PERSONALS: are they for real?

caribiner23 · 12-22-2003, 09:27 AM

I'm not a bar- or club-person, and being a single parent I've been less than thrilled with the available people I've met in the circles I move in. I decided I needed an alternative.

I looked through match.com and thought it was one big awful singles bar. And I figured most of the profiles were either fake or really, really stretches of the poster's imagination and wishful thinking.

The only person who I knew was real on that site was my ex

and I was able to read between the lines on her ad.

My current friend and I met through eHarmony.com. The commercials may be a little hokey, but in our case it worked exactly as advertised-- I keep telling her I think she's a ringer for the company.

To get listed with them, you have to go through a questionnaire that takes 30-40 minutes to complete, their objective being to get a clear idea of your personality, likes/dislikes, etc. Then you enter your matching criteria (how close to my home, smoker/nonsmoker, kids/no kids, etc.) and then
they do the matching for you.

When they find a match for you, they send you an email telling you so (I usually got an average of 5-6 new matches a week). You can then look at the other person's profile (and they can see yours), and if either of you decide to start communicating, you can do so. If you want to drop the other person, you can do that, too.

If you decide to communicate (you have to pay at this point), you are guided through a few levels of questions to ask each other, starting with "canned" questions and gradually getting more "free form." Once you've hit the last level, you can essentially email freely within the system.

The nice thing is that all you know about the other person is their first name, the town they live in, their age, and what they do for a living, and a photo if they've posted one. If it turns out the person you're matched with is (worst case) a psycho or something, you can bail out at any point in the process, and they can't contact you again.

If you decide to take it to the next level of a phone call and/or meeting, you've got to use your judgment, of course.

In my case, it was really interesting because I met this woman and we already knew so much about each other that we went right past all that first-date small talk crap. We both walked into this thing with similar values, ideals, etc. And the chemistry was right there at the moment we met.

Just suggesting it in case you wanted an alternative. Good luck!

ray · 12-22-2003, 09:54 AM

Didn't Twee post a Yahoo! personal "for fun"?

I think that many of them personals are either jokes, dares or from people who have no intention of actually meeting someone through it. My cousin was so tempted to sign up for Match.com, but after she browsed through some of the "sketchy" profiles, she didn't want to post any of her information on there, let alone a photograph.

Nija · 12-22-2003, 11:25 AM

alt.com

is good to you

from what i hear....

ray · 12-22-2003, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nija
alt.com

is good to you

from what i hear....

yeah, i'm quite familiar with that website.

oblongmelon · 12-22-2003, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by chosenfool
out of sheer boredom, i decided to wade thru pages and pages of personal ads in yahoo within 50 miles of a city here.

man, are these girls for real? i mean, they range from skanky to alright to wowza! i cant imagine these people actually putting themselves thru such a wacky situation, where they can be seen or contacted via those ads.
is it because theyre THAT unlucky with relationships? is it cuz theyre very lonely? is it a good way to meet new people? or are they just naive? is it cuz theyre living in a very small circle of friends/family/work associates that they dont know how else to meet others?
i must admit, some of the girls in the pictures are photogenic - they dont look bad at all. of course, some of them are borderline too. but some are what i would consider to be very beautiful.
makes you wanna ask again if theres something wrong with the people around them, if it isnt the women putting up these ads.
i guess i can say im a bit biased - ive never placed an ad nor met anyone thru an ad (well, duh! i would need to place an ad if thats to happen). but i never considered placing personal ads to meet other people. i always thought it as hokey, and just reeks of desperation.
i dunno, i may just be old-fashioned, where to find a S.O. is to actually MEET each other in real time. its so much easier to talk to someone when you can hear their voice, and look into their eyes, see how they react to what you say or do.

what do YOU think?

HEY-whatever it takes right? ..ps..the co-worker to whom i changed her profile still has NOT found a date..lol

ski · 12-22-2003, 10:40 PM

www.hotornot.com
www.bangme.net

I've used Meet Me at hotornot and BangMe.net to meet people, all in all, I've met about 15 ladies from these sites, most go to my college. There have only been 1-2 psychos, but many of them, I consider them now to be friends just like other friends I'd meet "in real life"

I dig the online scene

I have to get out of it now that I have a gf, doh!

tweeteresa · 12-23-2003, 02:10 AM

i had a profile on yahoo. it was out of a dare and out of fun, just to see how many respsonses i'd get. and i was hella surprised cuz i got a lot. i only replied to about 1-2% of them though. and the ones that i did reply to, they were normal average guys. communication was kept mostly strictly online so i wasn't too worried.

it was an interesting experience for the most part. i had guys from 18 to mid 50's contacting me. (i'm 21 btw)

guys from every ethnic background and profession too. about 90% of them i think just focused on the picture and didn't read what i wrote cuz if they did, about 2/3 of them shouldn't have contacted me. there were also a good # of guys who just repeatedly contacted me even though i ignored them or said i wasn't interested.

overall, it helped boost my ego.

Jcranmer · 12-23-2003, 08:48 AM

I will say that after a post about 3somes on here at one point, my wife and I signed up for an "adult" based personal service. We have had a few responces from people in our area, but either they didn't have pictures posted or didn't we didn't really "click" with them, so we haven't followed through with anything.

I guess it all depends on what you are looking for as to if these sites work. I can't imagine them working out all that well for people looking for long term relationships. Now on the other hand if you are looking for a series of one night stands or a friends with benifits situation, who knows might really work out well.

12-22-2003, 09:27 AM	#1
caribiner23 Commander Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Chicago Posts: 1,127	I'm not a bar- or club-person, and being a single parent I've been less than thrilled with the available people I've met in the circles I move in. I decided I needed an alternative. I looked through match.com and thought it was one big awful singles bar. And I figured most of the profiles were either fake or really, really stretches of the poster's imagination and wishful thinking. The only person who I knew was real on that site was my ex and I was able to read between the lines on her ad. My current friend and I met through eHarmony.com. The commercials may be a little hokey, but in our case it worked exactly as advertised-- I keep telling her I think she's a ringer for the company. To get listed with them, you have to go through a questionnaire that takes 30-40 minutes to complete, their objective being to get a clear idea of your personality, likes/dislikes, etc. Then you enter your matching criteria (how close to my home, smoker/nonsmoker, kids/no kids, etc.) and then they do the matching for you. When they find a match for you, they send you an email telling you so (I usually got an average of 5-6 new matches a week). You can then look at the other person's profile (and they can see yours), and if either of you decide to start communicating, you can do so. If you want to drop the other person, you can do that, too. If you decide to communicate (you have to pay at this point), you are guided through a few levels of questions to ask each other, starting with "canned" questions and gradually getting more "free form." Once you've hit the last level, you can essentially email freely within the system. The nice thing is that all you know about the other person is their first name, the town they live in, their age, and what they do for a living, and a photo if they've posted one. If it turns out the person you're matched with is (worst case) a psycho or something, you can bail out at any point in the process, and they can't contact you again. If you decide to take it to the next level of a phone call and/or meeting, you've got to use your judgment, of course. In my case, it was really interesting because I met this woman and we already knew so much about each other that we went right past all that first-date small talk crap. We both walked into this thing with similar values, ideals, etc. And the chemistry was right there at the moment we met. Just suggesting it in case you wanted an alternative. Good luck! Last edited by caribiner23 : 12-22-2003 at 09:31 AM.

12-22-2003, 11:25 AM	#3
Nija Chief of Naval Operations Join Date: May 2001 Location: City of The Dead Posts: 13,552	alt.com is good to you from what i hear.... __________________ "Nija is the dark soul of gotapex. We don't like to talk about him." - LPMiller

12-22-2003, 10:40 PM	#6
ski Admiral Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Utah Posts: 5,420	www.hotornot.com www.bangme.net I've used Meet Me at hotornot and BangMe.net to meet people, all in all, I've met about 15 ladies from these sites, most go to my college. There have only been 1-2 psychos, but many of them, I consider them now to be friends just like other friends I'd meet "in real life" I dig the online scene I have to get out of it now that I have a gf, doh! __________________ And closer...

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12-22-2003, 09:54 AM	#2
ray captain awesome Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 7,054	Didn't Twee post a Yahoo! personal "for fun"? I think that many of them personals are either jokes, dares or from people who have no intention of actually meeting someone through it. My cousin was so tempted to sign up for Match.com, but after she browsed through some of the "sketchy" profiles, she didn't want to post any of her information on there, let alone a photograph.

12-23-2003, 02:10 AM	#7
tweeteresa Captain Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 1,621	i had a profile on yahoo. it was out of a dare and out of fun, just to see how many respsonses i'd get. and i was hella surprised cuz i got a lot. i only replied to about 1-2% of them though. and the ones that i did reply to, they were normal average guys. communication was kept mostly strictly online so i wasn't too worried. it was an interesting experience for the most part. i had guys from 18 to mid 50's contacting me. (i'm 21 btw) guys from every ethnic background and profession too. about 90% of them i think just focused on the picture and didn't read what i wrote cuz if they did, about 2/3 of them shouldn't have contacted me. there were also a good # of guys who just repeatedly contacted me even though i ignored them or said i wasn't interested. overall, it helped boost my ego.

12-23-2003, 08:48 AM	#8
Jcranmer Commander Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Pekin, IN Posts: 1,377	I will say that after a post about 3somes on here at one point, my wife and I signed up for an "adult" based personal service. We have had a few responces from people in our area, but either they didn't have pictures posted or didn't we didn't really "click" with them, so we haven't followed through with anything. I guess it all depends on what you are looking for as to if these sites work. I can't imagine them working out all that well for people looking for long term relationships. Now on the other hand if you are looking for a series of one night stands or a friends with benifits situation, who knows might really work out well.

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