1. Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
2. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
3. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
4. Ax Me About Ebonics
5. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
6. Boldly Going Nowhere
7. Cat: The Other White Meat
8. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde
9. Donít Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That
10. Heart Attacks ... Godís Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
11. Honk If Youíve Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
12. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?
13. If You Canít Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
14. Money Isnít Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
15. Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!
16. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
17. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
18. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
19. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them
20. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
21. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
22. BEER: Itís not just for breakfast anymore.
23. So youíre a feminist...Isnít that precious.
24. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
25. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Call me Fleet Admiral ßpÍÍ–ÉrÍŠkô!
Go get me some coffee.