too funny not to post

[Slutzy]

Let this be a lesson: obey all posted checkout signs!
_____________________________________________________________________

LOWELL, Mass. (AP) -- A shopper accused of beating another customer for bringing too many items into an express checkout line surrendered Friday, but her lawyer said she was only defending herself.

The lawyer said the other customer swore at Karen Morgan, then spit in her face and lunged at her outside the Market Basket grocery store. Police say Morgan, 38, was the aggressor.

The Feb. 10 dispute began when the 51-year-old woman, who was not identified by police, brought 13 items into a 12-items-or-fewer checkout lane.

The woman said Morgan got in line behind her, complained she didn't know how to count, then swore at her. She said that as she walked home with the groceries, Morgan drove up and the two exchanged words.

``Then she got out of the car and commenced a whooping on me,''' the woman told The Sun of Lowell.

Police say Morgan pulled the victim's hair and hit her hard enough to knock her to the ground, then kicked her in the head. The woman took down the car's license-plate number, and it was traced to Morgan's address.

Morgan's attorney, David LiBassi, said Morgan never kicked the woman or initiated any assault.

Morgan was charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon -- her shod foot. She faces up to 10 years in prison.

Friday's surrender came after she failed to appear at an initial court hearing. Arraignment was expected later in the day.

[sho.gun]

[whitak24]

interesting story. i heard about something like this happening once before

[Markel]

psst! woman beaten for 13 items in express lane

[Merlin]

Where's DF & the Repost Posse?

To the Batsignal!

[Markel]

Originally posted by Merlin
Where's DF & the Repost Posse?

To the Batsignal!

STAND DOWN!

The official "HRB" rules state that the repost should still be on the first page of the forums.

[Grimm]

Originally posted by Markel

STAND DOWN!

The official "HRB" rules state that the repost should still be on the first page of the forums.

The "official" rules state 30 days from the original post.

[molecularfire]

Is this a repost? I thought the original story was about the first lady getting beat up, not about the arraignment and defense of the second lady. It's more of a continuation of the first thread, only in a second thread. Makes sense, b/c the first thread is dead (I'm usually in favor of letting dead threads die) IMO.

[Grimm]

Originally posted by molecularfire
Is this a repost? I thought the original story was about the first lady getting beat up, not about the arraignment and defense of the second lady. It's more of a continuation of the first thread, only in a second thread. Makes sense, b/c the first thread is dead (I'm usually in favor of letting dead threads die) IMO.

No, it is the same topic. It should be appended to the older (not dead) thread. So you have to go down a few pages to find it, no big deal.
If you don't want to go find it you should just make the topic something like: More on the 13 item shopper beating.

That wy no one mistakes it for a new topic.

[Markel]

Originally posted by Grimm

The "official" rules state 30 days from the original post.

No, we are now in a kinder, gentler HRB era. We only jump on people if the original thread is still on the first page.

[Slutzy]

Jeez guys. I don't read the off topic page much, so i had never seen the original thread.

So sorry to have taken up all your oh-so-valuable time.

[Markel]

Originally posted by Slutzy
Jeez guys. I don't read the off topic page much, so i had never seen the original thread.

So sorry to have taken up all your oh-so-valuable time.

Slutzy, it's all in fun (at least on my part). I was just trying to point out that there had already been quite a bit of discussion on this story in the other thread.

[molecularfire]

Yeah, don't rag on Slut too much. He/she (please let it be a she, the joke possiblities would be endless) is kinda new at this. I actually like the one page rule.

[ironchef]

nah, give it to the focker. let 'em flail around like the rest of us did the boy's got a thin skin (though molecularfire, the jury's still out on whether slutzy is truly a guy.. i have my doubts)

actually, i hadn't read the original so it was nice to read this. what a flippin' loon!

[Markel]

One thing I'll add is that it REALLY helps to be somewhat descriptive in your subject when you post a thread. That's the reason I added the "Swordfish Stabbing" to my "Beyond Troutslapping" subject earlier. If someone else came upon the same story and just saw "Beyond Troutslapping" in the subject list, they would be more likely to start a new thread.

[molecularfire]

Darn shame. A girl with a name of Slut would've been hilarious. Ah well... I've still got Slutskaya (sp?).

[Slutzy]

Man, tough crowd round here

[Grimm]

Ok, ok, we let him slide on the HRB but we get to crucify him for the non-desciptive topic.

Does this meet everyone's approval?



We should fine him $103,600.

[Markel]

Originally posted by Slutzy
Man, tough crowd round here

Once you get a few thousand more posts, we might get used to you.

[Slutzy]

Originally posted by Markel

Once you get a few thousand more posts, we might get used to you.

I don't think I can last that long!

OK, ok, let me redeem myself with a decent joke. It'll make the thread worthwhile.

Why did the Enron exec kill himself?

He wouldn't fit on the gd shredder.

Eh? Eh?

[ChrisMG187]

Next!