Ladogaboy

So, a few months ago, my girlfriend and I broke up (her idea), and we had been together for almost three years. As of this date, it's pretty close to 4 months that we have been apart, and I feel that I am over her and ready to move on. My friends, on the other hand, think that I am still grieving/rebounding, and they think I should avoid any type of real relationship for a while. Normally, I'd agree with them because I was planning on making some changes to my personal and professional life, and I had kind of promised myself that I wouldn't pursue anything until I was emotionally, financially, and personally ready for a relationship.

But... something came up. I know, I know... something always does. Anyway, I've recently been put back in "the mix", so to speak, with someone that I've had a crush on for almost 6 years on. Normally, my course of action would be to rekindle our friendship and move slowly--which is also what my friends have suggested--, but I am also worried by the fact that her friends and family have been constantly trying to set her up for the last year or so. And she always gives someone a chance before she rejects them.

So, my dilemma is: should I rush things--which I really don't want to do, or should I bide my time and take things slow. I've also been mulling over the idea that I might let her know how I feel and that I'm not quite sure if I am ready for a relationship yet.

One of the main things I want to make sure of, though, is that I am interested in HER and not just getting over my ex. Ugh...

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It is not enough to merely touch the face of god; you also must open your eyes so that you may see your palm.

molecularfire

JMO... Tell her, and let her make the call.

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Disclaimer - The above opinion should not be taken as medical advise. My only advise is to talk to your doctor. If you are stupid enough to take anything I say seriously, you have nobody to blame for your cranio-anal inversion but your stupid self.

I may not be smart enough to do everything but I am dumb enough to try anything. - Beastboy.

hoey222

in this case i'd rush it - it might be easier to doo too much then back off/slow down if you have to later

ski

Yeah... things are most definitely smoother all around when you make other people stop guessing and let them know what you're thinking.

I can tell you though, I've dated 22 girls in the past year (a year ago my relationship with the only girl I can say I've loved ended) so looking back, I NEEDED to have been single during those times because I was on a crash course I'm currently dedicatedly single now because I can't handle it anymore... but if you think you're ready to move on, I hope you do well with your decisions!

Merlin

Don't miss a window of opportunity. You'll regret it later. If something good is there you'll find a way to be "ready"

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RoniMan

rebound isn't necessary a bad thing if handled the right way.

gl to you.

whitak24

i agree with merlin.

if you've been watching her for 6 years, there's obviously something there. to not explore it is going to make you always ask "what if?"

if i were you though, i'd try to find out why she's been in the "hunt and dump" mode before you get in too deep. easier said than done, of course....

Ladogaboy

Well, I *think* that I already know the reason for this, and, actually, I think there are two reasons for it. One, she has been set-up with most of the guys, and I believe that she would rather be the one setting herself up. Two, she is the kind of person that has to be friends first, and I'm pretty sure that most of those guys didn't approach her in the capacity of a friend.

whitak24

well, both those explainations make plenty of sense.

and if you want my opinion on it, they both make her an even better catch.

i say go for it. just make sure you stay aware of the dynamics of the realtionship (ie are you trying to make her behave in certain ways to "replace" your ex?) and you should be fine. of course, knowing you, you'll be cognizant of that stuff anyway

Ladogaboy

Heh, you have too much faith, whitak24... Everyone is stupid in their own way.

brainsmile

if you're not gonna call her share her # with some of the single guys in G|A... does this belong in got deals?

Ladogaboy

:laugh2: