another one o' them "differences between men and women" jokes...

welfareloser · 04-17-2006, 01:24 PM

this one made me laugh so hard because it's so BAD...

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men
and women differ so much. And I never have figured out
the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured
out why men think with their head and women with their
heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and
I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up,
and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you
to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the
planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch
with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to
satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded
to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the
bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night,
I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work
to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch
and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed
department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several different very expensive outfits. She
couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd
just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment
her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each
outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she
picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell
you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet
when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think
I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,
honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction
from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited
anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No
honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
with a baffled "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
for a while. You're just not in touch with my
financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your
shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at
least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

Alright girls. Repost this if you agree. Hell even if
you disagree, repost it.

Men, repost this because you have balls.

Jenny · 04-17-2006, 01:35 PM

lol Funny!

TofuNinja · 04-17-2006, 02:04 PM

hahaha

BigJon · 04-17-2006, 02:28 PM

Hahahahahahaha!

Sirrich3 · 04-17-2006, 05:48 PM

funny....

PoorAvatar · 04-17-2006, 09:43 PM

good one!

04-18-2006, 07:16 AM

lol good one.

speedracer120 · 04-18-2006, 08:48 AM

Hahaha. That's some funny ish.

AlwayzMarel · 04-24-2006, 11:22 AM

funny, but it's not alwayz true for the woman to not be in the mood, i have a man who says he's not in the mood.

g1984 · 04-24-2006, 12:06 PM

I thought that was funny the first time I read it. I read it in a myspace bulletin.

How about this.

A woman told his husband that he could tie her up in bed and do anything he wanted. He tied her up and went golfing.

DarkFury · 04-24-2006, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by g1984

I thought that was funny the first time I read it. I read it in a myspace bulletin.

How about this.

A woman told his husband that he could tie her up in bed and do anything he wanted. He tied her up and went golfing.

That's almost like the one where a guy meets this woman who tells him... "For $50, I'll do anything you want...."

So he hands her a brush and a bucket and says... "Paint my house... Beeeyatch!!!!"

gwilks98 · 04-24-2006, 08:26 PM

Or the wife demands for her birthday that her husband have something in the driveway for her that goes 0-200 in 3 seconds.

...on her birthday, he put a scale in the driveway.

g1984 · 04-25-2006, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gwilks98

Or the wife demands for her birthday that her husband have something in the driveway for her that goes 0-200 in 3 seconds.

...on her birthday, he put a scale in the driveway.

Ouch!

Mommypooh · 04-25-2006, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlwayzMarel

funny, but it's not alwayz true for the woman to not be in the mood, i have a man who says he's not in the mood.

I am just about always in the mood.

04-17-2006, 01:24 PM	#1
welfareloser Grand Moff Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: jabba's palace. (yes, i do... and no, you can't.) Posts: 9,718	another one o' them "differences between men and women" jokes... this one made me laugh so hard because it's so BAD... I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her. Alright girls. Repost this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, repost it. Men, repost this because you have balls. __________________ Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life. ~ Leo Buscaglia http://www.welfareloser.com http://gotapexblogs.net/users/welfareloser/

04-17-2006, 01:35 PM	#2
Jenny Chief of Naval Operations Join Date: Mar 2000 Location: Kansas City area Posts: 10,947	lol Funny! __________________ Check out my spoilers for over 20 shows @ SpoilerFix.com Check out my TV blog, where I post weekly & daily TV schedules, TV news, interviews with TV stars & more! All new TV forums as well @ TV Is My Pacifier

04-17-2006, 02:04 PM	#3
TofuNinja Rear Admiral Upper Half Join Date: May 2000 Location: On Serenity Posts: 3,503	hahaha __________________ "To search for the old is to understand the new." -Gichin Funakoshi- ===>>>LABELED CANTACUZENE'S DUMBEST PERSON ALIVE!!!<<<===

04-17-2006, 02:28 PM	#4
BigJon Vice Admiral Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In the kitchen...skinning onions... Posts: 4,946	Hahahahahahaha! __________________

04-17-2006, 05:48 PM	#5
Sirrich3 Rear Admiral Upper Half Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: In Sunny Southern California Posts: 3,950	funny.... __________________

04-17-2006, 09:43 PM	#6
PoorAvatar Lieutenant Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 289	good one!

04-18-2006, 08:48 AM	#8
speedracer120 Rear Admiral Upper Half Join Date: Mar 2000 Location: HB,CA/PA Posts: 3,437	Hahaha. That's some funny ish. __________________ Off in La La Land

04-24-2006, 11:22 AM	#9
AlwayzMarel Lieutenant Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: California Posts: 384	funny, but it's not alwayz true for the woman to not be in the mood, i have a man who says he's not in the mood.

04-24-2006, 12:06 PM	#10
g1984 Lieutenant Junior Grade Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 149	I thought that was funny the first time I read it. I read it in a myspace bulletin. How about this. A woman told his husband that he could tie her up in bed and do anything he wanted. He tied her up and went golfing. Last edited by g1984 : 04-24-2006 at 12:11 PM.

04-24-2006, 08:26 PM	#12
gwilks98 Vice Admiral Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: StL Posts: 4,300	Or the wife demands for her birthday that her husband have something in the driveway for her that goes 0-200 in 3 seconds. ...on her birthday, he put a scale in the driveway. __________________ "I know the pieces fit, cause I watched them fall away." "Cold silence has A tendancy to Atrophy any Sense of compassion." MJK

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