JaQnAbOx

So my girlfriend is in NYC for school right now. Ive noticed strange things always happen to her. Maybe there is something about her, but strange men always want to talk to her, they follow her around the subway, they play with her hair! and basically just creep her out.

She isnt too big 5'8" 110lbs and is a petite chinese girl. She always finds herself in these situations and she doesnt know what to do but try to get away from these people. Most of the time they just follow her around the subway station/trains.

What should I suggest to her to do when this happens again?
SCREAM! and make a scene
Pepper spray (is it legal in NY?)
Take self defense classes?

zenbooty

If she's young and attractive, she's going to get a lot of attention in a big place like NYC. And strange things are pretty much the norm here. Not being a chick, I don't really know how much perv interaction is normal for a girl in NYC, but I would think common sense precautions like avoiding being alone on the subway or in the streets late at night would suffice, especially in the shadier parts of town. Where in NYC is she?

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JaQnAbOx

She lives up near columbia, but works near chinatown

ArkiStan

That's wierd. Asians aren't that rare around here. I wonder what it is about her that makes her so attractive to these wierdos. How often has this happened.

sbp

JaQnAbOx needs to post her picture so we can decide.

JaQnAbOx

shes told me about 4 instances (She has only been in NY since Sept)

the one that really creeped me out was when in a crowded subway some guy was playing with her hair and smelling it. luckily a really nice guy yelled at him....the creep then got off on the next stop.

Another guy kept moving seats to sit next to her so she finally got off the train and the guy followed her around the transfer spot. She eventually left the turnstyle waited for the guy to come out..and then she ran to the next turnstyle and went back in. I guess the guy didnt want to waste the $2 chasing her.

err but yea....lots of strange stuff.


haha maybe you are the creep following her around the subway...

Cheesypuff

I think we need some pictures!!!!

but...seriously....self defense classes are honestly a waste of money. A self defense video will work just as well. Unless your taking some sort of martial arts esk sort of class...a self defense class is very basic. I'll sum up a class in this post.

if somebody attacks you follow these points

point 1 - scream
point 2 - go for the groin
point 3 - go for the eyes
point 4 - go for both

btw...we need pictures!!!

does your girlfriend use garnier frutis? her hair smelled a bit fruity j/k

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Merlin

Sorry cheesy but you are as wrong as can be on this one. If you get a video your may pick up some interesting knowledge but it is really useless if you don't get to practice. In a class you practice the moves time and time again so that you can do them properly in na emergency. A book is in no way an adequate substitute for an instructor.

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Butch

By the way . . . pepper spray & mace are not legal in NY.

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MikeD

But feel free to carry them anyway...

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Lolita

I'd say telling the guy loudly to stop will get enough attention from people around her for the guy to back off

...and although pepper spray might be illegal in the city, I doubt cops will have a huge problem if she uses it to defend herself.

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cheapie

ask her if the hair-smeller looked like this guy. i think i saw him connected to a NYC amber alert recently for something similar

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Paymaster

Not a lawyer, but I would think that the creep could file assault charges whether the cops "had a problem" or not.

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baggio248

NYC is no different than anywhere else. It's just that theres alot more people in a small confined area. My girlfriend was on a subway with her luggage going to JFK, and some guy grabbed her croch. She was on the subway fairly late, and there wasn't too many people on the train. She froze up as it was happening. She couldn't scream or put up a fight, so she just got off at the next stop, and waited for another train.


:Stupid:

It is a good thing to know, and it can apply to every day situations. You do have to practice, otherwise its useless. In a class they prep you for alot more situations than a video or book would. A book and video are good if you already know what you are doing, and if you have someone to practice with. Once you practice enough, it becomes second nature and your reaction time is faster and natural.

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Grimm

It has to be her body language. She needs to be aware of it and adjust it so it doesn't scream "Easy victim here!!!".

zenbooty

Oh thanks for using the absolute worst photo of me you could find.

cheapie

lol. sorry man...it was the ONLY photo of you i could find. i would have emailed and asked for a good one but that would sort of spoil the joke.

Houdini

It's too bad that only criminals can pack guns in NY. Licensed CCW holders are almost always impeccably responsible, and don't go around mugging or killing people. Expanding that "privilgege" to celebs, politicians and others doesn't mean anything to he average Joe who wants got home safely.

Also it's been shown that when CCW licenses are issued, crime goes down b/c the bad guys don't know who's safe to attack.

Memo

As stated before obvious ways to avoid trouble are staying in well-lit areas, avoi d being alone, avoid strangers and most importantly avoid zenbooty. Also, make sure she is very assertive in saying "NO" or "STOP" if a problem does arise. And while pepper spray may be illegal and an attacker may press charges if used (I don't know, I'm not a lawyer) it's still better than getting raped.

Butch

What the? Non-sequitor of the week . . .

None of the annoyances she's faced involved a guy with a gun, and in none of these cases would a gun have helped her.

Please keep your statements on such subjects 'on-topic' and in the political forum.

Lolita

I was trying to word my thoughts but that's pretty much what I wanted to say - I'd rather have to deal with a lawsuit than something like rape

Houdini

You can't be too careful. She expressed worry about the guys following her, etc. Pepper spray and well-lit areas came up. That implies the need for defense. NY, Chicago, and others, people are made defenseless by law. It is perfectly relevant to this topic. Hell, the thread title is "Safety in NYC. My statement was anything but a non-sequitor.


Please, sir, back off with the commands. It had everything to do with this thread. Whether or not you agree with me shouldn't dictate where I post.

Though you may and have disagreed with me in the political forum, attacking my relevant statements in a different forum is, well, wrong and rude. Statements such as yours may belong in the forums where it's ok to get a little touchy on subjects and more provacative in your arguments. I was simply trying to post a theory as to why guys feel comfortable creeping out and following ladies around in the city.

Butch

a) I was quite polite and didn't 'command' anything . . . last I checked, saying 'please' was indicative of making a request

b) You raised an issue/opinion of policy - hence, politics - there had been no policy discussions in this thread. All there had been was a factual discussion of what the law was, and then what the implications/tradeoffs could be if it were broken in certain situations. This discussion was in response to a direct question from the thread poster.

When there is an off-topic thread mourning the passing of a political leader, the opinions of that leader's policies are left out and reserved for the political forum. The thread is focused on facts and non-political opinions. In my view, this is a similar principle.

Anywho, that's my response and I'm done . . .

zenbooty

Crime in NYC hasn't been lower in 40 or 50 years now at least, you understand?

Let's keep the proselytizing in the political forum, and use this thread for helpful advice, shall we?

As long as you don't agree with that part about Zenbooty.

Houdini

To many, carrying a weapon is helpful.

Lolita

hehe, I'll be sure to give you a if I ever see you on the street

zenbooty

Usng that photo as a guide, you'll never recognize me

Houdini

Why must you always disagree with everything I post? Is it simply for the sake of doing so? Must your rude disagreements carry over to other forums as well? Is it a personal matter? Also, you can't help but adopt this condescending tone, for example, "you understand? - shall we, etc.' that is completely unnecessary.

ArkiStan

All right. enough talk boys. Let's see some pics!!! And I don't mean Zenbooty's!!!

Burzhui

Oh jeesus, don't listen to lolita that woman doesn't know right from wrong.

It is NOT illegal to use and carry pepper spray in NYC, it is however illegal to purchase it through mail catalogues and Internets

You may also use it if the situation is escalated to the level where you are threatened. The justification for using pepper sprays must either be self-defense from personal injury or an arrest situation, and the force must be reasonable under the circumstances. For example, the law says you can´t lawfully spray someone in the face for using obscene language or because you are simply afraid because they look mean.

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