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Thread: FBI to issue 5-day terror forecasts

  1. 02-14-2002, 06:07 AM #1
    topane
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    Wink FBI to issue 5-day terror forecasts

    Via SatireWire:
    Abandoning the last-minute, panic-inducing warning system it has used until now, the FBI today said it will begin issuing regular, five-day terror forecasts. Today's outlook: light, scattered crises early, tapering off by noon. Tomorrow: Clear, and seasonably dangerous.
    According to U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft, the forecasts will serve as a more consistent, and less frightening, reminder that Americans should stay vigilant, while the familiar, five-day format should make it much easier to plan ahead.
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  2. 02-14-2002, 06:12 AM #2
    OC
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    Ha! "Clear, and seasonably dangerous." That could almost apply to my evening commute...

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