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Old 01-29-2005, 11:49 AM   #1
johnnymk
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Guys: Could you Get Serious with Someone You Find Physically Unattractive?

and yet has a great personality...

I could be friends but could never get serious. Maybe I'm shallow, but I can't get past the outer appearance. However, what I find attractive could be totally different than what others think is attractive.
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Old 01-29-2005, 12:24 PM   #2
nate el bueno
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hideously ugly i dont know, but with a sweet inner personalitly maybe
im only 16 though, so i dont have much in this department
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Old 01-29-2005, 01:50 PM   #3
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well attractiveness is all opion. so you just have to find someone who is attrative to you, personality and physically.
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Old 01-29-2005, 02:09 PM   #4
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I could be in a relationship with someone I felt neutral towards.

But if I honestly felt that the person is unattractive, I would feel too guilty to be in a relationship with that person.
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Old 01-29-2005, 02:21 PM   #5
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Get serious meaning have a relationship with or get serious meaning get physically serious with?
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Old 01-29-2005, 02:32 PM   #6
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i've mentioned it before, i couldn't. First because well, why would you want to be with someone your not attracted to? Second you also end up with a lot of passive pressure from people around you.
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Old 01-29-2005, 02:33 PM   #7
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Sure, its shallow, but whats the first thing people see when they meet someone new? It's the physical appearance. I believe it's the first thing people are attracted to. Everything else comes after that. I'm not going to approach somebody I dont even find physically attractive.

With that being said, physical appearance isn't everything... I would never be with somebody that was only physically attractive. If I couldn't find other things to be interested in... whats the point?
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Old 01-29-2005, 03:27 PM   #8
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I think its hard to be really close with someone you can't enjoy being physical or physically close to. I usually like someone with a great smile and so if their teeth were all messed up, it would be hard for me to want to be in a relationship with them. I think though that love can change your view of others. I think the more i talk to someone and get to like them, the less important their outward appearance is, or the more i begin to see it as pretty even if i was not so inclined to at the beginning.
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Old 01-29-2005, 03:30 PM   #9
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I jsut want someone who is healthy. Works out, runs, eats right. From there usually they are in the 5+ range. I am healthy fit etc etc I want the same. I also have a rule that if you are not better looking than who you want you cannot be picky.
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Old 01-29-2005, 04:09 PM   #10
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I believe that if it is true love...outward appearance will make no difference.
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Old 01-29-2005, 04:29 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johnnymk
I could be friends but could never get serious. Maybe I'm shallow, but I can't get past the outer appearance.

This and your ****ty attitude about women... I am seriously not wondering anymore why no one has snatched you up!
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Old 01-29-2005, 04:50 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenny
This and your ****ty attitude about women... I am seriously not wondering anymore why no one has snatched you up!


LOL

edit: I am sorry, but I was wondering when a female was going to say something like that. I wiill be the first to admit that I am not marriage material, but I do have quite a few female friends. But I still think you're cool and a sweety, too. and you have a lucky husband.

Last edited by johnnymk : 01-29-2005 at 05:23 PM.
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Old 01-29-2005, 06:38 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IrishSS
Sure, its shallow, but whats the first thing people see when they meet someone new? It's the physical appearance. I believe it's the first thing people are attracted to. Everything else comes after that. I'm not going to approach somebody I dont even find physically attractive.

With that being said, physical appearance isn't everything... I would never be with somebody that was only physically attractive. If I couldn't find other things to be interested in... whats the point?



as long as they're not repulsive...i'd be willing to get to know them better.
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Old 01-30-2005, 02:31 AM   #14
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i have a thing for dorky looking guys.
hahaha
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Old 01-30-2005, 05:36 AM   #15
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What got me thinking about this was a little incident which happened to a woman friend of mine whom I have known for almost a year.

This 52 year old woman was at a local reataurant where they have Karaoke She said that there was a very nice guy she had been talking to for several weeks. Somehow, the topic of a date was brought up. He made a comment that he won't date heavy women. As she left the table where they were sitting, she said; "You know, I could lose weight and attract a lot of guys, but you'll ALWAYS be ugly"

So while she tells me this story, she comments why people can be so shallow and not see into the inner beauty that a person has. BTW, this woman in no way will turn heads even if she lost weight. But she is fun to be around.

I wanted to tell her I also have what she calls a problem with this. But it would probably jeopardize my friendship with her, because she likes me and wishes it were more. She is fun to be around, but I am not the least bit attracted to her. It's a shame, but you can't force yourself to be attracted to someone, IMO.
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Old 01-30-2005, 06:56 AM   #16
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hey johnnymk, ever saw the movie Shallow Hal?
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Old 01-30-2005, 07:55 AM   #17
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Nope. Ugly girls get filed into the "platonic friends" abyss, because if girls can do it to guys, we should be able to do it right back.
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Old 01-30-2005, 08:25 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantacuzene
Nope. Ugly girls get filed into the "platonic friends" abyss, because if girls can do it to guys, we should be able to do it right back.

I don't think that works in EVERY situation...

Most "physically unattractive" girls aren't picky about guys' appearance, or attitude. That's why most "physically unattractive" girls end up with *******s who treat them like ****....
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Old 01-30-2005, 08:26 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jane83
i have a thing for dorky looking guys.
hahaha

let me introduce you to Johnnymk.

Quote:
Originally Posted by johnnymk
What got me thinking about this was a little incident which happened to a woman friend of mine whom I have known for almost a year.


So while she tells me this story, she comments why people can be so shallow and not see into the inner beauty that a person has. BTW, this woman in no way will turn heads even if she lost weight. But she is fun to be around.

I wanted to tell her I also have what she calls a problem with this. But it would probably jeopardize my friendship with her, because she likes me and wishes it were more. She is fun to be around, but I am not the least bit attracted to her. It's a shame, but you can't force yourself to be attracted to someone, IMO.

Perhaps she doesn't really "like" you but just keeps you hanging around to keep the cool guys from beating down her door..you know there is only so many men that women can handle at once. Sheesh...but on a serious note, what if she came up to you and said..Johnny, you're just too damn homely for me to ever date..sorry..what a kick in the pants that would be-no?
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Old 01-30-2005, 09:36 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oblongmelon
let me introduce you to Johnnymk.



Perhaps she doesn't really "like" you but just keeps you hanging around to keep the cool guys from beating down her door..you know there is only so many men that women can handle at once. Sheesh...but on a serious note, what if she came up to you and said..Johnny, you're just too damn homely for me to ever date..sorry..what a kick in the pants that would be-no?


Sorry, but she thinks I'm the cat's Meow

Funny how most guys agree with me, but the gals are having a hard time admitting they believe the same thing.

Quote:
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hey johnnymk, ever saw the movie Shallow Hal?

Yep, I helped to direct the movie. They were going to call it Shallow John, but it just didn't sound right.
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Old 01-30-2005, 10:31 AM   #21
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Johnny, I agree with you. You cannot be with someone you're not attracted to. That's not fair to you and its not fair to the girl. I think its awesome that you bring this up because attraction is a huge part of a relationship be it physical or mental or whatever. However, maybe if you spend more time with a certain person, they will become more physically attractive to you because of their wonderful personality. I guess you'll just have to wait and see.

All I know is that my SO is the most attractive guy I have ever met. When we first met I thought he was attractive and as things progressed he just became more and more attractive to me through his attitude, personality and charm. Attraction is one of the perks of a relationship - if you don't mind missing out on a huge perk, I guess you could be with someone you weren't attracted to, but I dunno why anyone would want to do that.
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Old 01-30-2005, 02:06 PM   #22
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and in the reverse, i couldn't get serious with someone that was as johnny puts it "the cat's meow" but yet had the personality of a wet sock.
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Old 01-30-2005, 02:16 PM   #23
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on that note, I couldn't get serious with someone that used the term "cat's meow". or "personality of a wet sock" for that matter
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Old 01-30-2005, 02:21 PM   #24
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Quote:
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on that note, I couldn't get serious with someone that used the term "cat's meow". or "personality of a wet sock" for that matter
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Old 01-30-2005, 02:22 PM   #25
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on that note, I couldn't get serious with someone that used the term "cat's meow". or "personality of a wet sock" for that matter

on that note, i coudn't get serious with hapoo.

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Old 01-30-2005, 03:06 PM   #26
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Quote:
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on that note, i coudn't get serious with hapoo.



Are you serious?
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Old 01-30-2005, 03:22 PM   #27
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and in the reverse, i couldn't get serious with someone that was as johnny puts it "the cat's meow" but yet had the personality of a wet sock.
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Old 01-30-2005, 07:41 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by GracieBayb
Johnny, I agree with you. You cannot be with someone you're not attracted to. That's not fair to you and its not fair to the girl. I think its awesome that you bring this up because attraction is a huge part of a relationship be it physical or mental or whatever. However, maybe if you spend more time with a certain person, they will become more physically attractive to you because of their wonderful personality. I guess you'll just have to wait and see.

All I know is that my SO is the most attractive guy I have ever met. When we first met I thought he was attractive and as things progressed he just became more and more attractive to me through his attitude, personality and charm. Attraction is one of the perks of a relationship - if you don't mind missing out on a huge perk, I guess you could be with someone you weren't attracted to, but I dunno why anyone would want to do that.

i think there has to be an initial attraction (you can't think the person hideous), but i also think that personality can drastically change your attraction level. I've met guys who should be (and initially were) attractive to me, but once i discover their personality (no intelligence, huge ego, big jerk, etc) they usually become incredibly unattractive instead. the physical appearance of the person is only part of the attraction for me. love makes Graf irresistably sexy & attractive to me, and me to him, though i wouldn't define either of us as model-gorgeous.
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Old 01-30-2005, 09:58 PM   #29
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Get serious with them? No.

But I've had sex with a lot of women that I didn't find attractive.
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Old 01-31-2005, 04:59 AM   #30
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2 baggers?
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