what to do? what to do?

[styleee]

ok, well, i already sorta know the answer, i just want to know why this happens to me.

i haven't dated anyone in a while [sooooooooooooo incredably long i can't remember the last real boyfriend i had.] and its not because i didn't want to, i just kept on coming up with duds. or, in one case thats been going on for about 2 1/2 years now, the dependant boy who won't dump his girlfriend (of 7 years now) unless i tell him i will love him until the end of time. and if i didn't totally like him besides that littly quirk he would be awesome.

anyway, i'm straying, i'll try to stay on track!

so, on new years i meet this totally awesome guy. like, super cool, and i really like him and he likes me and lalalala la. but he lives 2 hours from me so its a little hard. but i think i could still work something out, even with the distance cause he's supa cool. so we will call him boy #1

now boy #2 is this other great guy i met at capoiera. and i dug him from the moment i laid eyes on him. and the ball never lands in my court so i thought i didn't really have a chance. but oh have things changed! we hung out tonight and i really like him too!

AND on top of all this, the dependant boy (boy #3) i think finally got rid of his girlfriend (or rather, she got rid of him,) so there are possiblities there, too. and like, a year ago i would have said no way to this kid, but i've been hanging out w/ him and getting to be really good friends, and i think i might like him, too. plus, all the issues i've had w/ him in the past he's making a HUGE effort to change...& i don't think he's doing it for me, i think he actually is realizing he's messed up a bit in he head and needs some professional help. *and no, he's not crazy, just insanly insecure. which although i don't have any problems with someone like that as a friend, its definitly not what i look for in a man.


so, my question is "what's up with that???" why is it that i hate every guy i meet, and in some crazy fluke there are now 3 good prospects. all of which are also interested in me! wahooo.

and what kills me is that i want to date all three, but i doubt that's a good idea either. and i'm also known for making bad choices, and i don't want to mess anything that could be really good up. so i totally don't know what to do.

i wish i could put each on hold for 3 months and test them all out. then make a decsion. wouldn't that be grand?

[Jenny]

Ouch! Quite the predicament! Well, ask yourself this: Are you looking for someone to date to eventually marry? If so, which of the guys, when you close your eyes and dream, do you see beside you 10 years from now? Sounds like # 3 would be a big mistake, at least for now. I mean, you admitted that you think he would be better as a friend.

Anyway, sorry I'm not more help. Good luck and let me know what you decide!

[jujubees]

When it rains, it pours ...

I definitely think that boy 3 is going to be baggage central. He's dependent and wouldn't leave his old/current relationship, until you promised to love him forever and ever and ever? Umm ... NEXT!

So ... your decision depends on your take on dating. Do you go out with only one person at a time, or do you date multiple people until you find THE one to get serious with?

If you chose the former, then you'd have to decide whether you're willing to invest the extra time and effort required for a long-distance relationship (as if relationships aren't difficult enough, right?). You'd also have to determine if you could ignore boy 2 while with boy 1 (and vice versa).

If your dating style resembles the latter, then I don't think you have a problem! See boy 2 after capoiera, and see boy 1 on the weekends. Since you just met these guys, you don't have any binding commitment to either ... go out and play!

[Jihforce]

Care for a guys perspective on this?
SURE YOU DO! Haahaa. I was going to tell you anyway so you're stuck. Heehee.

Boy#1 - Sounds like you totally dig him. But he lives far. IF you ask me, keep him around as a friend. Why? Cuz he's too far. I bet you will get tired of the driving back and forth crap that comes with LDRs and things would fall apart unless someone commits to move closer. But that's probably wishful thinking.

Boy#2 - Sounds like the winner. Lives close. You get to hang out with often, and you like him. Which is probably the best deal of them all.

Boy#3 - GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY, where did you dig this one out of? A cave somewhere? I'm kidding by the way. Homeboy needs to be welcomed to the real world. As in "Nothing is forever, live with it". You actually had to promise him? Geez, well obviously you don't want him long term so why even bother right? Keep him around as a pseudo-boyfriend or sorts. That kinda stuff. Don't fall for him. Trust me. In the long run, you'll feel like you are babysitting and get fed up with his insecure ways.

Analysis - Personally, I don't go for the date all three a the time thing like most girls do or suggest. Its sort of a selfish, self gratifying type option that ends up hurting others and may cause issues in the long run. However, under certain circumstances, its ok. As a guy, I don't like 2 or 3 timing women. I don't take relationships lightly and I'm not exactly numb to those things either. I notice, I may not say anything, but I know when someone is "cheating" on me. And let me tell ya, its not cool. Like Jenny says, if you are just dating casually, just want to have fun and see where it takes you, then by all means, date them all. But if you are going around telling then you love them. Stick to one. You can't LOVE all three the same way. Anyway, hope you pick the right one. Now I can tell you right now that #3 just ain't right for you You're too cool to be babysitting. So now its a 50/50 thing. Personally, I think #2 would be the safest and wisest choice for the moment (unless he's got some mental disorder we don't know about )

[hapoo]

Lets not forget option #4

[styleee]

Originally posted by hapoo
Lets not forget option #4

d'oh!

talk about ldr!

but you know hapoo, your always my first choice!

[styleee]

ok, thanks everyone for the imput.

and i know #3 is a total tool, but he's grown on me. and i have been meaning to have a talk with about keeping our friendship just that. but my its nice to have such an ego boost every once in a while, even if its from a slightly insane guy. and seriously, if you took that one HUGE fault away from him, he would be marvelous! and like i said, i always make the wrong choice, so its great that you are all steering me away from the bad one!

anyway, thanks again for all the insight!

[hapoo]

Originally posted by styleee


d'oh!

talk about ldr!

but you know hapoo, your always my first choice!