tupacboy

between a divorce and a anullment?

WhiskeyPapa

I'm not Catholic (I believe annulment is primarily a Catholic thing) but from what I understand, it is the recognition that a marriage should never have existed.

My aunt was asked by her ex for an annulment, because he wanted to marry a Catholic gal in a fully sanctioned Catholic wedding. In order to do that, she would basically have to say that nothing good ever came out of this marriage. She refused, since they were married for 20 years and had two kids. I don't blame her.

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Jeffbx

A divorce is a legal separation of a marriage, and an annulment kind of wipes the marriage away, as if it never existed. Usually an annulment happens on Sunday morning in Vegas after a night of very heavy drinking and possibly a blackout.

Annulments are used a lot by Catholics who want to re-marry in the church. Since the Catholic church doesn't agree with divorce, you are not considered to be in good standing with the church if you're divorced, and you're not supposed to take part in any sacraments, including marriage, within the church. An annulment is a technical way around this, by saying the marriage is null and void, nothing good came of it, and you would have been better off not marrying in the first place.

Johnnymac

Since Catholicism is being brought up here this is an answer ripped from Catholicanswers.com:

Many people refer to annulments as "Catholic divorces," but divorces and annulments differ in very fundamental ways. Still, it might be easier to begin by seeing what annulments and divorces do have in common.

A divorce and an annulment are similar in that they both are legal declarations that are necessary before one person can marry another, if either of them had been married before and the former spouse(s) are not deceased. But that's where the similarities end and the differences begin.

A divorce is a civil judicial act whereby what was a civilly valid marriage is officially terminated. The state makes no secret about its claimed power to separate what it once joined. (I hedge a bit on conceding the state power to separate what it "joined" because, in many cases, what it joined was a valid marriage under natural law, and that's not something the state is free to tinker with. But that's a different problem.)

A Church annulment, on the other hand, is an ecclesiastical judicial act whereby what was believed to be a canonically valid marriage is declared not to have been one in the first place.

An annulment does not deny that a relationship, perhaps a long and serious one, existed between the parties. It does not imply that parties were culpable in living together as man and wife or that their children are illegitimate.

Divorce destroys something that was; Annulments recognize that something never was. That is not just semantics. It's a matter of precision and hence a matter of truth. Thoughtful people will avoid treating things like divorces and annulments, which are similar in some respects, as if they were similar in all respects

nickel

^what he said.
my sister went through a Catholic annulment for her first marriage, and she went through the ringer. she had to meet with a priest many times, fill out a bunch of forms which contained tons of questions, a lot of personal questions. her friends, family, and ex-husband's friends, family, had to answer questionnaires also. (i had to do this). the questions ranged from asking if i knew of abuse in the marriage, to how much alcohol was consumed by each, etc., very personal stuff.
the whole procedure left me pissed off actually.
after the paperwork and my sister's meetings with the priest were finished she was told all would be reviewed by a committee and then after paying a $500 "fee" for services and paperwork filing she would be notified if the annulment was accepted. that is when my sister said, fvck it.
they were asking too much. she was basically doing this so she could re-marry in the Catholic church to please my parents and grandparents, and all the bs was making it just not worth the effort.

so she just re-married in another church, another religion completely, which placed no restrictions on her because of a previous divorce.

tupacboy

how do u know which one to do?

Johnnymac

The annulment process is very difficult on the person going through it and in my opinion it should be.

WhiskeyPapa

Didn't any of the copious info posted above answer that? Perhaps you need to either rephrase your question, or give some details of the specific situation.

whitak24

from a legal standpoint, an annulment treats the marriage like it never happened. that means there's no alimony, no division of marital property, etc. it's basically wiping the slate clean.

divorce brings with it a variety of legal obligations.

as to the question of which one to get....well, it depends on the situation. however, annulments are available in fairly limited situations, so it may not even be an option for you or whoever you're asking about.

Johnnymac

Whitak is there such this as a Civil Annulment? As a Catholic I had only heard of it within the church.

Jeffbx

If I remember correctly, there is one, but it's a very limited timeframe. For those, "Oh, crap, what was I thinking!" type things - I think you're limited to 48 hours, or a week, or something like that.

InfiniteNothing

An annulment is like control z; a divorce is like violently hitting the delete key over and over.

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whitak24

yes, marriages can be annulled by the courts, typically when the original decision to marry was based on coercion or fraud.

in general, i think there has been a move away from this -- i think courts prefer to deal with the disolution of marriage from a divorce perspective. however, i think most states still have statutes that allow marriages to be voided.

for example, check out California Code Section 2210:

nickel

exactly, an annulment in the Catholic church says the marriage never happened. i have issue with this because then what do we say about the children who were a product of this union, of this marriage?

Catholic church is messed up that they don't recognize divorce. i mean there is physical abuse in a marriage and they want the marriage to remain intact or else go through their drawn out process to say the marriage never existed? the marriage sure as hell existed and there are kids to prove it did.

grrrrrrrrrrr, yes, i am Catholic, and frustrated at times.

cadetevon

I'm Catholic and I'm divorced. I just met with my priest last night to look into getting my marriage annulled. Turns out that my marriage was in "bad form" because there was no priest or deacon present.

So instead of a very expensive, long and involved annulment process with the Tribunal, turns out all I need to do is fill out a single page form, give a copy of my divorce papers, wedding cert and baptismal cert and that's it.

Indeed I asked, "So Father, is this "bad form" process cheaper or more expensive than the Annulment process?"

Father So-in-so replied, "Yvonne, it's cheaper than the down payment for the Annulment."

LOL, turns out it'll only cost $25! w00t!

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Johnnymac

I struggle with this as well. In theory I agree with the black and white nature of marriage and that it cannot be reversed, "for better or for worse" . But in real life it doesn't apply very well. If someone I cared about was being abused I would definately want them out of the marriage.

cadetevon

LOL. is this like the Lemon Law?

J/K guys.

MrGreg

Does it seem odd to anyone else that in order to get an "approved" separation (anullment) from the catholic church you have to pay through the nose?

Sound to me kind of like an indulgence from the days of Martin Luther.

Note: I'm not catholic and could be talking out of my butt here.

cadetevon

There are many, many cases where the person getting their marriage annulled doesn't pay. You only pay if you can, otherwise it can be waived or lessened.

Johnnymac

There are also many cases where it is not granted.

cadetevon

This is true.

chrissy

Goodness guys.

I just asked my ex for an annulment. But it really looks like I need somthing that states my first marriage "Lacked of Canonical Form"

Audrey asked me to take communion -- which I haven't done in over 10 years because my marriage to her dad was not in the church. So, now here I am, going through the same thing. wow.

Right now, I am waiting for a copy of my marriage certificate from STL so I can get the ball rolling.

cadetevon

This is the same one page (double sided) form that I too must use. GL to us both, eh?

brainsmile

it's what movie stars do when they are being dumb

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Maarchk

One of your best posts ever!!!



Ok here is the down and dirty and maybe inaccurate.. but its what i know and see...

A civil anullment, is for 48 hours or something like you did not have capacity, like drunk, high something was messing with your mind or you were under duress, like the brides father had a gun to your head...
Also used when people wish to cheat the system. They marry so that one memeber who is an illegal alien can become a citizen, which happens by marrying an american. thus they are now a citizen, and then you get an anullment and if you do it right, they are still a citizen.

Religous anullment... usually means that the marriage was not right, or is not right in some way. I thought that it had to be done before you had children, but it seems as if i am wrong. You need to do this if you wish to be remarried by the Catholic Church. a prime example was the richard of england. I believe he got an anullment and got remarried, although i found that to be sketchy.
Originially, the King of England back in the day wanted an anullment to marry again, but he would not be granted one as he had kids and a marriage that did not fit. So he said nuts to this, and formed his own church so he could remarry... So there are points at which you can no longer qualify for an anullment.

A divorce is the legal state precedding to say that the union is over and to decide how to divide up, property, goods, and kids. This is longer and messier if you are fighting and do not have a prenuptual agreement. That is an agreement that simply says, in case of a divorce, we decided ahead of time how to split things. A divorce can be fast if you are still friends with your Ex.

Wow, sorry i wrote so much today... I think its mostly accurate and only slightly opinionated. I am a retired catholic, but i hope to only be married once and i dont think it will be inside the church.

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SolidSnake

Isn't the anullment recognized by the pope or something? cuz' i heard he was the one that well anulled the whole thing

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