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Thread: God bless corporate America

  1. #1
    turducken all the time topane's Avatar
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    God bless corporate America

    A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both the teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.

    Afterwards the American team became very discouraged and morally depressed. The American management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A "Management Team" made up of senior management was formed. They investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was that Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 persons steering and one person rowing.

    So the American management hired a consulting company and paid them incredible amounts of money. They advised that too many people were steering the boat and not enough people were rowing.

    To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder.

    It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program," with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. "We must give the rower the empowerment and enrichments through this quality program."

    The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. Then they distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.
    Shall we buy a new guitar?
    Shall we drive a more powerful car?

  2. #2
    i've heard that one before, but it's still funny...
    Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life. ~ Leo Buscaglia
    http://www.welfareloser.com
    http://gotapexblogs.net/users/welfareloser/

  3. #3
    Eternally Ensign Kim's Avatar
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    That sounds just like where I used to work!
    Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
    --Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

  4. #4
    Ruler-Of-All-Things-Beer BrewMaster's Avatar
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    ...and public schools.

    Haha! Never seen that before. Best thread in a lond while!

    Sounds like UCLA where I work.

  5. #5
    Chief of Naval Operations Markel's Avatar
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    Stories like this were circulating heavily (with DEC vs. IBM, etc.) during the demise of Digital Equipment Corporation.
    stay low... keep moving...

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