Tech - Hello, Can't Crash Computers, may I help you?
Luser - Yes. Please transfer me to your legal department.
Tech - I'm afraid our attorney isn't here in the store, can I help you with something?
Luser - You better. I'm going to be sending you my hospital bill and you have to replace the monitor for my computer.
Tech - What happened, sir?
Luser - I was using the Internet while I was taking a bath.
Tech - In the bath?
Luser - I had a table in the bathroom. But the mouse fell in the water and when I went to get it, the monitor cable got tangled up. It fell in too and I got terribly shocked!
Tech - And you want us to pay for it?
Luser - Just get me in touch with your legal people. They'll handle it.