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Thread: I'm going to invite this lady to Alabama...

  1. #1
    aka the keg killer mechmike0034's Avatar
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    I'm going to invite this lady to Alabama...

    http://rmitz.org/freebsd.daemon.html

    I might have to look into FreeBSD, or at least get a t-shirt to rattle some of the locals with...



    Linda Branagan is an expert on daemons. She has a T-shirt that sports the daemon in tennis shoes that appears on the cover of the 4.3BSD manuals and The Design and Implementation of the 4.3BSD UNIX Operating System by S. Leffler, M. McKusick, M. Karels, J. Quarterman, Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, Reading, MA 1989.

    She tells the following story about wearing the 4.3BSD daemon T-shirt:

    Last week I walked into a local "home style cookin' restaurant/watering hole" in Texas to pick up a take-out order. I spoke briefly to the waitress behind the counter, who told me my order would be done in a few minutes.

    So, while I was busy gazing at the farm implements hanging on the walls, I was approached by two "natives." These guys might just be the original Texas rednecks.

    ``Pardon us, ma'am. Mind if we ask you a question?''

    Well, people keep telling me that Texans are real friendly, so I nodded.

    ``Are you a Satanist?''

    Well, at least they didn't ask me if I liked to party.

    ``Uh, no, I can't say that I am.''

    ``Gee, ma'am. Are you sure about that?'' they asked.

    I put on my biggest, brightest Dallas Cowboys cheerleader smile and said, ``No, I'm positive. The closest I've ever come to Satanism is watching Geraldo.''

    ``Hmmm. Interesting. See, we was just wondering why it is you have the lord of darkness on your chest there.''

    I was this close to slapping one of them and causing a scene -- then I stopped and noticed the shirt I happened to be wearing that day. Sure enough, it had a picture of a small, devilish-looking creature that has for some time now been associated with a certain operating system. In this particular representation, the creature was wearing sneakers.

    They continued: ``See, ma'am, we don't exactly appreciate it when people show off pictures of the devil. Especially when he's lookin' so friendly.''

    These idiots sounded terrifyingly serious.

    Me: ``Oh, well, see, this isn't really the devil, it's just, well, it's sort of a mascot.''

    Native: ``And what kind of football team has the devil as a mascot?''

    Me: ``Oh, it's not a team. It's an operating -- uh, a kind of computer.''

    I figured that an ATM machine was about as much technology as these guys could handle, and I knew that if I so much as uttered the word ``UNIX'' I would only make things worse.

    Native: ``Where does this satanical computer come from?''

    Me: ``California. And there's nothing satanical about it really.''

    Somewhere along the line here, the waitress noticed my predicament -- but these guys probably outweighed her by 600 pounds, so all she did was look at me sympathetically and run off into the kitchen.

    Native: ``Ma'am, I think you're lying. And we'd appreciate it if you'd leave the premises now.''

    Fortunately, the waitress returned that very instant with my order, and they agreed that it would be okay for me to actually pay for my food before I left. While I was at the cash register, they amused themselves by talking to each other.

    Native #1: ``Do you think the police know about these devil computers?''

    Native #2: ``If they come from California, then the FBI oughta know about 'em.''

    They escorted me to the door. I tried one last time: ``You're really blowing this all out of proportion. A lot of people use this `kind of computers.' Universities, researchers, businesses. They're actually very useful.''

    Big, big, BIG mistake. I should have guessed at what came next.

    Native: ``Does the government use these devil computers?''

    Me: ``Yes.'' Another BIG boo-boo.

    Native: ``And does the government pay for 'em? With our tax dollars?''

    I decided that it was time to jump ship.

    Me: ``No. Nope. Not at all. Your tax dollars never entered the picture at all. I promise. No sir, not a penny. Our good Christian congressmen would never let something like that happen. Nope. Never. Bye.''

    Texas. What a country.
    "The price of progress is trouble." (C. F. "Boss" Kettering)
    "50% of the American public has below-average intelligence. 70% of the American public now has regular access to the Internet. Do the math." (unknown)

  2. #2
    Secretary of Defense DarkFury's Avatar
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    Honestly, I'da called the sheriff on them yahoos. They had no right to kick her out of a public restaurant. That technically was "assault"...


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  3. #3
    Chief of Naval Operations Markel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DarkFury
    Honestly, I'da called the sheriff on them yahoos. They had no right to kick her out of a public restaurant. That technically was "assault"...
    Theoretically, that would be the direction to take. However, judging from the mentality demonstrated by the local population, getting the sheriff involved might not be such a good idea.
    stay low... keep moving...

  4. #4
    aka the keg killer mechmike0034's Avatar
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    "Paddle faster - I hear banjo music!"
    Last edited by mechmike0034; 10-24-2006 at 10:05 AM.
    "The price of progress is trouble." (C. F. "Boss" Kettering)
    "50% of the American public has below-average intelligence. 70% of the American public now has regular access to the Internet. Do the math." (unknown)

  5. #5
    Secretary of Defense DarkFury's Avatar
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    Seriously, I'd doubt that they would dare touch a woman... regardless of their opinion of what she was wearing.

    Pretty much it would be time to "go Old West" on them mofos with the .357 stashed in her briefcase.


    DarkFury's Pimptopia - Don't Hate the Playa, Hate the Game!
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  6. #6
    aka the keg killer mechmike0034's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DarkFury
    Seriously, I'd doubt that they would dare touch a woman... regardless of their opinion of what she was wearing.

    Pretty much it would be time to "go Old West" on them mofos with the .357 stashed in her briefcase.
    <marsellus> "You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy?" </marsellus>
    "The price of progress is trouble." (C. F. "Boss" Kettering)
    "50% of the American public has below-average intelligence. 70% of the American public now has regular access to the Internet. Do the math." (unknown)

  7. #7
    Admiral Kevster's Avatar
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    I need to get one of these t-shirts for when I visit the in-laws over thar in texASS.
    I think over again
    My small adventures, my fears.
    The small ones that seemed so big,
    For all the vital things I had to get and to reach.

    And yet there is only one great thing, the only thing:

    To live to see the great day that dawns,
    And the light that fills the world.


    -old Inuit song

  8. #8
    Admiral Airencracken's Avatar
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    The idiocy of some people is so profound that it hurts my head.
    "I remember my first orgasm, I just wish someone was there to share it with me..."11-05-2003 05:33 AM - Topane
    They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin
    Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, & the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx
    Hell is other people - Jean-Paul Sartre


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