In prison you get three square meals a day.
At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your
kids to eat it.
In prison you get an hour each day in the yard to
exercise and mingle.
At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow it
so your kids can spread more toys all over it so that
you can go out and clean it again because little Jr. can't
sleep without his latest lego creation.
In prison you get to watch TV, cable even.
At home you get to listen to your children fight over
the remote control and get treated to hours and hours
of mindless cartoons thanks to cable.
In prison you can read whatever you want and attend college
At home you get to read weekly readers starring Dick,
Jane, and Spot and worry about how to send Jr. to
college and still be able to eat for the next twenty years.
In prison all your medical care is free.
At home you have to pawn your mother's silver and fill
out trillions of papers for insurance and hope the
doctor will see you before you die.
In prison, if you have visitors, all you do is go to a room,
sit, talk and then say good-bye when you are
ready or your time is up.
At home you get to clean for days advance and then cook and
clean up after your guests and hope that they will
one day leave.
In prison you can spend your free time writing letters
or just hang out in your own space all day.
At home you get to clean your space and everyone else's space,
too. And.... what the heck is free time again?
In prison you get your own personal toilet.
At home you have to physically hold the bathroom door
shut in order to keep from having someone standing over you
demanding to know how long till you're done so you
can do something for them.
In prison the prison laundry takes care of all your
At home you get to take care of them yourself, plus everybody
else's, and get yelled at because somebody's favorite shirt
In prison they take you everywhere you need to go.
At home you take everybody else where they need to go.
In prison the guards transport all your personal effects for
you and make sure nothing is missing.
At home you have to lug around everybody else's stuff in your
purse and then wonder who went in it and took your last
In prison there are no screaming or whining children or
spouses asking you to do something else for them, or screaming
at you because you didn't.
stop me when I get to the downside of jail, will ya?