Common Name: Lobsterman
Scientific Name: Homerus americanus
Geographical Range: Throughout United States and Canada
Age: 43
Description: A strange combination of mammal and crustacean, the Lobsterman has the body of a fat human and the forearms of a North Atlantic Lobster. The exoskeleton appears to end just above the wrists.
It is not known whether or not dropping them in boiling water will bring out the reddish astaxanthin coloration, but it might be fun to try.
One thing that IS known is that Lobstermen are incapable of reflex-amputation (dropping a limb in defense). Instead, they opt for reflex-bowel movements, loud belching and whining to their wives.
Habits: Lobstermen are dull-witted creatures that believe themselves to be funny. They spend their days holding up their claws at seafood stores saying, “Look! I have lobster claws! Isn’t that hilarious?”
The first four hundred times it is.
Lobstermen, being natural scavengers, gorge themselves on anything they can find, being particularly partial towards inexpensive beer, Nacho-cheese Doritos and day-old burritos.
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Mojo - Is this the giant lobster you were referring to near the San Onofre Nuclear Power Plant?
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