Dating - or, Women griping about men

OC · 11-01-2001, 06:19 PM

Ever notice that women who gripe about men being jerks usually have more than one man to gripe about? Also, they hardly ever gripe about the nice guys they've dated, they merely say it didn't work out. This brings to mind a few questions:

1 - Why did she pick the jerk in the first place?
2 - Why did she pick another one?
3 - Guys can usually tell when another guy is a jerk, so why can't women?
4 - For a guy, does it pay more to be a jerk or a nice guy?
5 - If women really want nice guys, why are there so many single nice guys?

Just thought I'd ask - this whole dating thing is confusing.

-OC

**revil** · 11-01-2001, 06:34 PM

Excellent observance!

**Memo** · 11-01-2001, 06:41 PM

1 - Why did she pick the jerk in the first place?
He was probably "cute" and "seemed like a nice guy" or maybe she was just desperate. Same reason we end up going out with complete bitches sometimes.
2 - Why did she pick another one?
Don't most people SEEM nice at first?
3 - Guys can usually tell when another guy is a jerk, so why can't women?
Hehe because girls think that we think they're jerks because we're "jealous" probably or just cause we don't like them doesn't mean they won't like him.
4 - For a guy, does it pay more to be a jerk or a nice guy?
Lil of both?
5 - If women really want nice guys, why are there so many single nice guys?
Maybe they're ugly nice guys or boring nice guys or weird nice guys

Haha, that's sort of my imput from a guy

.

**oblongmelon** · 11-01-2001, 06:43 PM

that's our right as the superior species to be able to bitch and gripe when we want..

Now git a move on..my bunions need filin'.

**theorangeone** · 11-01-2001, 08:27 PM

Originally posted by overclocked
Ever notice that women who gripe about men being jerks usually have more than one man to gripe about? Also, they hardly ever gripe about the nice guys they've dated, they merely say it didn't work out. This brings to mind a few questions:

1 - Why did she pick the jerk in the first place?
2 - Why did she pick another one?
3 - Guys can usually tell when another guy is a jerk, so why can't women?
4 - For a guy, does it pay more to be a jerk or a nice guy?
5 - If women really want nice guys, why are there so many single nice guys?

Just thought I'd ask - this whole dating thing is confusing.

-OC

Some guys are jerks, but they don't seem that way at first. Some guys are smart enough to not act like a jerk at first, and then you're smitten with them. Then they start to act like a jerk and sometimes it takes a while for you to notice it.

Some people pick the jerks because they little to no self esteem/confidence and feel like thats all they deserve.

My ex turned out to be a jerk. We were best friends for about a year before we started dating. He started being a jerk about 3 months after we started dating, but I didn't really see it til about 1 year after we dated. I didn't realize just HOW MUCH of a jerk he was til I found out he slept with one of my other best friends after about a year and a half.

Would I date someone like him again? Possibly. He wasn't a jerk at first. Would I date him again? NO. Tho I might listen to other people telling me hes acting like a jerk.

**Burzhui** · 11-01-2001, 08:30 PM

superior species my ear

**penguintrix** · 11-01-2001, 09:52 PM

nice guys always finish last.

**revil** · 11-01-2001, 11:01 PM

Originally posted by penguintrix
nice guys always finish last.

So true.
So would any ladies like to date an evil man bent on world domination?

**Memo** · 11-01-2001, 11:03 PM

Originally posted by revil

So true.
So would any ladies like to date an evil man bent on world domination?

are you a RICH evil man bent on world domination?

**revil** · 11-01-2001, 11:16 PM

why the hell are you asking?!

**Nija** · 11-02-2001, 12:21 AM

Originally posted by revil
why the hell are you asking?!

ROFLMAOPMP oh my gawd that was too funny!!!

Nija

**Nanotech9** · 11-02-2001, 05:37 AM

**welfareloser** · 11-02-2001, 08:07 AM

hmmm... there are two guys in my life... and i just fell for the jerk, nodamnedsense, and now the nice guy, positiverolemodel, is picking up the pieces for me like a knight in shining armor. so. so far i'm proving the point that jerks win and nice guys finish last, but it's not all over yet, so i'll let you know how this one turns out.

**BrewMaster** · 11-02-2001, 08:34 AM

Well I think my GF and I break the mold.

I'm a nice guy, at least I think so. My GF and I have been together for over year and everything is all good. We don't fight. We may disagree on stuff, but that doesn't affect how we treat each other. I think it's cuz we sharethe same faith. We're both Christian and that makes a big difference (in a good way) in how relate.

I think that inherently people are *******s. I'm an *******. You'rea an ******* too (not directed at anyone in particular). The way I treat people has changed a lot since I became a Christian about 6 years ago. And that definately affects my raltionship with my GF.

that's my 2 cents.

**Jihforce** · 11-02-2001, 10:59 AM

Originally posted by revil
why the hell are you asking?!

And think the 4th image from the left of his sig should tell you why

heehee

**Memo** · 11-02-2001, 11:19 AM

hahahhh, **** YOU

**Jihforce** · 11-02-2001, 11:22 AM

No thanks, I don't go that way.

**~~DoPeY5007~~** · 11-02-2001, 11:50 AM

ok guys play nice

**Nija** · 11-03-2001, 02:43 AM

oh man.. still t00 funny...

**Anck Su Namun** · 11-04-2001, 08:01 AM

Originally posted by overclocked
Ever notice that women who gripe about men being jerks usually have more than one man to gripe about? Also, they hardly ever gripe about the nice guys they've dated, they merely say it didn't work out. This brings to mind a few questions:

1 - Why did she pick the jerk in the first place?
2 - Why did she pick another one?
3 - Guys can usually tell when another guy is a jerk, so why can't women?
4 - For a guy, does it pay more to be a jerk or a nice guy?
5 - If women really want nice guys, why are there so many single nice guys?

Just thought I'd ask - this whole dating thing is confusing.

-OC

1. A lot of women like a challenge. A really nice guy who thinks the world of you isn't a challenge.
2. Women convince themselves they can change a guy. Or, they have low self esteem and think they can't do better than jerks.
3. A lot of times they can tell, they just like what is bad for them.
4. Somewhere in the middle haha
5. Because the nice guys are generally the shy ones, and a lot of women are stupid (see #'s 1 and 2)

**johnnymk** · 11-04-2001, 11:54 AM

The need for a challenge is true for both sexes. Once the challenge is gone, people usually move on. The women I see who end up with really nice guys are control freaks, but after a while they leave them, because they lose respect for them. In other words- Be a jerk, you'll get more respect from your mate. (Unfortunately)

**Grimm** · 11-04-2001, 01:25 PM

Ok, the real reason women go for the jerks. Pay attention folks.

Natural selection. Any organism's primary goal is reproduction. The selection of a mate that offers the greatest chance for successfully reproducing and continuing the genetic line is paramount. In the case of a human, the ability to provide protection and sustinance were the primary factors. More agressive domineering males were better providers. The male that took more food and agresively attacked any threat to the offspring was the best selection and therefore the best choice.
This choice is subconcious. When a woman looks at a man she picks up on subtle clues that he is that type of man, an agressive domineering jerk. She finds that attractive. She will then rationalize all of his behaviors to fit into what she is intelectualy looking for. In essence tricking herself into thinking that the jerk is what she is looking for.
Nice guys are automaticaly eliminated because they do not display the antiquated features that the woman's subconcious is looking for.
So guys, if you want a girl, be a jerk. Some women are intelectualy and emotionaly evolved enough to overcome their subconcious reaction, but they are few and far between.

Men do the same thing, but they look for something different. They want a mate that is capable of bearing and caring for as many childern as possible. Their subconcious tells them to look for young, well aportioned, healthy women. Men are even worse at overcoming their subconcious urges, but we already knew that.

**SpeedEng** · 11-04-2001, 01:32 PM

Originally posted by Grimm
Ok, the real reason women go for the jerks. Pay attention folks.

Their subconcious tells them to look for young, well aportioned, healthy women. Men are even worse at overcoming their suconcious urges, but we already knew that.

yeah your right us men look for young woman. Mines not even born yet

**Y2J** · 11-04-2001, 01:40 PM

Another thing I havent seen thrown about yet:

everyone who is a supposed nice guy and is complaining is spending too much time doing just that, as well as on the computer! Go out and try to find girls. The thinking that nice guys finish last was probably brought into fact by a bunch of guys who spend all their time secluded from the outside world

**Grimm** · 11-04-2001, 02:45 PM

Originally posted by Y2J
Another thing I havent seen thrown about yet:

everyone who is a supposed nice guy and is complaining is spending too much time doing just that, as well as on the computer! Go out and try to find girls. The thinking that nice guys finish last was probably brought into fact by a bunch of guys who spend all their time secluded from the outside world

Nope, doesn't matter. They don't even see you when you are out there. It sucks to be nice. I highly advise against it.
Research shows that women really do go for the jerks. I can't quoter the source, it was too long ago that I heard it.

**welfareloser** · 11-04-2001, 04:16 PM

actual study: on her most fertile days of the month, a woman finds a picture of a jerk (muscular, cocky-lookin, leather pants, dangerous-lookin, irresponsible-lookin) much more sexually attractive, whereas nice-lookin guys (in dockers, slender, glasses, responsible-lookin) are more attractive every other day of the month.

a possible conclusion to draw: women are all about securing a nice responsible guy to pay her way and raise her kids, but want to get knocked up by dashing jerks.

i know, i know, impossible to draw such broad conclusions about millins of women on such a complicated issue as mating, especially with just this one dippy little limited study... i just found it kinda funny.

**welfareloser** · 11-20-2001, 07:44 PM

Originally posted by welfareloser
hmmm... there are two guys in my life... and i just fell for the jerk, nodamnedsense, and now the nice guy, positiverolemodel, is picking up the pieces for me like a knight in shining armor. so. so far i'm proving the point that jerks win and nice guys finish last, but it's not all over yet, so i'll let you know how this one turns out.

okay, so here's my update: the nice guy won.

actually, i won.

i am still in shock that i have someone so special in my life. i keep waiting for someone to wake me up and say, sorry, this isn't YOUR life... we now return you to your regularly scheduled life as a loser...

OC · 11-20-2001, 07:51 PM

Originally posted by welfareloser
actually, i won.

Good for you Welfare.

-OC

**MusashiM** · 11-20-2001, 08:02 PM

So, Grimm, according to your logic, there should be no nice guys left. I mean, really, they should have died out a long time ago...

I consider myself to be a nice guy, but what is interesting is that most women, upon first meeting me, think that I am a jerk. I had almost no attention paid to my by the opposite sex, until a really nice girl found me... Yes, she found me...

**Anck Su Namun** · 11-21-2001, 06:59 AM

Originally posted by welfareloser

okay, so here's my update: the nice guy won.

Yea I have heard of this before. Some women are smart enough to wake up and go for a nice guy the second time around.
What I am hoping for is one who is nice (not boring though haha) and one who is very good looking haha. If such thing exists....