look_ma

So the semester is almost over and I have been hanging out with this one chick for the past month before and after our one class we have together. Last week I saw her around noon on campus and asked her if she wanted to go to lunch and hang out, she said she had already eaten. The follow school day we had class we were hanging out that morning and she was like “let’s have lunch” I was like cool. So we met up and went to this little restaurant, and I picked up the tab of course being the gentleman I am (still thought this was a casual lunch, not a date). So we have ordered and are eating, and she was asking some basic questions and I was firing them back. THEN she pops the question: “Are you Christian?” OUT OF NOWHERE, I was blind-sided like an 18-wheeler hitting a Neon. She was then like “That’s good you are Christian because if you weren’t we would just could only be friends, that’s it”. Now she doesn’t go to church, so why did she ask me this/ why does this matter so much to ask on the first “date”. I notice most people do not talk about their religion on the GA forums, but I will. I am a Christian, maybe not a shining example by any means, and can be an @$$hole at times too. So we got that out of the way, I then realized at this point it was a date (I am not clueless about this stuff, just thought she had a boyfriend for some reason which she currently does not). While eating, her mom (she still lives at home) calls and ask where she is at, she says she is with me and sorry for not calling. I was like “how does she know me?”, her response was “She knows who you are, I have talked about you to her”. Now I am like ultra wtf because is it common for girls to talk to their parents about their current boyfriend situation? (btw she talked to her mom in a good connotation about me). Main thing is, and I am going to tell her this, is that I don’t want her mom knowing everything about our relationship; I mean I am dating you, not your mom.


Feel free to tell me if I am being unreasonable.

Have not dated in at least 2 years, mainly because I work 40-50 hours a week, and go to school almost full time. Feel free to give me some tips or any good trigger questions.

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Kevster

I think you might be overreacting a little bit here. Women will usually tell a confidant (in this case, her mother) what's going on in her life, especially if it is about something she hopes might turn into something more. Obviously she thinks that might happen since she started asking you "feeler" questions to get a better idea about you and see if you two might be compatible.

Being aquaintences is one thing, friends another, but being involved in a relationship with someone goes to another level and she didn't beat around the bush and went straight for the big questions. I think it shows she's more interested in you than you might have thought. If it were me, I wouldn't think too much into it at the beginning of a relationship. I found out later on that my in-laws knew who I was after my first date with my then future-wife.

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My small adventures, my fears.
The small ones that seemed so big,
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And the light that fills the world.

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Leebo

Congrats?

I agree with Kevster about overreacting. Girls just like to talk to someone they're close to about certain "interests". Just see how it goes. :-D What's the worst that could happen?

And being a Christian, shouldn't you pray about it? (sorry if this is in violation of the rules)

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blueindian

hah...some girls are just close with their moms like that. man, my mother-in-law knows everything about me and has since way before my wife and I got married.

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yeah, pretty much we missed the boat on that one. but it's still here. get you some.

look_ma

Thanks guys for the info, never thought about it like that.


Personally that drive me ape sh!t, but that is life.

I guess it is good that she is not beating around the bush and is more direct, I guess I am not used to it.

DarkFury

Wow... sounds like you are "in like Flynn" to me.

So when's the wedding date set?



(j/k... )

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look_ma

ah, you got me. She is marriage material, in like 5 years minimum. A girl you would take home to mom and pop. Called her tonight (sunday) to see if she wanted go to a movie, 9:30 showing. She said it was too late adn her parents would not let her, super lame. (I think she is 18 or 19, only wieghs 98 lbs too ). May try to do something with her next weekend Something like a suhsi joint, or korean bbq. I want to bring her bag to the pad and watch a movie, but I usually save this move for date 3.

mcs328

you lucky bast*rd...you know how many girls throw themselves at guys...near zero. You got one you like and let you know (in what I think is in a tactful way) that she does too. You lucky lucky man. Enjoy!!!

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WhiskeyPapa

look_ma, go get a copy of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris and read it as soon as you can. This might give you a glimpse into your potential girlfriend's mind. She seems to be following some of the advice given in this book.

This girl sounds like a real gem (worth far above rubies, if you know what I mean), don't screw this up...

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Cantacuzene

I predict this will end with you thinking she is insane.

Maarchk

Why does it bug you that you have been talked about? Thats usually a positive thing. I mention to my family about girls that i talk to or like and i neglect to mention all the trashy ones i hang out with.
And i think she is just close with her fam. Granted its a little worrisome, but do you have anythihng to worry about? My guess is she just mentions you as a friend.
I would say so far its a good sign. unless you find out her mom knows your every detail... then its a little scary.

Good luck, cause i think you like her

M

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Nija

most "feeler" q's aren't supposed to be noticed.

i'd say movely & keep tour head down

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InfiniteNothing

OR just her being insane and him not noticing.

Watch out for those WTF flags. The mystery may enthrall you now but before long it'll just be wtf. Rule of thumb: it's not just a quirk (in general, not case specific)

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ray

Well it sounds like she's been interested in you for a while, thus the reason why her mother knows everything about you. Regardless of age, I think that most women will still ask their mother's for relationship advice...moreso as they get older.

I think you're overreacting a bit, but my first instinct if I were in your shoes would be "WTF" as well. Good luck with it all, i'm sure things will work themselves out.

BrewMaster

she's a Christian and wants to date only Christians. her choice, and luckily for you, you fit the description. good luck man. take it slow.

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DarkFury

Yeah... cause next thing ya know... He's doin' "the Missionary".

oblongmelon

Good for her for being upfront and honest. She sounds lovely-a real catch..those are hard to come by anymore..I say you've got yourself a lucky charms pot o' gold find on your hands.

LPMiller

I don't really see the big deal.

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look_ma

Update: Just had lunch with her again, walked her to her car gave her a hug, actualy she wanted another one and hinted she wanted a kiss. I passed it up, parking lot for first kiss is not very romantic IMO. Going to a movie this weekend hopefully, a chick flick too. We will see what happens.



I am actually with you, kinda. So you are saying if you were Christian in faith, that you wouldnt even consider a guy who was not Christian at all starting from the first date. This totally blows my mind. That leaves so many people out of the picture, some non beleivers can be better guys than beleivers.

caribiner23

I just thought of another angle on this: perhaps in her last relationship she was involved with someone who was deeply involved in his non-Christian religion and she found it difficult to deal with. That would be enough to ask the question upfront.

Aside from all that: best of luck in your new relationship! (And which "chick flick" will it be?)

look_ma

I think her last relationship went like a couple dates, just long enough for her to find out he was not Christian.

I was thinking on going to see Stage Beauty, it received a 65% on rottentomatoes.com, so I figure it cant be half bad. Also the theater I am taking her to is neat, no one under 18 is permitted, it is never really that crowed, usually no one sits next to you, and they have DF approved chairs (this means the armrest for the chairs comes up )

LPMiller

Actually no, I'm not saying that.

If someone who is christian wants to insure a future potential mate is of the same faith, that's just a good idea. I mean, I dunno many good relationships where the religons are wildly different or one doesn't have one while the other one does. So it's a fair question.

On the other hand, I'm a love conquers all type. I dunno that I ever cared about the other persons religion on the first date. But I don't see the big deal in that I wouldn't stress the question. The question is fairly irrelevent when you don't even know if you two can get along longer than a week. Go with the flow, if it works out great, if not, next. Putting too much thought into this one question is just a waste of energy.

InfiniteNothing

Dude, parking lot kiss is great. Left arm around her, flat supportive hand between shoulder blades, her leaning back on car, right hand on her side... mmmm

cheapie

absolutely my thoughts.

a young girl that is honest upfront, has a good relationship w/her parents, mature enough to know what she is looking for in a bf/mate.....rare

johnnymk

The Bible says that a believer should not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. At least she has the sense to learn this at an early age.

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Cantacuzene

So St. Augustine's mom shouldn't have married a pagan man? How much worse off would Christianity, and the world in general, be if she had followed the scripture in that case?