Average...good or bad

[Thunder]

got into one of those deep reflective moods...about being average...

at my wife's work...people joke around with each other, saying, "you're so...average"...used as a derrogotory remark, "i can't believe I work with such 'average' people." when i first heard this...i thought it was so funny...but that got me thinking.

what is an average life...off the top of my head...i think being average does suck. thats probably why midlife crises kicks in...when you get old and you realize you've lived a completely average life.

i just turned 26...and i think i had my own little quarter-life crises...wondering what the heck have i done with my life? it was such a sinking sad heavy depressive feeling...i really don't want to experience this when i'm 50...so whats the deal? what is an average life?...
does being average suck?
what does being average really mean?...cuz you can be really successful...but still average...right? at one point i thought if you can become famous...or important...or well known...then that would constitute not being average...but this isn't necessarily so...

at 26...i graduated college in 3 years, finished a 3 year masters, landed a great job as a web developer, and I've been happily married for 3 years, thinking about having kids...not bad right?...then why was my 26th bday so darn hard?

whats the deal about this whole average thing?

[Markel]

You've just hit upon one of life's greatest problems: half the people are below average intelligence.

[Nanotech9]

hey, im only 20 and i ffel the same way... prolly because im not in school, have only been a total of about a semester, am forced to work 42hrs / week to pay bills, and have a regularish job.

on the other hand, i can think, hey, i've got a little money saved up, 2 cars, a motorcycle, some furniture (not much), a good paying job for a 20yr/old living in oklahoma (26k/yr), and, um thats about all...

gosh, i seriously need to get back into school. except i hate school

now im debating weather i should try to still attain my goal in life of buying a $75k Ferrari Testarossa and being able to afford insurance before i turn 30, or if i should give up on my life's dream and just try to find a wife?... either way will be hard, cause i cant even find a Gf, much less a wife.

d00d, i would say your a lucky SOB. enjoy what you have, especially your wife.

[Grimm]

Here's the problem. You are comparing yourself to other people. To be "average" means that you have to be compared to other people to get an average.
Stop trying to compare yourself to people who aren't like you. There is only one person like you, that would be ... you.
In a set of one, you are average. One divided by one equals one. But trying to compare yourself to your neighbor or friend or co-worker and you are comparing apples and oranges.

I have found that no one in the world thinks exactly like I do. Not even Reverend Evil. I have two friends that think similarly to me, on about 95% of all the subjects we discuss. But the other 5% is totaly different. And those are the people "just like me".

Don't worry about being average. That's some marketer's pipe dream. They try to fit you into some little category to sell you things, or vote a certain way, or watch certain TV shows.

Just be you. Don't worry about how everyone else is or is not like you.

[Thunder]

yup...i think i just got in a weird mood...
not complaining about life...i love life...i love my wife!..she's great. just got into one of those weird reflective kind of moods...you all know what i mean...

[Grimm]

Originally posted by Thunder
yup...i think i just got in a weird mood...
not complaining about life...i love life...i love my wife!..she's great. just got into one of those weird reflective kind of moods...you all know what i mean...

Yeah, I know what you mean. You just stop and look at yourself in the mirror and think; Where am I going, what am I doing, and where the hell am I going to hide all these bodies!!!

[pennypinch]

Call me the dissenting opinion, but I think there is something markedly wrong with being average. The average isn't pretty. It works at Wal-Mart or paints houses or sells bathroom tiling. Note that I'm not saying that there's anything inherently inferior with any of those vocations, but I sure as **** don't want to do any of them. Average drives a Camry or, if it's feeling a little randy, an Accord. Average's furniture is beige. Average lives in a suburb 23.5 minutes outside the city and has a room it refers to as the "rumpus" room, as if any rumpus ever went on in there.

And average is totally great for and with some people. Most (i.e., the average) people aspire to that: security, safety, silence. God knows it would drive me crazy, but you have to ask yourself if that what you really want, and if this feeling is just a cry for a little variety (as opposed to making the alternative your life.

I don't think I'm looking for dominatrix night three times a week, but I definitely don't want average. I want the big house, the Porsche, the great wife, the prodigy kids, the job I, not like, but love. And I'm willing to work my arse off (at the expense of other things) and I'm willing to gamble a little more.

That, of course, means risking being below average! You have to ask yourself if your analysis is a bit "greener on the other side".

[helius]

Originally posted by pennypinch

<snip>
Call me the dissenting opinion, but I think there is something markedly wrong with being average. The average isn't pretty. It works at Wal-Mart or paints houses or sells bathroom tiling. Note that I'm not saying that there's anything inherently inferior with any of those vocations, but I sure as **** don't want to do any of them. Average drives a Camry or, if it's feeling a little randy, an Accord. Average's furniture is beige. Average lives in a suburb 23.5 minutes outside the city and has a room it refers to as the "rumpus" room, as if any rumpus ever went on in there.
<snip>

Average would be making a combined household income of close to $50k/year. Your typical Walmart job would be way short of that.

Wanting something better is a common trait that everyone shares I believe. Although I doubt if anyone (even the downtrodden) would aspire to be the definition of average. I for one wouldn't mind being average, on average. Of course, different people would weigh different things differently to come up with his/her definition of average.


I have these theories:
- Maturity is the state you reach when you can finally accept that you are on average, average.
- Happy is the man who accepts that he is, on average, average.

[welfareloser]

a part of me gung-ho agrees with pennypinch, and the other half is just as vehemently disagreeing. i could have had a life of above-average success, and then decided that i wanted something more than money and prestige. in fact, at my grad school exit interview, i told the "dean of student retention" that i would rather work at walmart than turn into a big soulless swinging richard with a five-car garage, disfunctional kids and an extramarital affair. (okay, so the stress of the moment got to me, because the man was being fairly derrogatory... i do have tact. really. i even use it on occasion.)

and yet, i have not exactly resigned myself to being average. i think that nearly everybody, and DEFINITELY everybody who has a college education, feels pressure to be special in some way. it doesn't matter where you find that feeling, but we all need it.

i think some of this started in the sixties, when people started to look for fulfillment in every aspect of their lives. a career used to be just a way to make money; now it is how you define yourself. and no career is ever good enough for some of us. there are very few people that i know that have not changed directions completely AFTER getting a bachelor's degree. we go to school, we head toward a specific career, and when we get there, it's not fulfilling. it's not what we expected. so we change, we look for something better. engineers want to be architects. vets want to be horticulturists. phd researchers want to be high school teachers.

i really don't even know how to explain this behavior, or excuse it. i know our hard-working immigrant grandparents would be sorely disappointed in us.

[attgig]

reflecting on life....
forget the average/beyond average question...

your other statements were far more meaningful...


your 26, and you're right about to settle into the 'average' life...
or more accurately, society's picture of the succesful man/woman...

I think the better questions to ask are 'what are your dreams', 'what are you doing to acheive those dreams', and 'what happens when you acheive those dreams'. I think the last question is most important...because it's admirable to have a dream, really go after that dream, but, once people get there....it's kinda just...eh...now what.

more questions to mull over..
is life about money, material posessions, etc.?
no, there's definitely nothing wrong with that, but when our dream is about getting rich or something to that effect...what happens when you get there? sure, you can have a few more toys....more junk to just waste your time...

My view is somewhat similar to penny..
don't settle for average..
don't settle for something because everyone else has it and that's the norm.



on a slight tangent...
One question that someone asked me a while ago was "what was your childhood dream"...
she was at med school, and she was talking about that with her med school friends, and well, almost none of them said that they wanted to be a doctor......
I always wanted to be a policeman or something like that.(and a professional athelete ), but here i am programming....

[attgig]

Originally posted by welfareloser
i think some of this started in the sixties, when people started to look for fulfillment in every aspect of their lives. a career used to be just a way to make money; now it is how you define yourself. and no career is ever good enough for some of us. there are very few people that i know that have not changed directions completely AFTER getting a bachelor's degree. we go to school, we head toward a specific career, and when we get there, it's not fulfilling. it's not what we expected. so we change, we look for something better. engineers want to be architects. vets want to be horticulturists. phd researchers want to be high school teachers.

that was exactly my point....
what happens when you get there??? ...

[OC]

At this point, I'd settle for moving up to average...

[Grimm]

It all depends on your point of reference, I just want to be your average billionare...

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by att gig


that was exactly my point....
what happens when you get there??? ...

you mean, when you achieve your dreams? nothing. i think. i think you just find another goal. not that i know, because i have never achieved a goal.

heh. look at that. i said that, but i have achieved a lot of goals. very impressive s**t on my resume. but they meant nothing to me as soon as i got them. i think a lot of people are the same way, and i think we are like that because we have been over-trained to be achievers. super-achievers are some of the least happy people i know. the happiest people i know are the single-income families or casual two-income families that are just above the poverty line. they barbeque on the weekends, their kids play hockey on the street in front of their houses, they watch nascar and have cheap furniture. they don't feel bad about not having seen the world, not having read literature. they pass their un-stressed existence on to their kids. they don't have their kids in 8 million after-school "enrichment" programs. they buy jeremy a trombone and let him quit lessons a year later. they let kelly quit gymnastics when it's no damn fun anymore. they are proud of their kids if they go to college, they are proud of their kids if they never go to school and just get a job and make beautiful babies at the age of 19. and it's not even about having "low" expectations, it's about liking who you are. maybe it's about not having expectations at all, it's just being laid back and taking life for what it is.

i have managed to achieve that, somewhat. i am happy that my food tastes good, that it's a pretty day, that i have a library card and a couple of good friends that make me laugh my @$$ off. that's what's important.

then there's my evil side that says "you gonna look like a FOO if you don't get somethin impressive on your resume before that 10-year high-school reunion. HURRY UP!!!" and "hmm, i could go back to school for this..." and "there's still time to be a doctor of SOMETHING, dammit..." and "all i would have to do is this n this n that and in ten years i'll be making six figures..."

then i remember how much more pleasant life is now that i don't clench my teeth at night, i don't have to freak out trying to schedule everything that needs to be done, i haven't worn a watch in over a year because i don't have to worry that i can only do something for exactly 45 minutes before i have to move on to the next task, and that since i do all the laundry and dishes and cooking and cleaning and errands, i reduce the stress level of the rest of my family, and everybody eats better and sleeps more and gets more leisure time, and that's what it's all about.