I Bet You Wish You Didn't Say That.

look_ma · 05-13-2003, 10:00 PM

i got this from the{PAF} forums... enjoy!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could take back the words you just spoke or crawl into a hole? Here are a few people who felt that way...

1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blowjob? I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn'tsay a word ... he knew better. Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin, TX

2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking,I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls." Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI

3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the young man behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the young man grinned, and I turned red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD

4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter. Amy Richardson, Stafford, Virginia

5. A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?" Diane E. Amov

6. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands.It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco,I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

7. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Freelance Superhero · 05-14-2003, 04:46 AM

#4 and #7... precious...

hoey222 · 05-14-2003, 05:14 AM

ROFL

that was good stuff.....

guiseppewv · 05-14-2003, 07:52 AM

LMAO, those are oldies but goodies.

cheapie · 05-14-2003, 09:04 AM

i can totally see my boy doing that. when he needs his diaper changed, everyone in earshot can hear him say, "daddy, POOP!!!"

whitak24 · 05-14-2003, 09:42 AM

i love those. they always make me laugh

RoniMan · 05-14-2003, 11:38 AM

#7 hilarious

attgig · 05-14-2003, 11:45 AM

hahahahahahaha

aww man...
good laugh in the middle of a workday is always good

thanks

johnnymk · 05-14-2003, 12:25 PM

Spectacular!! Absolutely spectacular!!

tweeteresa · 05-14-2003, 01:01 PM

knew i read it before...

http://www.gotapex.com/forums/showth...light=kids+say (7 Reasons to crawl under a rock.)

mcs328 · 05-14-2003, 01:31 PM

That is soooo funny!!

avlena · 05-14-2003, 02:30 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... that's great!!!

05-13-2003, 10:00 PM	#1
look_ma Captain Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Austin Posts: 1,660	I Bet You Wish You Didn't Say That. i got this from the{PAF} forums... enjoy! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could take back the words you just spoke or crawl into a hole? Here are a few people who felt that way... 1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blowjob? I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn'tsay a word ... he knew better. Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin, TX 2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking,I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls." Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI 3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the young man behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the young man grinned, and I turned red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD 4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter. Amy Richardson, Stafford, Virginia 5. A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?" Diane E. Amov 6. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands.It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco,I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had! 7. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

05-14-2003, 04:46 AM	#2
Freelance Superhero Optimus Prime Join Date: May 2002 Location: in bed Posts: 4,116	#4 and #7... precious... __________________ "I can't believe you can eat that; it looks like abortion." - Augusta, of the Tard-Blog

05-14-2003, 11:45 AM	#8
attgig Chief of Naval Operations Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the burbs of baltimore Posts: 11,924	hahahahahahaha aww man... good laugh in the middle of a workday is always good thanks __________________

05-14-2003, 01:31 PM	#11
mcs328 Admiral Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Maryland Posts: 6,578	That is soooo funny!! __________________

05-14-2003, 02:30 PM	#12
avlena Captain Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: So-Cal Posts: 1,691	HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... that's great!!! __________________ Have a groovy day!

05-14-2003, 05:14 AM	#3
hoey222 Rear Admiral Lower Half Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: a little more to the left Posts: 2,426	ROFL that was good stuff.....

05-14-2003, 07:52 AM	#4
guiseppewv Admiral Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: East coast Posts: 7,116	LMAO, those are oldies but goodies.

05-14-2003, 09:04 AM	#5
cheapie Chief of Naval Operations Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: raising my pimp hand strong Posts: 13,038	i can totally see my boy doing that. when he needs his diaper changed, everyone in earshot can hear him say, "daddy, POOP!!!"

05-14-2003, 09:42 AM	#6
whitak24 easily amused Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: my office Posts: 9,781	i love those. they always make me laugh

05-14-2003, 11:38 AM	#7
RoniMan Admiral Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Temple City, CA Posts: 5,140	#7 hilarious

05-14-2003, 12:25 PM	#9
johnnymk Chief of Naval Operations Join Date: May 2000 Location: LEVITTOWN< PA> USA Posts: 13,621	Spectacular!! Absolutely spectacular!!

05-14-2003, 01:01 PM	#10
tweeteresa Captain Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 1,621	knew i read it before... http://www.gotapex.com/forums/showth...light=kids+say (7 Reasons to crawl under a rock.)

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

User Name
Password
Remember Me?