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Thread: Where are the Jokes?! Oh here's some...

  1. #1
    Born without ears

    Paul, who was born without ears, needed to hire a new manager.
    The next day he had set up three interviews.

    The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to know and was very
    interesting. But at the end of the interview, Paul asked him, "Do
    you notice anything different about me?" And the gentleman answered,
    "Why yes, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears. "Paul
    did not appreciate his candor and threw him out.

    The second interview was with a woman and she was even better than
    the first guy. But he asked her the same question, "Do you notice
    anything different about me?" She replied: "Well, you have no ears.
    "Paul again got upset and tossed her out.

    The third and last interview was the best one of all three. It was
    with very young man who was fresh out of college. He was smart, he was
    handsome, and he seemed to be a better businessman than the first
    two put together. "Do you notice anything different about me?" And
    to his surprise, the young man answered: Yes, you wear contact lenses. '
    Paul was shocked, and said,
    "What an incredibly observant young man. How in the world did you know
    that?

    The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well
    its pretty hard to wear glasses with no f**king ears"

  2. #2
    turducken all the time topane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2000
    Location
    Between the wheels
    Posts
    5,055
    A man had been troubled by his inability to achieve an erection. After visiting numerous doctors and not getting any help he decided to consult a witch doctor. The witch doctor threw some herbs in the fire, shook his rattle,and danced wildly. When he was through he said,"I have placed a powerful spell on you, but it will only work once a year.

    When you are ready just say...1,2,3, and you will get the largest erection that you have ever had. After your wife has been satisfied she simply has to say, 1,2,3,4, and it will be gone for one year." Later that night as the man lay in bed he said to his wife,"Watch this! 1,2,3!" His organ sprang to life, larger and stiffer than ever before.

    His wife was amazed, she smiled and said,"That's great! But what did you say 1,2,3, for?
    Shall we buy a new guitar?
    Shall we drive a more powerful car?

  3. #3
    Lieutenant Junior Grade
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Down in the boondocks
    Posts
    134
    What did the canabal do right after he dumped his girlfriend ?

    Wiped his ass.

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