avlena

so every week our school newspaper has ads that offer money for women who donate one of their eggs to get fertilized for some childless couple. Typically they offer $4k, but i've seen $20k (usually with a set of requirements on what the parents are looking for, like height, race, iq, etc). So, out of random curiosity, if someone offered you $20,000 for your egg, would you do it? why or why not?

personally, I don't think i could, because that's still my child wandering around out there... and besides, can you imagine how messed up that kid would be when he found out that his biological mother SOLD him to pay off her student loans or whatever?

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Fas-ligand

It is an interesting question with many ethical issues behind it.

However, seeing the male side, it should probably be grouped with guys donating to sperm banks, which for the record I have not done.

The difference between these issues I believe has mostly to do with social views of the differences between men and women. For a man to donate his genes, it is easily obtained. For a woman, the proceedure is probably pretty invasive, so it is more harmful to a woman to donate than a man.

Secondly, and don't get me wrong here, I didn't think through this all that much, but I believe that what women contribute to a society is considered more sacred, at least in American culture. It is the woman's duty to bring about life. Really it takes two to tango. So I cannot say that it is more or less ethically wrong or right for egg versus sperm donation.

In the end, it's all genetics. The future will probably test our ethical issues even further when DNA from discarded body fluids/parts (skin, etc) can be used to create another living being.

nickel

what a tough question to answer. i can't say positively yes or positively no. i guess the best thing for me is to not get in the situation to have such a dilema.

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Kim

I would do it. The world would be a beautiful place with more of my children in it. (unless all their looks come from my husband, lol)

No really, I would do it to help someone have children who couldn't.

cruelpupet

lets just hope you dont look too much like ensign kim

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Johnnymac

I have heard about this but have never seen an ad for it. My wife and I saw something about this on TV and have discussed it but I don't think she'd opt for it when push came to shove. I guess the only way to tell is to get offered. My personal feeling is that it is her decision to make and I'd support it either way. (but we could use the cash )

-C

mcs328

I might do it if it was a sperm donation. Of course I have allergies and stuff so the chances of someone picking my sperm to father any children would be low to zero. Therefore 20K a pop wouldn't bother me.

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guiseppewv

I am not a woman so I don't have eggs to donate but for $20k I probably would do it. I personally don't think the kid would be messed up I think someone who aids other people in having children is not at all like a kid being put up for adpotion or one that is abandoned. Don't get me wrong I don't think adoption is a bad thing, it is definately better than some of the alternatives. My point about adoption is that a lot of kids who are adpoted wonder about who their biological parents are and this can cause problems.

Actually I had a lady call my house 2 nights ago looking for my sister b/c she thought that my sister might have gone to high school with her brother and sister who were put up for adoption when they were really young. Needless to say I thought it was pretty sad that this girl has been looking for her biological brother and sister for almost 8 years without finding them. Kind of sad. I am actually trying to get in touch with some people I knew in high school and college to see if they might be able to help. Unfortunately I didn't go to the same high school as this girl's biological brother and sister so I could not help.

hapoo

hey i've seen those ads. I thought they were kinda strange.

Don't they make you take hormones so your body spits out eggs left and right? Its gotta mess with your system.

WhiskeyPapa

That's my philosophy in a nutshell.

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InfiniteNothing

I don't know if I'd do it. I'd be too afraid my kids or my grandkids will accidently fall in love with their half brother/cousin

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avlena

hahaha... true that! all those scary genetic probs... does anyone know if being an egg/sperm donor is anonymous? would the couple ever know who the biological parent was?

i know i've eyed the 20k before, especially since it would make all my student loans magically disappear, but i'm still creeped out with the idea of having a kid wandering around out there, especially since i don't plan on ever having kids myself!

nairda9

I believe it can go either way. If the couple was cool with knowing and meeting the donor and vise versa then you can have a relationship with them. My ex donated and at first I was a little oppose to it.
But then when I visited the clinic, and I got to see so many couples who wanted to so much have children, it changed my mind. Not being able to have your own children must be one of the worst feelings in the world. Another option that they have.

xsiled2

wutcha talkin bout youd do it for $300 or a new p4.

tweeteresa

most of the ads i've seen are in the college newspapers, not national journalistic stuff. sperm donation does bring in less value though. i think the most i've seen for sperm is maybe $5k, but that's with a lot of qualifications. i've seen as much as $25k for eggs, which comes with a set of qualifications too. these usually includes race, height, hair/skin/eye color, and IQ among other things.

as for ethic issues regarding that, even though it's very tempting (down payment for my SL55 AMG -- WOOT!) i don't think i can do it. yes many ppl are lookin for children, but there are other options, like adoptions or lab babies. since the egg or sperm isn't fully the couple's, i don't really see the difference in adopting a kid since it is only 50% of the genes of one parent. adoption also saves a lot of unwanted kids whose own parents can't or isn't able to care for them.

hapoo

Feel free to forward me ad for THAT one!
Did i mention i'm a doctor with a 195 IQ who models on the side?

guiseppewv

Don't forget that you compete in the decathalon in the olympics.

attgig

it would be kinda weird..

first thought that came to my head was if I was a female...maybe...

but yeah, thinking about it...would you be more inclined to do it for a friend? Let's say your best friend was barren, and they wanted children. You know them, and trust them, and you want to ehlp them out. but it would kinda weird me out thinking that was my child in their home....something about it isn't quite right.

another thought...perhaps if you could screen the couple who would be receiving the egg...knowing that they're well off, and that they'll provide the child with much love and care. dunno if i would do it...but yeah...

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Fas-ligand

hmm....the part about "...thinking that was my child..." can give this issue a twist. Maybe you weren't meaning it this way, but hear me out. Saying "my child" implies ownership, which one could say is not true for any human being over another. We are all our own keepers. But if you are implying ownership, then it might be like a friend having the car you bought (at a really mundane level, I'm not saying children are equivalent in value to a car, I just thought of the first relatively important inanimate object that is important). That might be strange in some situations and maybe not in others. At first it might bother you that the genetics of that child is 1/2 yours, but in the long run, assuming this thought doesn't eat away at you, the friend would probably be very thankful for your deed. Take that into account.

attgig

sigh...
semantics..
is it wrong to say my mom? or my dad? or my sister?
I'm not implying ownership or any of that crap.....

Fas-ligand

...and as I stated in my last post, I wasn't implying that you were, it just gave me a spin-off idea on the subject, an angle that people usually don't explore. I realize people don't think of their parents/siblings as their property, but I'll bet there are parents that believe that about their children.

guiseppewv

I agree with attgig. I personally feel that it was a pointless angle b/c it was all semantics.

Fas-ligand

...sorry for the idea then

...twas just a thought

guiseppewv

No problemo, everyone has a right to voice their thoughts.

Nija

it's not your child. It's not your anything, cept genes. At best it's your offspring, but you should have no claim, or feelings for it, because you aren't the parents, all you are, is an outside observer, at least that's my take on it.

(i figure this is outside the semantics issue )

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guiseppewv

biologically speaking the child is still YOUR offspring.

attgig

exactly..

it's like an adopted child searching for their biological parents (there's been tons of sitcoms and movies about it). They're still your parents....

Nija

and that is where it ends. The child isn't your son/daughter. Your not it's parent. To be a parent, you need to do something more than have sex and pop the child out. If you give a child up for adoption, you were basically just a sperm donor /egg carrier, therefore you don't get any title or anything for the child, and the same for the child

(did that make sense? and is this the beginning of us going in a circle?)

cheapie

what??? you're totally missing out...

(btw, i'm not at all saying you're not correct in your decision. i just used to feel somewhat like that and everything is different now that i have a son. of course, i'm not going to have a village like whiskeypapa=)

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