eSDee

Could she be joking? Or was she serious? Almost 2 1/2 years and its gone gone gone

__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~
3 days ~ Willie Nelson

3 days I dread to see arrive
3 days I hate to be alive
3 days filled with tears and sorrow
yesterday today and tomorrow

baggio248

Sorry man, I've been there too. It's rough now, but it will get better. I agree give her about a week and then see.

__________________
Peter: Lois, you've got a sick mind!
Lois: Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter: Oh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.

ski

Lay low for a week or two and give her some space. If she was joking, she'll come back of course. If she wasn't, that time is crucial for her to gather her thoughts.

I'm hoping for the best, mang.

__________________
And closer...

caribiner23

*Ouch*, SD.

Like the others said, give it a week or two and then see what happens. Two years is a long time and to just split like that is kinda strange.

oblongmelon

did you buy her a ring for xmas? If not -maybe thats the problem..who the hell wants to wait longer than two years to get the big guns..(1 carat or more)

eSDee

Thanks for your support everyone. I am definitely going to let her have some time before I give her a call to see if we can salvage the relationship. Honestly I would say chances are about 20% that we will.


It actually happened at 10pm on New Years Eve, so it was the worst new years ever as you can imagine. We were having a nice dinner at a great Italian restaurant when our argument began. We had been at ends with eachother so this was supposed to be kind of a reconciliation dinner. It didn't end up that way. I'll spare the details but after dinner we ended up yelling at eachother in my truck, and that's how she ended our conversation as she slammed my truck door shut It's been a difficult few days for me and I am sure for her as well. I love her very much but there are some key issues between us that might make it better that we break it off now instead of later.



Fortunately she isn't a gold digger like a lot of women so that wasn't the issue. This girl is extremely bright and has a lot of goals in her future(including heading out to Yale for a MFA in a year or two). Although she does want to get married and have kids, it is not an option at this point in her life.

Thanks again everyone.

ShawnLee

I don't know dude. It doesn't sound like she was joking, but it does seem like it was said in the heat of the moment. Hopefully, you can talk to her after a cooling off period, and start a dialogue. I wish you the best of luck.

__________________

eSDee

I hear you man she definitely wasn't joking. I'm pretty confused about the whole thing.

oblongmelon

ok listen to me..LISTEN..IT'S OVER TWO YEARS. OF COURSE she said she is not at the point in her life to get married and have babies-she did that for YOUR BENEFIT so you dont panic and take of running out of fear of committment..of COURSE she does want to be married and have babies! ..trust me on this one..being a gold digger has NOTHING to do with it-nothing at all,I bet if you had made the effort to even give her a cigar band-she'd still be with you-thats the problem with men...they don't see how good they have something till it's gone. SMARTEN UP. Make and attempt to get her back-but this time do it with a promise and a ring. If she says no-you're past your allotted forgiveness quota and you're F*cked.

Kim

I'm so sorry eSDee, good luck to you!

__________________
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
--Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Emqtee

Sorry things are so messed up for you right now. Sounds like things were said out of anger. I am sure that she will regret saying that she never wants to see you again. After going out with someone for that length of time it is very difficult to just cut them out of your life.

Give her a little space. As much as it totally sucks now, it may turn out to be alright. It will give you time to really think about what you want and decide whether the issues you two have can be worked out or not.

__________________
Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results.
--Anonymous

LPMiller

I = personal pronoun, meaning the person speaking
Never = not if you were the last man on earth, not if you were the last dildo in the adult book store, not before the end of time, nor after
Want = desire
See = look, use optical orbs for viewing other objects, people, things
You = not me
Again = repetition of event

So, what she means is, give her a call. A week is far too long to let people stew. Seriously, the longer you go, the worse it will be.

__________________
lpmiller
Chief News Editor
Nobel Prize Nominee
Reverend in the Universal Life Church
Once Shot A Man For Snoring Too Loud
Way Too Lazy To Change His Signature

"The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference." - Calvin and Hobbes

sbp

foo on this "its always the guys fault" view. If eSDeeLoco said he wanted to get married and have kids, he'd be portrayed as pressuring her.

Reality is sometimes women are commitment-phobic and don't appreciate a good guy.

Heck, this one was willing to throw away almost 2 1/2 years just like that.

Our guy eSDeeLoco deserves to be treated better. I think it time for him to play the field and let other ladies out there have a shot on what they've been missing.

Grubbie

It also depends on how old you are.... I have been with my gf for almost 5 yrs now, but its nto the same since we met in highschool and are still together throughout college. But who wants to get married when you live on opposite sides of the country?

Sorry to hear eSDeeLoco, like most are saying, give her tmie to calm down. Not sure how long it is, cause sometimes waiting too long pisses them off more. 5-7days does sound right though.

molecularfire

My advice for what it's worth...
1) Send her something sweet now as an apology gift.

2) Call her in a week and have a serious talk.


If you guys break up, so be it. But from your tone, sounds like you think this is worth fighting for.

__________________
Disclaimer - The above opinion should not be taken as medical advise. My only advise is to talk to your doctor. If you are stupid enough to take anything I say seriously, you have nobody to blame for your cranio-anal inversion but your stupid self.

I may not be smart enough to do everything but I am dumb enough to try anything. - Beastboy.

caribiner23

From your mouth to God's ears, sbp.

I've come to the conclusion that while a lot of women say they want a nice guy, a good portion of them don't know what to do with him once they have one. Then it's blamed on a dysfunctional childhood, a bad previous marriage, a bad previous relationship, etc.

SD, thoughts are with you, buddy. If you think it's worth fighting for, I think molecularfire's approach is the best.

Nija

I'm gonna go out and venture that she doesn't want to see you again.

/me tries not reading into anything

/blissfully ignorant

and if a woman leaves you because you don't put a ring on her finger, well then she didn't deserve the ring to begin with.

__________________

"Nija is the dark soul of gotapex. We don't like to talk about him." - LPMiller

nickel

i think she might not mean it and said it in the heat of the moment.

i would give her some time. distance makes the heart grow fonder.

__________________
*click me*

cheapie

do you have to give the beer glass back?

__________________
70% of the world is covered by water. The rest is covered by Bob Sanders

nickel

oh gawd cheapie, you nut

eSDee

Some excellent ideas and caring hearts here. Thanks for helping me bounce this around. I think I will follow a few peoples advice and give her a little time, but send her something nice to let her know that I am thinking about her. I do know that I cannot let all that that we have built together be destroyed in a few moments. I know that I have to see if there is any chance at working out, otherwise if I don't then years down the road I will be wondering if I did all I could do. That is something that I don't want to have to wonder, so I'll do it now. If it is meant to be then it will happen, otherwise I'll move on.

Cheapie if it doesn't work out I'll send you the beer mug

Thanks everyone!

Leebo

Hope it all works out. Also good to see your attitude towards it all.

__________________
oHai!

InfiniteNothing

Hey bro, I know how that must suck. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I think some women need to grow up and understand the importance of sticking together. It always pisses me off how easily some of them can slip out of love. I'm in a similar situation. Sometimes I think damn, why is something this bad happening to me and I try and explain it with "Everything happens for a reason", "Everything was for the best", etc. but I'm not really sure if any of that is true. But what can you do?
Well, I've been trying to regain some self confidence to be happy again. All you can do is go out there and do what makes you happy. When you work, work hard; when you play, play hard. Good luck man and I hope you get what ever will make you happy.

__________________
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals.

avlena

not true... for most people, the ultimate climax of a relationship is to marry and live happily ever after. I plan on having a successful tech career, working my way up to upper mgmt, etc... but i would also like to come home to a loving husband at night.

that said... why would you continue something that you don't believe will meet your goals? if marriage is one of my goals, and i come to the conclusion that my signifant other is never gonna propose, then why stay in the relationship? why waste my time if it isn't going anywhere? doesn't mean i'm less worthy of a ring, doesn't mean i love the guy any less... it just means the relationship doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

I'm not sure we can say this is the case in eSDee's situation (i don't think there's a deadline for engagement, it's more about how the relationship grows). it just sounds like you guys had a doozy of a fight, and now you'll have to work things out. on the up point, if you guys manage to work your way through this, you'll probably be ready for all the other curveballs life will throw!! good luck!!

ps: i like molecularfire's suggestion btw... it'd work with me! sending flowers as an apology is cliche, but heck, it works!

__________________
Have a groovy day!

zenbooty

What's it mean? It means a trip to Vegas is in order, with lots of time set aside for b*tches and blow!

__________________
Common sense is what tells you the Earth is flat.

Nija

You don't deserve the ring, just because you've been with the person. You deserve the ring when the person gives it to you, as far as I'm concerned. Now if the person is never going to give you the ring, and then by all means, leave if the ring is what you are looking for. but don't think you deserve it, and then you don't get it.

Maybe the guy (i'm being generic here so as not to say anything about eSDee or his relationship, since i know nothing of it) doesn't want to get marrried, ever. maybe the guy doesn't want to get married to you. whatever.

did that explain what I meant? I was trying to keep it fairly gender neutral because I believe that a woman can propose to, and the same rules should apply for them.




that too

nickel

yeh, take Nija's advice on women. he is looking for the opportunity to break a woman's jaw.

Nija

hey, thanks for keeping it in one thread, so only those who had already ventured there know about your hate of me. BTW, i thought you had me on ignore? great so your a liar too, thanks for admitting to that too!

goddamn woman, grow the hell up

nickel

wanna meet up so you can say that in person and then hit me?
i'm up for it.

oh and stfu

Nija

wow your really intent on this me hitting you, aren't you? I'm sure you can find a more local Dom for your beating needs.

Besides, if you will read what your mis-quoting, I said I would love for you to hit me, so I could break your jaw. So your bitchy-unrelenting-to-get-the-last-word-in ass can get it right. would you like me to put it in my sig so you can see it all the time? oh, wait, you have me on ignore... I could never have told

Sorry eSDee for bringing this trash into your thread.