if someone you have only met on the internet tells you that they...

nickel · 01-06-2005, 09:32 AM

love you. how much credibility do you put into that? you have never met this person face to face. you have seen pictures, seen them on their webcam, and talked to them on the phone.

then they break out the L-bomb. personally, i don't think it is possible to "love" someone over the internet.

dsuds · 01-06-2005, 09:52 AM

Nickel, I told you not to repeat that here, what would nija think?

Seriously, I think you can find out a lot about a person via internet, but enough to "break out the L-bomb".... NO. Face-to-face is the only way to get to truly know someone.

revil · 01-06-2005, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nickel

personally, i don't think it is possible to "love" someone over the internet.

Twee tries all the time with me.

tupacboy · 01-06-2005, 09:56 AM

maybe... they love your font...

nickel · 01-06-2005, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tupacboy

maybe... they love your font...

and your back

gear02 · 01-06-2005, 10:33 AM

I say that to Apex all the time...especially when he posts pictures of his home theater and his hands

Merlin · 01-06-2005, 10:34 AM

No, you need to spend time with them to know that.

whitak24 · 01-06-2005, 10:53 AM

eh, depends on the person's definition of the word love. i think it's entirely possible to be in "love" with someone you've never met. now if you tried to convert that "love" into a RL relationship, would that relationship be successful? probably not. but that doesn't mean the "love" wasn't real.

OC · 01-06-2005, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gear02

...and his hands

Maarchk · 01-06-2005, 11:27 AM

How long have you been talking with this person? A person told me they loved me but that was like 2 years of talking like 3-4 times a week for like almost an hour...

nickel · 01-06-2005, 11:29 AM

about the same time frame.

SecretIkon · 01-06-2005, 11:58 AM

I don't think you can love a person over the internet if you havn't seen them. you might love their personality they have on the internet but not their personality in person. I just think your personality on the internet is really different from the one when you are in person. Basically two different identifies.

ialsohaveadream · 01-06-2005, 12:14 PM

There's a world of difference between talking online and spending time together in person. I'm gonna go with a big NO on this one. It's easy to love the way someone types to you, because you can't see their annoying or weird personal habits, and how you interact in the day-to-day mundane grind.

I would never trust a woman saying she loved me until she'd seen how I am in the mornings if I don't get a bowl of cereal within 10 minutes.

Kevster · 01-06-2005, 12:40 PM

To lay down the L-bomb, without ever meeting the other in person, would kind of concern me. Like others have said already, they only know what you let them see on a discrete level - not what you're like 24/7, or even for an extended amount of time on a date. Hell - they haven't even seen you in 3-dimensions!

dsuds · 01-06-2005, 01:27 PM

Seeing Nickel in three dimensions isn't the problem, cuz she's a babe. Unless the pics she's posted are fakes.

The webcam contact would be about as close as you can get without actually being there, but I still don't think it would compare to real life. If you've talked to this person for a long time, and there's a connection there, maybe it's time for a face-to-face. Otherwise, brush this one "L-bomb" off, and let it be. If he continues to push, then it's bye-bye time for that internet stalker.

DaFunkyUnit · 01-06-2005, 01:52 PM

... and i want you to shooooooooooooww me....

welfareloser · 01-06-2005, 03:52 PM

ehhh... i'm not going to piss on someone else's perception of love, regardless of the fact that i suspect i probably couldn't love someone i knew only over the internet.

if it was some story about a civil war soldier who got letters from a woman he had never met, and those letters were all that kept him going, and he told her he loved her and would marry her the day he got home, we'd all be reaching for our tissue boxes instead o pissing on it

just a different way of looking at it. anyway. i have no judgement in the matter. i can't say how it is or is not possible for someone else to love.

that said... if someone said it to you over the internet, change your email addy and buy a gun, cuz he's probly a fruitcake

and here's another way of looking at it: so they would know each other better if they were in the same room, and THEN they might know what they're talking about, right?

well... people fall in love precisely because they don't know each other that well. how many times have you fallen in love with someone, gotten to know them better, and then run screaming?

love is squishy and silly and unreliable and fickle and nonsensical and illogical. applying all this reasonable "really getting to knwo someone consists of a, b, and c" stuff has no meaning.

Memo · 01-06-2005, 04:45 PM

Eh, I think it's possible to love what you know about them. But truthfully, you can't get the full idea of a person online. Your brain fills in the gaps and sometimes, incorrectly.

Jenny · 01-06-2005, 06:04 PM

8 1/2 years of marriage later and I would have to disagree with all you nay-sayers...

Altho we hadn't seen each other when we said it. We had talked on the phone and computer for hours, probably hundreds of them, before we said it. Even more before we met face to face. It's amazing how much you can learn about each other and your compatibility in that time.

molecularfire · 01-06-2005, 06:19 PM

Sure, in so much as a person can love another person (I'm not completely sold that love really exists to begin with). Also, I wouldn't always trust people when they tell you they love you anyways, even in real life. Girls sometimes use love to control a guy, guys sometimes use love to get a girl nekkid. The use of the word isn't necessarily diagnostic of the feeling or even the delusion of the feeling of the emotion. Also, that person loves you over a web cam which doesn't mean that they are going to love you in real life. It's not a bad sign by any means but it doesn't mean that they are going to love you in real life. That is a separate hurdle.

ialsohaveadream · 01-06-2005, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenny

Altho we hadn't seen each other when we said it. We had talked on the phone and computer for hours, probably hundreds of them, before we said it. Even more before we met face to face. It's amazing how much you can learn about each other and your compatibility in that time.

I'm going to disagree with you, because sometimes even arranged marraiges end up being loving, happy marraiges. There's an element of luck in making any relationship work.

You may have felt like you loved him, but was it not possible that you could have met him and realized he'd been lying to you all along, that he was married with 3 kids, etc? (Not that such things couldn't happen in real life dating, but...)

welfareloser · 01-06-2005, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ialsohaveadream

You may have felt like you loved him, but was it not possible that you could have met him and realized he'd been lying to you all along, that he was married with 3 kids, etc? (Not that such things couldn't happen in real life dating, but...)

even if that was the case, until she found out the truth, she loved him, simple as that.

i love jenny's how-we-met story... *sigh* so sweet. so much better than mine, wherein an 8-year-old girl taunted a 9-year-old boy until he politely effed off for 10 years...

ialsohaveadream · 01-06-2005, 07:01 PM

I like mine better, wherein I steal her away from an ass of a boyfriend, date her and fall madly in love, breakup when we both move away for internships, steal her away from another boyfriend when I get back, then end up engaged.

(Let's just ignore what happened after that.

)

Maarchk · 01-06-2005, 07:38 PM

I think maybe, the reason a lot of people say no, is do to the fact that most of them and we all probably do it to some degree, is add a dimension or hide a dimentia about ourselves to the outside world. I know that sometimes i am more playful online cause its safe and fun. But sometimes i just want to talk to people and i am very much my real self, and when i say i feel sorry for them or i wish i could help, i really would if i was in person. its not just something i say cause i know i will never get called on it. With the girl i reffered too, we were completely honest with eachother the whole way through and when we met up to hang out, it was just like being online, but we could actually see the smile and hear the laughter. It was pretty wonderful. And then i jacked it up. But thats another thread.

Memo · 01-06-2005, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ialsohaveadream

I like mine better, wherein I steal her away from an ass of a boyfriend, date her and fall madly in love, breakup when we both move away for internships, steal her away from another boyfriend when I get back, then end up engaged.

(Let's just ignore what happened after that.

)

You *******, I loved that girl!

ialsohaveadream · 01-06-2005, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Memo

You *******, I loved that girl!

Well, you shouldn't have been such an emotionally abusive dick, then.

Jenny · 01-06-2005, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ialsohaveadream

I'm going to disagree with you, because sometimes even arranged marraiges end up being loving, happy marraiges. There's an element of luck in making any relationship work.

Of course they can. And yes, there is an element of luck in making any relationship work. But what does that have to do with disagreeing with me? lol I'm just saying it depends on each person. No, not everyone can fall in love online. Me, I did. Scott did as well. Saying that about even some arranged marriages end up being loving, happy marriages has nothing to do with this discussion except what you said below... (in my opinion, of course.

)

Quote:

Originally Posted by ialsohaveadream

You may have felt like you loved him, but was it not possible that you could have met him and realized he'd been lying to you all along, that he was married with 3 kids, etc? (Not that such things couldn't happen in real life dating, but...)

Of course I could have met him and realized he had been lying. But you pointed out, that can happen (& does happen unfortunately too often) in real life as well. Even after saying you loved the person. So to me, that argument is null & void. It doesn't affect whether or not you can fall in love online.

ialsohaveadream · 01-06-2005, 08:56 PM

Re-reading that, I realize my argument didn't come out as clearly as it sounded in my head. Anyway, I'm very happy everything worked out for you. I still dont' believe you fall in love with someone from talking to them online.

brainsmile · 01-06-2005, 09:37 PM

in that case I love you all

Jenny · 01-06-2005, 09:37 PM

hehe Believe what you will.

It is entirely possible. We are living proof.

01-06-2005, 09:32 AM	#1
nickel Vice Chairwoman, Joint Chieftess of Staff Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Jeterville, NYY Posts: 17,786	if someone you have only met on the internet tells you that they... love you. how much credibility do you put into that? you have never met this person face to face. you have seen pictures, seen them on their webcam, and talked to them on the phone. then they break out the L-bomb. personally, i don't think it is possible to "love" someone over the internet. __________________ click me

01-06-2005, 10:34 AM	#7
Merlin Admiral Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Square On My Arse Posts: 7,410	No, you need to spend time with them to know that. __________________

01-06-2005, 11:27 AM	#10
Maarchk Rear Admiral Upper Half Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Where the east meets the west. Posts: 3,066	How long have you been talking with this person? A person told me they loved me but that was like 2 years of talking like 3-4 times a week for like almost an hour... __________________ "The girl is crafty like ice is cold." "I left my heart in san francisco... And my liver at Moe's Tavern." A real friend is one who listens to you as much as they talk to you.

01-06-2005, 11:58 AM	#12
SecretIkon Lieutenant Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 364	I don't think you can love a person over the internet if you havn't seen them. you might love their personality they have on the internet but not their personality in person. I just think your personality on the internet is really different from the one when you are in person. Basically two different identifies. __________________ "Life is like a race. You are running so quickly that you don’t seem to enjoy or pay attention to the people or objects around you."

01-06-2005, 12:40 PM	#14
Kevster Admiral Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: NorCal Posts: 6,124	To lay down the L-bomb, without ever meeting the other in person, would kind of concern me. Like others have said already, they only know what you let them see on a discrete level - not what you're like 24/7, or even for an extended amount of time on a date. Hell - they haven't even seen you in 3-dimensions! __________________ I think over again My small adventures, my fears. The small ones that seemed so big, For all the vital things I had to get and to reach. And yet there is only one great thing, the only thing: To live to see the great day that dawns, And the light that fills the world. -old Inuit song

01-06-2005, 09:52 AM	#2
dsuds Lieutenant Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: wherever you go, there you are Posts: 388	Nickel, I told you not to repeat that here, what would nija think? Seriously, I think you can find out a lot about a person via internet, but enough to "break out the L-bomb".... NO. Face-to-face is the only way to get to truly know someone.

01-06-2005, 09:56 AM	#4
tupacboy Rear Admiral Lower Half Join Date: May 2000 Location: border of oc and la Posts: 2,382	maybe... they love your font...

01-06-2005, 10:33 AM	#6
gear02 Admiral Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 7,223	I say that to Apex all the time...especially when he posts pictures of his home theater and his hands

01-06-2005, 10:53 AM	#8
whitak24 easily amused Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: my office Posts: 9,781	eh, depends on the person's definition of the word love. i think it's entirely possible to be in "love" with someone you've never met. now if you tried to convert that "love" into a RL relationship, would that relationship be successful? probably not. but that doesn't mean the "love" wasn't real.

01-06-2005, 11:29 AM	#11
nickel Vice Chairwoman, Joint Chieftess of Staff Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Jeterville, NYY Posts: 17,786	about the same time frame.

01-06-2005, 12:14 PM	#13
ialsohaveadream Fleet Admiral Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: FL Posts: 8,077	There's a world of difference between talking online and spending time together in person. I'm gonna go with a big NO on this one. It's easy to love the way someone types to you, because you can't see their annoying or weird personal habits, and how you interact in the day-to-day mundane grind. I would never trust a woman saying she loved me until she'd seen how I am in the mornings if I don't get a bowl of cereal within 10 minutes.

01-06-2005, 01:27 PM	#15
dsuds Lieutenant Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: wherever you go, there you are Posts: 388	Seeing Nickel in three dimensions isn't the problem, cuz she's a babe. Unless the pics she's posted are fakes. The webcam contact would be about as close as you can get without actually being there, but I still don't think it would compare to real life. If you've talked to this person for a long time, and there's a connection there, maybe it's time for a face-to-face. Otherwise, brush this one "L-bomb" off, and let it be. If he continues to push, then it's bye-bye time for that internet stalker.

01-06-2005, 01:52 PM	#16
DaFunkyUnit Rear Admiral Upper Half Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: the peanut gallery Posts: 3,909	i want to know what love is.... ... and i want you to shooooooooooooww me.... __________________

01-06-2005, 03:52 PM	#17
welfareloser Grand Moff Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: jabba's palace. (yes, i do... and no, you can't.) Posts: 9,718	ehhh... i'm not going to piss on someone else's perception of love, regardless of the fact that i suspect i probably couldn't love someone i knew only over the internet. if it was some story about a civil war soldier who got letters from a woman he had never met, and those letters were all that kept him going, and he told her he loved her and would marry her the day he got home, we'd all be reaching for our tissue boxes instead o pissing on it just a different way of looking at it. anyway. i have no judgement in the matter. i can't say how it is or is not possible for someone else to love. that said... if someone said it to you over the internet, change your email addy and buy a gun, cuz he's probly a fruitcake and here's another way of looking at it: so they would know each other better if they were in the same room, and THEN they might know what they're talking about, right? well... people fall in love precisely because they don't know each other that well. how many times have you fallen in love with someone, gotten to know them better, and then run screaming? love is squishy and silly and unreliable and fickle and nonsensical and illogical. applying all this reasonable "really getting to knwo someone consists of a, b, and c" stuff has no meaning. __________________ Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life. ~ Leo Buscaglia http://www.welfareloser.com http://gotapexblogs.net/users/welfareloser/

01-06-2005, 04:45 PM	#18
Memo Admiral Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: East Village Posts: 5,659	Eh, I think it's possible to love what you know about them. But truthfully, you can't get the full idea of a person online. Your brain fills in the gaps and sometimes, incorrectly.

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01-06-2005, 06:04 PM	#19
Jenny Chief of Naval Operations Join Date: Mar 2000 Location: Kansas City area Posts: 10,947	8 1/2 years of marriage later and I would have to disagree with all you nay-sayers... Altho we hadn't seen each other when we said it. We had talked on the phone and computer for hours, probably hundreds of them, before we said it. Even more before we met face to face. It's amazing how much you can learn about each other and your compatibility in that time. __________________ Check out my spoilers for over 20 shows @ SpoilerFix.com Check out my TV blog, where I post weekly & daily TV schedules, TV news, interviews with TV stars & more! All new TV forums as well @ TV Is My Pacifier

01-06-2005, 06:19 PM	#20
molecularfire Admiral Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Walking through a lemon grove looking for one good orange Posts: 6,134	Sure, in so much as a person can love another person (I'm not completely sold that love really exists to begin with). Also, I wouldn't always trust people when they tell you they love you anyways, even in real life. Girls sometimes use love to control a guy, guys sometimes use love to get a girl nekkid. The use of the word isn't necessarily diagnostic of the feeling or even the delusion of the feeling of the emotion. Also, that person loves you over a web cam which doesn't mean that they are going to love you in real life. It's not a bad sign by any means but it doesn't mean that they are going to love you in real life. That is a separate hurdle. __________________ Disclaimer - The above opinion should not be taken as medical advise. My only advise is to talk to your doctor. If you are stupid enough to take anything I say seriously, you have nobody to blame for your cranio-anal inversion but your stupid self. I may not be smart enough to do everything but I am dumb enough to try anything. - Beastboy.

01-06-2005, 07:01 PM	#23
ialsohaveadream Fleet Admiral Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: FL Posts: 8,077	I like mine better, wherein I steal her away from an ass of a boyfriend, date her and fall madly in love, breakup when we both move away for internships, steal her away from another boyfriend when I get back, then end up engaged. (Let's just ignore what happened after that. )

01-06-2005, 07:38 PM	#24
Maarchk Rear Admiral Upper Half Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Where the east meets the west. Posts: 3,066	I think maybe, the reason a lot of people say no, is do to the fact that most of them and we all probably do it to some degree, is add a dimension or hide a dimentia about ourselves to the outside world. I know that sometimes i am more playful online cause its safe and fun. But sometimes i just want to talk to people and i am very much my real self, and when i say i feel sorry for them or i wish i could help, i really would if i was in person. its not just something i say cause i know i will never get called on it. With the girl i reffered too, we were completely honest with eachother the whole way through and when we met up to hang out, it was just like being online, but we could actually see the smile and hear the laughter. It was pretty wonderful. And then i jacked it up. But thats another thread.

01-06-2005, 08:56 PM	#28
ialsohaveadream Fleet Admiral Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: FL Posts: 8,077	Re-reading that, I realize my argument didn't come out as clearly as it sounded in my head. Anyway, I'm very happy everything worked out for you. I still dont' believe you fall in love with someone from talking to them online.

01-06-2005, 09:37 PM	#29
brainsmile Chief of Naval Operations Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: woah... why is welfareloser here with me so early in the morning and more importantly why am I wearing her clothes?!? Posts: 13,754	in that case I love you all

01-06-2005, 09:37 PM	#30
Jenny Chief of Naval Operations Join Date: Mar 2000 Location: Kansas City area Posts: 10,947	hehe Believe what you will. It is entirely possible. We are living proof.

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