Have You ever Known Someone Who Is Dangerously Jealous?

johnnymk · 12-23-2004, 07:36 AM

I know this woman who I see at Karaoke events. She started going out about a year ago after being extremely lonely and depressed for years after a bad marriage.

Well, her attitude changed dramatically after meeting lots of people her age at these events. We even went together to a Karaoke place at Seaside Heights, NJ. in May.

She knows a man a bit older than her who used to live in her old neigborhood. He recently broke up with a woman who has severe mental problems. Her condition has been verified from other people I know.

This man started pursuing my friend about six months ago. However, she is not attracted to him. She actually feels extremely uncomfortable around him.

He will go to the Karaoke events where she is, sit at the table she is at and then make accusations that she is looking at this or that guy, and constantly belittling her.

He constantly leaves messages on her answering machine when she doesn't want to return his calls. He will call many times during the evening, even at the middle of night.

He buys her gifts which then makes her feel obligated. He has probably bought her $1000 worth of gifts in the past several months. He will leave them at her house when she's not there but when her son or daughter are there.

He bought tickets to a Barry Manilow concert. Well, she loves Barry Manilow and ended up going with him. She had asked me about whether she should go and I figured What the heck, just go.

He recently offered to help mover her son's things to his new apartment. Well, I think she shouldn't have accepted the offer, but she did.

Sunday night I was at a local tavern where they have an awesome sound system for Karaoke and where she usually shows up.

At around 8:00 she shows up and he is right behind her. She sits at the crowded table where I am and starts crying and says he beat her up, but in a whispering tone. The music is very loud there so I had a hard time hearing her. She told me that he stopped at her house after she told him over the phone that she was fed up with him and to stop bothering her.

She was outside when he got at her house. He told her that he was always going to be in her life. He then pulled on her arm yanked her by her hair and tried to kiss her, Well, he injured her arm prettyy bad.

He then forced her in his car and said that they were going to this tavern where she showed up. This was the part of her story which I initially had a hard time believing.

After she told me the story, we waited while he went to the bar and we both scrambled out the door. I took her to the hospital where she found that her left arm was pulled, some kind of strain I believe. Her hand was starting to swell up. A social worker heard her story that nigt and said that there were about five things he could be charged with.

Yesterday, the guy was questioned and he failed all of the lie detector tests concerning that night while she passed hers. There are four counts which he has been charged with. He is not allowed to call her or approach her in public or he will immediately be arrested.

The thing that puzzles me is: If he is mentally and physically abusive to her, why does he even want to see her?

welfareloser · 12-23-2004, 08:23 AM

well... sounds like my ex husband. if you want to understand the unfortunately not-so-rare mindset that leads to that behavior, there are some excellent, readable books on the subject.

in my mind, it's just a matter of needing to be in control. my ex didn't want to look at me or touch me the entire time i was pregnant. he was more physically affectionate with the dog. i couldn't get him to look me in the eye or have a simple conversation. but, at 5 months along, we met a friend of a friend who was delighted with the pregnancy... wanted to rub my belly and tell me what a cute pregnant woman i was and what a good mommy i'd be. it was, of course, completely non-romantic interest, as the conversation was peppered with how he couldn't wait to knock up his future wife. but my ex hated him, yelled at me for talking to him, etc. it's just a matter of feeling not in control in one situation, and fixing it by exercising, simple, brutal control in another.

so, to answer your question... he wants to see her to make sure she's not having fun without him.

verve247 · 12-23-2004, 10:16 PM

Wow, he already drove one woman nuts and is now working on another. I don't understand how a person like that thinks.

oblongmelon · 12-24-2004, 05:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnnymk

I know this woman who I see at Karaoke events. She started going out about a year ago after being extremely lonely and depressed for years after a bad marriage.

Well, her attitude changed dramatically after meeting lots of people her age at these events. We even went together to a Karaoke place at Seaside Heights, NJ. in May.

She knows a man a bit older than her who used to live in her old neigborhood. He recently broke up with a woman who has severe mental problems. Her condition has been verified from other people I know.

This man started pursuing my friend about six months ago. However, she is not attracted to him. She actually feels extremely uncomfortable around him.

He will go to the Karaoke events where she is, sit at the table she is at and then make accusations that she is looking at this or that guy, and constantly belittling her.

He constantly leaves messages on her answering machine when she doesn't want to return his calls. He will call many times during the evening, even at the middle of night.

He buys her gifts which then makes her feel obligated. He has probably bought her $1000 worth of gifts in the past several months. He will leave them at her house when she's not there but when her son or daughter are there.

He bought tickets to a Barry Manilow concert. Well, she loves Barry Manilow and ended up going with him. She had asked me about whether she should go and I figured What the heck, just go.

He recently offered to help mover her son's things to his new apartment. Well, I think she shouldn't have accepted the offer, but she did.

Sunday night I was at a local tavern where they have an awesome sound system for Karaoke and where she usually shows up.

At around 8:00 she shows up and he is right behind her. She sits at the crowded table where I am and starts crying and says he beat her up, but in a whispering tone. The music is very loud there so I had a hard time hearing her. She told me that he stopped at her house after she told him over the phone that she was fed up with him and to stop bothering her.

She was outside when he got at her house. He told her that he was always going to be in her life. He then pulled on her arm yanked her by her hair and tried to kiss her, Well, he injured her arm prettyy bad.

He then forced her in his car and said that they were going to this tavern where she showed up. This was the part of her story which I initially had a hard time believing.

After she told me the story, we waited while he went to the bar and we both scrambled out the door. I took her to the hospital where she found that her left arm was pulled, some kind of strain I believe. Her hand was starting to swell up. A social worker heard her story that nigt and said that there were about five things he could be charged with.

Yesterday, the guy was questioned and he failed all of the lie detector tests concerning that night while she passed hers. There are four counts which he has been charged with. He is not allowed to call her or approach her in public or he will immediately be arrested.

The thing that puzzles me is: If he is mentally and physically abusive to her, why does he even want to see her?

Power Trip. She's a fool for accepting any gifts to begin with. You don't invite the Grim reaper into your home if he comes knocking with a smile on his face..plain and simple. If you're her friend why didn't you tell the guy to back off for her?
MOral of the story...Karaoke bars are Evilllllllllllllllllll~
Buon Natale!

johnnymk · 12-24-2004, 07:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oblongmelon

Power Trip. She's a fool for accepting any gifts to begin with. You don't invite the Grim reaper into your home if he comes knocking with a smile on his face..plain and simple. If you're her friend why didn't you tell the guy to back off for her?
MOral of the story...Karaoke bars are Evilllllllllllllllllll~
Buon Natale!

He doesn't listen..Period. Nothing sinks into his head. Besides, I am beginning to think he's a bigger wacko than I originally thought.

Maybe the restraining order and the charges will calm him down.

I didn't know your last name was Natale. I knew a Natale in high school.

And I heard he was the first guy in the country to start Karaoke.

nickel · 12-24-2004, 09:23 AM

i haven't known someone personally who has been dangerously jealous, but i have heard of it. OJ Simpson comes to mind.

Kevster · 12-26-2004, 02:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nickel

i haven't known someone personally who has been dangerously jealous, but i have heard of it. OJ Simpson comes to mind.

That's exactly who I was thinking of when I was reading your first post. If there isn't a restraining order already on him, I think it should be petitioned asap.

oblongmelon · 12-27-2004, 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnnymk

I didn't know your last name was Natale. I knew a Natale in high school.

And I heard he was the first guy in the country to start Karaoke.

Whatchoo talkin bout willis? There is no karaoke in my bloodline. If there was we'd only be singing about An Evening in Roma. or Amore. hmmmph.

Hypnotist · 12-28-2004, 11:13 PM

Been there... Done that!
Little sister of my fraternity... I dated her for years. Spoiled brat... baby of the family. Also, totally insecure... though there was no outwardly obvious reason for her to be that way. She was absolutely gorgeous (Miss Texas Pageant), very bright, but could turn on a dime emotionally. Later in the relationship, if she even thought that I was attentive to another girl, not only did she become furious, she could become violent. My brother finally had her thrown in jail one night when she came over to our place and broke down a door trying to get at me. Yeah... those were some fun times. Wish they were STILL breakin' down doors to get at me.

revil · 12-29-2004, 02:45 AM

i've never been dangerously jealous. i'm a very loving person. i still try to love twee despite the restraining order, mace, and stun gun she recently aquired.

Hypnotist · 12-30-2004, 03:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by revil

i've never been dangerously jealous. i'm a very loving person. i still try to love twee despite the restraining order, mace, and stun gun she recently aquired.

That's funny...

12-23-2004, 07:36 AM	#1
johnnymk Chief of Naval Operations Join Date: May 2000 Location: LEVITTOWN< PA> USA Posts: 13,621	Have You ever Known Someone Who Is Dangerously Jealous? I know this woman who I see at Karaoke events. She started going out about a year ago after being extremely lonely and depressed for years after a bad marriage. Well, her attitude changed dramatically after meeting lots of people her age at these events. We even went together to a Karaoke place at Seaside Heights, NJ. in May. She knows a man a bit older than her who used to live in her old neigborhood. He recently broke up with a woman who has severe mental problems. Her condition has been verified from other people I know. This man started pursuing my friend about six months ago. However, she is not attracted to him. She actually feels extremely uncomfortable around him. He will go to the Karaoke events where she is, sit at the table she is at and then make accusations that she is looking at this or that guy, and constantly belittling her. He constantly leaves messages on her answering machine when she doesn't want to return his calls. He will call many times during the evening, even at the middle of night. He buys her gifts which then makes her feel obligated. He has probably bought her $1000 worth of gifts in the past several months. He will leave them at her house when she's not there but when her son or daughter are there. He bought tickets to a Barry Manilow concert. Well, she loves Barry Manilow and ended up going with him. She had asked me about whether she should go and I figured What the heck, just go. He recently offered to help mover her son's things to his new apartment. Well, I think she shouldn't have accepted the offer, but she did. Sunday night I was at a local tavern where they have an awesome sound system for Karaoke and where she usually shows up. At around 8:00 she shows up and he is right behind her. She sits at the crowded table where I am and starts crying and says he beat her up, but in a whispering tone. The music is very loud there so I had a hard time hearing her. She told me that he stopped at her house after she told him over the phone that she was fed up with him and to stop bothering her. She was outside when he got at her house. He told her that he was always going to be in her life. He then pulled on her arm yanked her by her hair and tried to kiss her, Well, he injured her arm prettyy bad. He then forced her in his car and said that they were going to this tavern where she showed up. This was the part of her story which I initially had a hard time believing. After she told me the story, we waited while he went to the bar and we both scrambled out the door. I took her to the hospital where she found that her left arm was pulled, some kind of strain I believe. Her hand was starting to swell up. A social worker heard her story that nigt and said that there were about five things he could be charged with. Yesterday, the guy was questioned and he failed all of the lie detector tests concerning that night while she passed hers. There are four counts which he has been charged with. He is not allowed to call her or approach her in public or he will immediately be arrested. The thing that puzzles me is: If he is mentally and physically abusive to her, why does he even want to see her? __________________ “Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.” (Winston Churchill)

12-23-2004, 08:23 AM	#2
welfareloser Grand Moff Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: jabba's palace. (yes, i do... and no, you can't.) Posts: 9,718	well... sounds like my ex husband. if you want to understand the unfortunately not-so-rare mindset that leads to that behavior, there are some excellent, readable books on the subject. in my mind, it's just a matter of needing to be in control. my ex didn't want to look at me or touch me the entire time i was pregnant. he was more physically affectionate with the dog. i couldn't get him to look me in the eye or have a simple conversation. but, at 5 months along, we met a friend of a friend who was delighted with the pregnancy... wanted to rub my belly and tell me what a cute pregnant woman i was and what a good mommy i'd be. it was, of course, completely non-romantic interest, as the conversation was peppered with how he couldn't wait to knock up his future wife. but my ex hated him, yelled at me for talking to him, etc. it's just a matter of feeling not in control in one situation, and fixing it by exercising, simple, brutal control in another. so, to answer your question... he wants to see her to make sure she's not having fun without him. __________________ Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life. ~ Leo Buscaglia http://www.welfareloser.com http://gotapexblogs.net/users/welfareloser/

12-23-2004, 10:16 PM	#3
verve247 Commander Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: San Francisco Posts: 1,486	Wow, he already drove one woman nuts and is now working on another. I don't understand how a person like that thinks. __________________ Vegetarian - Old indian word meaning poor hunter.

12-24-2004, 09:23 AM	#6
nickel Vice Chairwoman, Joint Chieftess of Staff Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Jeterville, NYY Posts: 17,786	i haven't known someone personally who has been dangerously jealous, but i have heard of it. OJ Simpson comes to mind. __________________ click me

12-28-2004, 11:13 PM	#9
Hypnotist Lieutenant Commander Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: At this very moment... Uppermost in Your MIND Posts: 862	Been there... Done that! Little sister of my fraternity... I dated her for years. Spoiled brat... baby of the family. Also, totally insecure... though there was no outwardly obvious reason for her to be that way. She was absolutely gorgeous (Miss Texas Pageant), very bright, but could turn on a dime emotionally. Later in the relationship, if she even thought that I was attentive to another girl, not only did she become furious, she could become violent. My brother finally had her thrown in jail one night when she came over to our place and broke down a door trying to get at me. Yeah... those were some fun times. Wish they were STILL breakin' down doors to get at me. __________________ I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him. Galileo Galilei

12-29-2004, 02:45 AM	#10
revil shibuya girl Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Oregon Posts: 6,851	i've never been dangerously jealous. i'm a very loving person. i still try to love twee despite the restraining order, mace, and stun gun she recently aquired.

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