MIRROR MIRROR
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There is legend that goes like this: In a bar in New York there is a magical mirror If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you a wish. If you lie - *POOF* it swallows you up.
A brunette, a blonde and a redhead walk into this bar. They
head straight for the mirror and the redhead goes first. She
says "I think I'm the most beautiful woman on Earth" *POOF* - the mirror swallows her up.
The brunette goes up and she says "I think I'm the sexiest
woman on Earth" *POOF* - the mirror swallows her up.
Last is the blonde. She says " I think........" *POOF*!!
LUCK OF THE IRISH
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An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home
from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.
"So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course" slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to
drink this evening".
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding
his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back,
your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I
thought I'd gone deaf
LIFE SENTENCE
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A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee
in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring
at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and
takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the
room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?".
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years
ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies.
The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you
remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car
fooling around?"
"Yes, I remember" says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the
shotgun in my face and said, either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have
gotten out today".
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