Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Pregnancy Q & A

  1. #1

    Pregnancy Q & A

    Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
    A: No, 35 children is enough.

    Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
    A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

    Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
    A: Childbirth.

    Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
    A: So what's your question?

    Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
    A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

    Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
    A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

    Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
    A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

    Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
    A: Yes, pregnancy.

    Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
    A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

    Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
    A: When the kids are in college.

  2. #2
    Chief of Naval Operations sbp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 1999
    Posts
    11,037

  3. #3
    Eternally Ensign Kim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    4,573

    Re: Pregnancy Q & A

    Originally posted by chrissy


    Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
    A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

    OMG...VERY VERY quickly. My son squirted every time his little "unit" was explosed to air!
    Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
    --Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

  4. #4
    court-martialled
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    Brig
    Posts
    0

    Re: Pregnancy Q & A

    Originally posted by chrissy
    Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
    A: Childbirth.
    LOL...


    we didn't know what my son was till he was born, and as soon as he poped out my soon to be x-wife sat up and said " damit you won it's a boy " and laid back down....



  5. #5
    hot in velour pants Burzhui's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    9,200
    Oh dude that's funny
    ____________________
    IF A FAT GIRL FALLS IN THE WOODS
    DO THE TREES LAUGH?

  6. #6
    that was a good one... and i'll put in another vote for "cool air currents on the unit causing showers..." at least when girls pee, you know what direction it's gonna go... with boys, all you can do is close your mouth, squint, and hope he doesn't nail himself in the ear.
    Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life. ~ Leo Buscaglia
    http://www.welfareloser.com
    http://gotapexblogs.net/users/welfareloser/

  7. #7
    Lieutenant Junior Grade Rubberduckyluvr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Riverside, CA
    Posts
    133
    Very funny. This is one of the funniest pregnancy jokes i have heard. I need to send this to my mom, she teaches lamaze, i am sure her students would get a kick out of this.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •