austin Posts: 1,660	But seriously, my entire friend's with benefits relationships seem to fail for me because the girls always get too attached. (And no I am not afraid of commitment, just the FWB are NOT long-term relationship material. I am seriously looking for a good girl.

04-01-2003, 03:45 PM	#8
mcs328 Admiral Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Maryland Posts: 6,578	I understand the whole friends with benefits concept. My question is how did I miss this whole dynamic?!? How does one start an arrangement like this? I never had one or been approached for one or asked for one so I find it strange how easy it seems to create one. Maintaining one however is another story.

04-02-2003, 10:44 PM	#13
chrissy Admiral Join Date: May 2000 Location: OKC Posts: 5,046	First off, you aren't in a FwB if you haven't slept together. Second, if you want to be, there is a couple different ways to do it; each depends on the girl. First, flat out ask. "have you ever had a benefit type relation?" talk about it. Pick up her vibes. This would have worked on me but I was married at the time. Damn... But it was great talking "shop" with him. (nothing nija type, just past FwB experiences) Second, you know she is the type, she is making the moves, go for it. Just remember, it cannot be someone that you know has feelings for you, that makes you a jerk.

04-03-2003, 10:21 AM	#14
molecularfire Admiral Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Walking through a lemon grove looking for one good orange Posts: 6,134	Also, it cannot be with someone you have feelings for. That would make you an idiot.

04-06-2003, 03:26 AM	#15
Aardvar11 Lieutenant Junior Grade Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: The OC Posts: 188	sorry, but in my expierence sooner or later that whole FwB thingy will turn into a gf/bf thing... damnit

04-06-2003, 09:52 AM	#16
gwilks98 Vice Admiral Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: StL Posts: 4,300	Just to clarify...there can be and ARE benefits with this girl. We're just not giving each other the full package. (Excuse the pun.)

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