Houdini

So I'm doing my usual morning rounds, when I notice a few new (and scared looking faces) on my psych ward. I ask 3 ladies if everything is ok, and why they were there (nursing students/pt students, etc). They said they were nursing students and were fine. About a half-hour later, one of the techs (formerly called orderlies) asked me if I was married. I said no. So he said one of the nursing students wanted me and wanted him to give me her number. He said he'd rather stay out of it, but advised her to at least talk to me!

Well, about 45 min later, I'm walking, with my students, rounding up psychotic patients for an attempted group therapy session. This nursing student holds out a folded piece of paper, and says, "here, doctor." I said, "what...are we passing notes now or something?" "Absolutely." Hmmmmm.....

Paper had first name and phone number. Gotta give her credit for being so damn bold. I mean, it was flattering an all, but kinda foreward. I thought I'd wait a few days and then call. Maybe. Or just wait until this Friday and give her a note to play the game. Anyway, advice? Figured if I called, we could go out for drinks one night or something. Really not looking for anything right this minute, but...

Houdini <---too busy to date seriously

Apex

Make time. As important as a serious career is, life's too short to life in an unbalanced way.

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ray

Your life will suck like mine if you don't call her.

RoniMan

wow...words from the wise one...



just give her a call, you never know what could happen. maybe something serious, or maybe nothing, but you won't ever know if you don't call. and however busy you might be, there will always room for that special someone.

kimchicowboy

go get 'em cowboy!

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eSDee

Don't give her a note that's for sure. Give her a call, but wait 3 days atleast. Are you going to see her at work again? When you call her, feel it out a bit and if it feels right, ask her to meet you for coffee. I think that would be a better "first date" since you are in a medical setting. If it works out, then call her the next day and ask her for drinks. While having drinks tell her you are super busy at work so no time for a serious relationship, but you are looking for some booty once in a while. See if that works for her as well.

I know, I'm a hopeless romantic

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oblongmelon

What????? Don't ask her out! Don't you get that 99% of Nursing Students are all trying to score themselves a Doctor/husband/boytoy-especially if they are around the age of 19-24....TRust me, I KNOW-been there, done that...My Nursing Class had 51 students and at least 50 of them had a crush on one of the young doctors at one time or another(yep me too)...now mind you-we didn't think about all those student loans that would come into play in the hopefully soon to be "Mrs.Doctor" futures that we all had planned, but instead-big homes,loads of dough, trips to Europe, big diamonds, and big cars....you get my drift..
Anyway back to this girl....if she is so bold as to give her number to you in front of other students-then she must be a REAL FINE CATCH. (lol). Don't you believe in discretion..I mean seriously-I know we aren't talking marraige here, but don't let her note passing slide by as just a crush. She's got her sights set on the future, and with YOU in it-she's seeing green. Nothing against you because I'm sure you're a halfway decent guy(good looks, charming personality etc)...but face it-YOU'RE A DOCTOR. She's student. If you want to hook up with a nurse, find one in your area(not your same facility!) who has already finished school and is making her own living. Trust me-you won't feel like your such a cash cow or trophy date when it comes right down to it.
oh, and fyi-if you do decide to date her-and let's say you decide to get slightly more involved than you should-then decide to cool things off..YOU will be the scurge of the entire facility where you work. When you hear the whispers, and snide remarks and dirty looks from all the women in the building, (and especially those damn nursing students who will start vicious rumors about you for being such a jerk)..don't say I didn't warn you.

Emqtee

If you do ask her out my advice is to take it very slow. If she is working on the same floor as you right now there is potential for a very sticky situation if it doesn't work out. The good thing is though that she is a nursing student so you probably won't be working with her for an extended period of time.

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Jeffbx

Dating people you work with is a bad idea. Don't let your worlds collide!!

If you're really interested in her, at least wait until her rotation is over.

WhiskeyPapa

IMO, you at least owe her the courtesy of a cup of coffee or a lunch. I wouldn't pursue it any further than that. Oh yeah, don't call her, just talk to her the next time you work together.

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mcs328

hello Doctor Kovach!!! I'd call and meet for lunch. If she wants to get serious then cool her off and say your super busy but lunch dates are fine.

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oblongmelon

Why does he owe her a courtesy ANYTHING? He didn't ASK for her number. He didn't throw himself at her. He was working, and she zoomed in..HELLO? she's looking for a doctor boyfriend/hub to flaunt at her class reunions..IMHO he should blow her of and just tell her he doesn't date students...and the good Doctor should look for someone in his own social circles..(perhaps some of his co-worker doctors have sisters?? I know of many many physicians in my area who are related by marraige.).
I can see it now..Doctor Houdini asks out Nursing Student Sue..next thing..
NSS: "MOM GUESS WHAT! I'M DATING A DOCTOR!
mom: "ohhhh I'll have to tell grandma!"
NSS: "he's cute and he is in psychiatry"
mom: "there is always going to be crazy people....HE'LL BE RICH!"
NSS: "I know..can you see it now? I'll be Mrs. Houdini!
mom: "don't let this one get away..woohoo..good for you!"
NSS: "I have to go and call all my friends"
mom: "I'll alert the church ladies, the family and all your friends parents...see...my girl got herself a doctor~
NSS: "The wedding will be HUGE!"
mom: "I'll plan the menu...(sound of phone hanging up as visions of 400,000 dollar homes dance through their heads)

Yeh..i can see it now..TAKE HER TO LUNCH..hahahahah

gear02

Man, you have a very negative view of all of this.

But you know what? I think you're right.

WhiskeyPapa

Because he has to work with her. He can't treat her like she's just some anonymous woman from a bar. Even though she behaved in an uncourteous manner by using an intermediary and handing him an impersonal note, that does not mean he has the right to ignore her. It would be good manners for him to spend a half-hour with her and say he's flattered, but needs to focus on his career at this time. It would leave no hurt feelings, and their working relationship would remain good.

Completely ignoring her would no doubt cause more stress and conflict than simply having a cup of coffee.

ialsohaveadream

Obby makes good points. To counter potential gold-digging, I would make sure to tell her you have a massive, money-draining coke habit. Also, tell her you're very big in the local S&M scene.

That way, if she's after the money, she'll realize she's really gonna have to WORK for it.

welfareloser

hmm. i was going to say go ahead and call her, but obby is so painfully right... it's very likely that she sees you as an "it", not a "him." this just can't go anywhere good.

tell her you're gay.

then again, if she's hot, get laid and don't let her get any ideas about it being a permanent relationship.

EDIT: then again, look at it this way... realistically, you're going to meet your future wife where you work, simply because of the sheer amount of time you will spend there. would you rather marry another doc, so you can both work your butts off, put your kids in daycare, and fight about who does the laundry and cooking when you both get home tired, or would you rather marry someone with a disposable career who will stay home with the kids?

i guess go for it... with obby's caveat at the front of your mind. if she's just into your money, she's probably also none too bright, and you'll see it from a mile away... might as well ask her out for drinks in a few days and assess the situation and on the date, tell her about how your dream is to open up a clinic in an underserved area; that you'll only make about $25,000 a year, but the personal satisfaction will be worth it.

if she goes out on a second date after that, proceed as normal

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BrewMaster

well, given the advice around here, everyone is pulling for you to at least get laid.

have coffee or lunch and see if she is just into you because you are a Doc or if she is really a quality person that you can enjoy being with.

...and then try to get her in the sack if she's a looker.

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Booyamos

yeah i'd say at least go out on a date. You don't even have to date the girl you can just sleep with her! ha ha jk. Things are only as serious as you make them

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brainsmile

I highly advise AGAINST dating in the workplace. Also, it's highly possible Obby is right that they are looking for a doctor.

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look_ma

Yuh, I am with Emqtee on this one. I do my best not to date people I work with. We can have the same employer, as long as we do not intereact. I think datying people you work with falls under "you dont sh1t where you eat". If anyhting more happens, it is correct that all the students will be talking about it... "we went at it for 2 hours last night" or "after we were finished he just gives me the cold shoulder" ... "why did you give nurse 1 the cold shoulder last nigh dr. houdini?" etc

Obby is super right and has seen right through it, even if she isnt for the money... wait she is in it for the cash, nevermind.

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Cantacuzene

I'd call her. Gold digging only works if the guy neither knows nor cares. You both know to be aware and you care so it won't work. Since you dont have time to be serious, if she is just a gold digger she will eventually look for easier prey and move on, if not, have fun.

Hopper1

I agree with not dating co-workers. Especially since you will be technically an authority figure as a doctor and these are nursing students. Just doesn't seem like a good idea.

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Merlin

If you operate from the assumption that all women are gold diggers to begin with you'd have no problem

If you find her attractive then go for it. A great number of people in this day and age meet their spouse at work. It is simply a function of where you spend your time. Especially in time intensive fields (lawyers, investment bankers, etc.)

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Kim

Are you in a position of authority over her? I'd be wary of starting a relationship with her. It's too easy for a girl to get hurt feelings then cry sexual harrassment.

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welfareloser

afaik, doctors don't interact with nursing STUDENTS. not anywhere that i know of, anyway. they handle med students and nurses, but nursing students they rarely even cross paths with...

brainsmile

maybe he's not a doctor!

BrewMaster

maybe he just likes to "play doctor?!" in which case the nurse could add to the fun!

brainsmile

hmmm... this reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer and that short friend of his have to pretend to be sick for med students.

angl2b

I think it is a bad idea also to date anyone you work with....especially when one is a student that has her eyes on a Dr. - potential gold digger....
I think you should just let her know when she comes to you again that you are pretty busy and have a lot of things to do so you can't go to lunch with her/dinner/coffee.

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BrewMaster

that would kind of be a lie though i think. i mean, everyone's gotta eat lunch or dinner sometime. but i agree that dating at work can be a bad thing to do.