Lieutenant Junior Grade
If you live in Southern California (this probably will not work in New York, only a hunch though) and are looking for a decent newspaper to replace your small time one like the Daily Depressed which has tons of typos or the Press Enterprise which in some areas comes in about 10,000 sections of 2 pages each I recommend signing up for the Los Angeles Times. It only costs $1 a week and the deal goes for up to 24 weeks. It is an 800 number:
Ethernet (n): Something used to catch the Etherbunny.