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Thread: This is for the guys.. GIRLFRIENDS ARE LIKE LEASED CARS

  1. #1
    hot in velour pants Burzhui's Avatar
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    This is for the guys.. GIRLFRIENDS ARE LIKE LEASED CARS

    So i was driving with Kenas the other week and this is what i came up with, however when my girlfriend heard it, she gave me many nipple twisters and punches and other painfull stuff.

    So this was my Logic.

    Girlfriends are like Leased Cars,
    You go to a dealer, and ask her to hook you up with a car the dealer says well you know i have this one beauty in mind... and so you get a brand new one, very often with zero miles on "it"
    And here is when these car payments start, you go crazy because you are not used to paying that much a month plus don't forget the down payment. But with weeks you get used to it, and it doesn't really bother you that much anymore, because you managed your budget. So then there is a break in process, and you try to get accustomed with your new car. First you might not even take it out of the garage and you just look at it and you are perfectly happy. However within a week or so you notice that something is missing, and you have an urge to ride it...
    So you start, but of course you need to give her "gas", because obviously she will need gas, she just can't operate without it, so you start spending money. YOu put in the most expensive gas, you can afford... By the way this goes with the budget previously mentioned... you might cut down on lunch or chilling with friends because you need money for gas and little maintanace things,.. and other random things like an air freshner... who doesn't want their car to smell nice, but of course you are a man, and you want your car to like you, so you don't get the cheesy tree air freshner but you get the most expensive one in the store... and of course your car will appreciate it and smell nice. You go all over the place with your car, you try to go here and there, because of the rush that you get...
    With weeks and moths and years you and your car become almost one, you ride it every day... then a year or 2 go by and then you start riding it into the ground, you ride it as often as possible... but then it starts to leak, and several other maintanace issues come up... she needs a tune up. However you are still mad at her because she blew a a hose a week prior to the tune up, so you take her to some ****ty shop and get a tune up for 50 instead of 150 and of course she is not happy and she is making much noise, usually emited from the front of her body. After you've had enough, your 3 year lease is about up. So you come to that point where you have to give her back... of course you start being all nice to her, you try to fix her up as much as possible, before you have to leave her at the dealer where she once has come from... But when that day comes.. the dealer says that you have to pay dearly.. because there is so much wear and tear on her that no one will want her... and there is too many miles on her, and her headlights are hanging out of their sockets and the fenders are dented, something is wrong with the trunk in the back, and that you forgot your luggage in the trunk. And that most likely she had some flood damage, yes flood damage. SO then you try really hard to keep it to yourself that you didn't turn back the odometer, but the dealer finds that ou anyway. In any case the car is in bad shape and the dealer tells all his other friend dealers that you are a horrible person and that you should not be trusted with leasing a new car and you end up paying dearly... so you end up riding a bycicle (i dunno don't ask)
    Last edited by Burzhui; 09-20-2001 at 10:15 AM.
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  2. #2
    Lieutenant Commander
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    So when does the dealer gets his bonus?

  3. #3
    you lost me through most of it... most of it just seemed to be talking about a car and nothing more. very little is stated in a clever enough fashion to make it seem at all like a comparison with women.

    another "not funny" vote. so far, sir froggy gets my vote for funny of the week.
    Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life. ~ Leo Buscaglia
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  4. #4
    Yeah I agree. And also, monthly payments for leases are cheaper than purchases so you pretty much started off on the wrong foot to being with.
    I do agree that owning a car in general has its similarities with having a girlfriend in some cases:

    1) Wanting to give the car the best gas you can afford - Taking your gf to the best restaurant you can afford.
    2) When the car its brand new, you take care of it and pamper it. But after a few years, you stop caring about washing your car every weekend. - When the relationship is new, you put in a lot of care and effort, but after a few years, you start taking the gf for granted.
    3) When the car breaks down, you try to fix it - When the relationship breaks down, you try to fix it. (at least that's what I try to do)
    4) And when things are beyond repair, you get a new one. - Same goes for having a gf.

  5. #5
    Eternally Ensign Kim's Avatar
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    huh???
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  6. #6
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    Originally posted by Jihforce
    Yeah I agree. And also, monthly payments for leases are cheaper than purchases so you pretty much started off on the wrong foot to being with.
    I do agree that owning a car in general has its similarities with having a girlfriend in some cases:

    1) Wanting to give the car the best gas you can afford - Taking your gf to the best restaurant you can afford.
    2) When the car its brand new, you take care of it and pamper it. But after a few years, you stop caring about washing your car every weekend. - When the relationship is new, you put in a lot of care and effort, but after a few years, you start taking the gf for granted.
    3) When the car breaks down, you try to fix it - When the relationship breaks down, you try to fix it. (at least that's what I try to do)
    4) And when things are beyond repair, you get a new one. - Same goes for having a gf.
    Agreed!! And also 3 years after the lease you have to deside wheater you want to keep it for life or get another one.

  7. #7
    hot in velour pants Burzhui's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Kenas


    Agreed!! And also 3 years after the lease you have to deside wheater you want to keep it for life or get another one.
    Ohh yea i forgot about that aspect,

    and to all you other peoples: it made perfect sense in my head, you wouldn'tknow funny if it bit you in the butt
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  8. #8
    hot in velour pants Burzhui's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Kenas


    Agreed!! And also 3 years after the lease you have to deside wheater you want to keep it for life or get another one.
    then again of course who usually buys out the car after the lease has expired?
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  9. #9
    Still Unbanned Commander aglio412's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Burzhui


    Ohh yea i forgot about that aspect,

    and to all you other peoples: it made perfect sense in my head, you wouldn'tknow funny if it bit you in the butt
    making sense in ones head and making sense on paper are 2 entirely different things my friend...

    it's very difficult to make a metaphorical statement without any reference of the object [girlfriend] to which you are comparing the subject [leased car]...

  10. #10
    Lieutenant Commander bella's Avatar
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    Hi

    I'm lost
    "Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back

    and realize they were the big things."

  11. #11
    Originally posted by bella
    Hi

    I'm lost
    Are you refering to what Burzhui said or what I said?
    I know for sure that not everyone can understand Burzhui's thinking.

  12. #12
    hot in velour pants Burzhui's Avatar
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    You know what, i have just realized that i am lost as well, burzhui becomes all weird with lack of sleep... it sounded very funny in the car, but when i put it on paper, it's not as funny...
    So here is a joke to make up for it:

    Q. Why are New Yorkers afraid to die?
    A. Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey
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  13. #13
    Commander ironchef's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Burzhui
    Q. Why are New Yorkers afraid to die?
    A. Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey
    Goodness gracious, Burzhui. You made a funny!
    blurt blurt blurt

  14. #14
    Originally posted by Burzhui
    You know what, i have just realized that i am lost as well, burzhui becomes all weird with lack of sleep... it sounded very funny in the car, but when i put it on paper, it's not as funny...
    So here is a joke to make up for it:

    Q. Why are New Yorkers afraid to die?
    A. Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey
    The sad thing about it is that some of the dead bodies where put on a ferry and shipped to NJ too.

  15. #15
    Lieutenant Commander bella's Avatar
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    The car bit...


    Originally posted by Jihforce


    Are you refering to what Burzhui said or what I said?
    I know for sure that not everyone can understand Burzhui's thinking.
    "Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back

    and realize they were the big things."

  16. #16
    hot in velour pants Burzhui's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Jihforce

    The sad thing about it is that some of the dead bodies where put on a ferry and shipped to NJ too.
    ____________________
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  17. #17
    Lieutenant Commander Anck Su Namun's Avatar
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    Originally posted by welfareloser

    another "not funny" vote.
    agreed.

  18. #18
    Chief of Naval Operations sbp's Avatar
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    Red face

    For a moment there it was a stupidzbu flashback.

    Paragraphs are appreciated.

  19. #19
    hot in velour pants Burzhui's Avatar
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    Originally posted by sbp
    For a moment there it was a stupidzbu flashback.
    You take that back



    Paragraphs are appreciated.
    pffffft paragraphs shmaragraphs
    ____________________
    IF A FAT GIRL FALLS IN THE WOODS
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  20. #20
    Originally posted by sbp
    For a moment there it was a stupidzbu flashback.

    Paragraphs are appreciated.
    i know, i've been getting them confused in my mind recently... wonder why...
    Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life. ~ Leo Buscaglia
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  21. #21
    Originally posted by welfareloser


    i know, i've been getting them confused in my mind recently... wonder why...
    What? they are two different people?!?

  22. #22
    Originally posted by Jihforce


    What? they are two different people?!?
    well... they claim to go to different schools... i dunno, tho... it's all beginning to make sense now...
    Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life. ~ Leo Buscaglia
    http://www.welfareloser.com
    http://gotapexblogs.net/users/welfareloser/

  23. #23
    hot in velour pants Burzhui's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Jihforce


    What? they are two different people?!?
    Well that is it, and thanks for all the fish
    ____________________
    IF A FAT GIRL FALLS IN THE WOODS
    DO THE TREES LAUGH?

  24. #24
    Originally posted by Burzhui


    Well that is it, and thanks for all the fish
    nah, i take it back... you can't be him... you'd have to use about 60 times the number of ellipses...
    Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life. ~ Leo Buscaglia
    http://www.welfareloser.com
    http://gotapexblogs.net/users/welfareloser/

  25. #25
    hot in velour pants Burzhui's Avatar
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    Originally posted by welfareloser


    nah, i take it back... you can't be him... you'd have to use about 60 times the number of ellipses...
    much better

    what happened to him anyways the last i remember of him is that poll
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  26. #26
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    Re: This is for the guys.. GIRLFRIENDS ARE LIKE LEASED CARS

    Originally posted by Burzhui
    Girlfriends are like Leased Cars,
    You go to a dealer, and ask her to hook you up with a car the dealer says well you know i have this one beauty in mind... and so

    And here is when these car payments start, you go crazy because you are not used to paying that much a month plus don't forget the down payment.
    im lost.... is this about a whore or something?
    ...

  27. #27
    court-martialled
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    ROFLMAO

  28. #28
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    Re: Re: This is for the guys.. GIRLFRIENDS ARE LIKE LEASED CARS

    Originally posted by El Scorcho


    im lost.... is this about a whore or something?
    If you treat your car as a whore ... you don't deserve to have one!!!

  29. #29
    Old Skooler Numba 1 eSDee's Avatar
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    Originally posted by welfareloser


    i know, i've been getting them confused in my mind recently... wonder why...
    Ditto
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
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    3 days I dread to see arrive
    3 days I hate to be alive
    3 days filled with tears and sorrow
    yesterday today and tomorrow

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